First of all, I do need to mention that this story does contains homosexual themes. However, the first chapter is about as explicit as this gets. It's more of a human being's journey to find love again. I apologize if it isn't your cup of tea, but I could instead interest you in maybe 'Perhaps Love' (my other fiction) or other fiction that isn't slash at all. This story will also bring up the idea of mythology, and I should say beforehand that I do not at all question your religion or your beliefs, and that this story isn't a reflection of my own beliefs, but is simply a work of fiction, written for my own enjoyment as well as, hopefully, yours.
So that said, I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!
-Algae

-
-

-- Yellow Heart --

-
-

“Jeremy, Jeremy please wake up.”

The slumbering figure rolls over, pulling the blankets closer. “Not now Lucas… go back to sleep.” It mumbles.

“Jeremy… Jeremy!” goes Lucas again, nudging the dark haired youth lying in bed, this time with a tinge of desperation in his voice. Lucas glances at the watch on his arm, and then shifts his glance back to the naked form of his lover on the bed. This time, Jeremy rolls over and looks at Lucas, blinking the sleep out of his eyes, and Lucas kneels by the bedside.

“Why are you dressed? Where you going?” Jeremy mumbles, reaching to push a stray lock of Lucas’ blonde hair out of his face. My golden boy, a pet name Jeremy uses sometimes for Lucas, Lucas who brightened up every room he entered with his huge smile, dark blue eyes, and infinite capacity for kindness and honesty.

“I didn’t wanna be in an embarrassing state when… when it happens.” Answers Lucas, looking into the confused brown eyes of his lover of two years.

“What are you talking about Lucas?”

Lucas takes a deep breath, and flashes Jeremy a weary smile. “Do you love me?” he asks.

“Of course I do…” answers Jeremy, “without any doubt… so tell me what’s wrong.”

The blonde haired man leans down and takes him into his mouth, kissing him gently. Breaking off the kiss, he reaches for one of Jeremy’s hands and takes it into his own hands. “I have something to tell you… and I don’t have a lot of time to say it… so please listen carefully ok?”

“Y…yeah. Sure. Lucas, are you in some sort of trouble? Should we go to the police?”

“No, no, it’s not like that. It’s… complicated. Do you promise not to laugh?

Jeremy scanned his lover’s face, going over every furrowed line, trying to find a reason as to why Lucas would doubt him. The moonlight shining through the window of the apartment that they shared throws dark shadows over Lucas’ face, making him seem like some sort of mythical creature, bathed in moonlight. It was the face that Jeremy had studied many times, and yet tonight the worry on it made it seem to belong to a stranger. “I won’t laugh.” Jeremy says, and Lucas takes a deep breath.

“Jeremy… I don’t know how to say this… but I… I… I’m a… um… a god.”

“Sorry, what?” asks Jeremy, breaking into a smile.

“I knew you’d laugh…” Lucas says, dismay showing on his face.

“No, no.” says Jeremy quickly. “Ok, I’m being serious. Um. So… explain?”

“Yeah, you heard me… I’m a god. More specifically, I’m a reincarnation of a god, Apollo to be exact.”

Jeremy sits upright on the bed, bringing his left hand over till it covered Lucas’ hands. “Lucas… um… I love you, no matter what you think you might be… and in the morning we can go see a shrink, get this all sorted out…”

“God damn it Jeremy!” says Lucas angrily, rising off the floor. He sighs, running his hands through his hair, letting go of the sudden anger. “Fine… here…” Lucas walks to the doorway, flipping on the light switch. Orange light flows through the room, and the sudden illumination causes Jeremy to blink as his eyes gets used to the light.

And just as suddenly as the light filled the room, it is gone again, plunging the room back into darkness. However, in the palm of Lucas’ hand is a tiny bright orange ball, like a small sun floating above his open hand. As Jeremy stares at it Lucas looks at him, to make sure he was watching. Lucas slowly closes his hand around the small ball of light, and beams of light are squeezed out through the gaps between his fingers. Then Lucas quickly opens his hand, and the light bulbs flicker back on, once again filling the room with light.

“How did you…” Jeremy begins, and Lucas sighs again.

“Why do you always have to be so stubborn? I’m Apollo, and among other things I’m the god of light, and although I don’t have as much power as I used to have… I can still do tiny things like that.”

Jeremy looks at Lucas suspiciously, before speaking. “Ok… say you really were Apollo… and say that wasn’t just some really cool party trick… why are you telling this to me at 3:23 in the morning?”

Lucas stands up and paces the room, glancing at the clock. “Because Jeremy… in about five minutes time… I’m going to die.”

“W… w…what?! Lucas, don’t say things like that!”

“Well, not really die per say. But I’m reaching the end of this reincarnation’s lifespan. I’ll be reborn as another reincarnation, somewhere else on this world.”

“Lucas… you’re talking crazy talk… and you’re starting to scare me…”

Lucas leans down at the side of the bed again, pulling Jeremy into a hug. “I’m really sorry Jeremy…” he says, whispering into his ear. “I wish I didn’t have to put you through this… When I get reborn… I… I lose all the memories of my previous reincarnation… including memories of you.”

“Lucas…” Jeremy pleads, holding him tightly, trying not to cry like some sort of sissy. “I don’t know why you keep saying these things… but please stop, you’re really scaring me…”

“I’m sorry Jeremy, I’m really really sorry… But I need to tell you this. Here.” Lucas says, pulling himself apart from Jeremy and pressing something into the dark haired man’s hand. Jeremy looks at it, and sees that it’s a stone, with a yellow outline of a heart drawn on it. The stone was warm, as if it had been sitting out in the sun all day. “This next part is important, and I don’t have much time to tell you this. This stone contain my memories from this reincarnation. Jeremy, I can’t make you do this, but I love you, and I want to be with you. I know for a fact that my next reincarnation will start off at approximately my current age, it’s one of those difficult things I don’t really have time to explain right now. But you must get this stone to my next reincarnation. When you do, I’ll be able to remember everything about this current life, and we can be together again. Please Jeremy, find my next reincarnation…”

“I… I don’t… understand…” Jeremy stammers, starting to cry. “Why are you telling me this Lucas? You’re not going to die… you work out a few times a week, you eat all the right foods, you’re perfectly healthy. Why?”

“Jeremy please… please just listen.” Lucas says, pressing his forehead to Jeremy’s, and Jeremy just nods through the tears. “Look through my palm pilot for a man named Daniel Worthington. He’s the only lead I have, but I’m sure he knows some news about other reincarnations, hopefully he’ll know where to find my sister. Jeremy, you must find Artemis. Artemis is the only one who always knows who I get reborn into. Find Artemis, and you’ll find me. I might not look the same as what I look right now, but trust me, I’ll still love you with all my heart. But I’ll need this stone I just gave you to remember all that. Promise me Jeremy. Promise me!”

Jeremy nods his head again, “I promise Lucas…” he says, through the tears.

Lucas glances at his watch. “One minute…” he mutters. He looks at Jeremy again, staring into those brown eyes that he had fallen in love with the moment they had met in freshman year. He gives a sad chuckle. “I never told you Jeremy, but I’ve loved you from the first moment that I saw you… Please don’t cry for me ok? I love you so much, please don’t cry for me…” and with that last word, Lucas Andrew Chesterfield slumps to the ground, the life drained out of his dark blue eyes.

- - - - - -

It has been a month since Lucas died. The doctors had said it was a freak aneurysm, a blood clot in his brain that couldn’t have been detected, much less stopped. They said it was painless, that he had died almost instantly.

Jeremy Hastings hadn’t left his apartment for that whole month, except to attend Lucas’ funeral. They said many good things about him, all of which were true, all of which were understatements to Lucas’ real greatness. He had so many friends, each of them having been touched by Lucas’ light. They all said their condolences to Jeremy and Lucas’ parents, and Jeremy had hugged and cried with Mr. and Mrs. Chesterfield, reminding each other of how much that amazing man. But now the tears are all dried up, and there is nothing left but the emptiness.

There was one story that the pastor told at Lucas’ funeral. It was one that Jeremy had asked him to tell. It was about this small baby crow that Lucas had found, one that had fallen out of its nest. Its wing was broken, and Lucas had felt so bad for it, that, like a small boy would have done, he had brought it home to nurture it back to health, making a splint for its wing and everything, before setting it free. He said that he always had a soft spot for animals, said it ran in the family. Lucas had a soft spot for everyone.

Another anecdote revealed Lucas’ inability to lie to people. He always told the truth, and when the truth was hurtful, he was always able to cushion it, so that the person wouldn’t be offended by it. One time, their friend Samantha had gotten the worst possible haircut imaginable for a date she had that evening, but no one had the guts to tell her that it was so ugly, because she seemed so proud of it. Lucas had sat her down, fed her some cookies that he made, and told her in the nicest way possible that she couldn’t possibly expect to go on a date with that head of hair. Five minutes later he was driving her to the hairdresser to have it fixed.

But looking back, everyone agreed that the most honest thing about Lucas was his music. Lucas played the guitar and the piano, both of which he had picked up when he was a kid. Through his music, Lucas always told the truth; when he was happy, he sung about it, and when he was feeling down, the music reflected that as well. It was raw, and it was personal, and it had both beautiful and haunting melodies.

Jeremy didn’t tell anyone about what Lucas had told him the night he died. At some points during that month he had managed to convince himself that it was all just a dream, that Lucas had died in his sleep, and that it was the depression that made him imagine that entire conversation. Yet, every night Jeremy would open his bedside cupboard and pull out that stone with the yellow heart, and hold it to his chest, feeling the warmth that reminded him of those days when Lucas would hold him close.

“I miss my golden boy.”

- - - - - -

Jeremy stares at his reflection in the mirror. A whole month of depression and loss can really take it out on a person. Where he once had dark brown hair that he would style into a cowlick, a look that Lucas said was very hot, he now has a mat of hair that has lost all it’s vibrant shine, and is overgrowing all over his face. He used to work out at least twice a week at the gym together with Lucas to maintain his physique as well as his stamina for… ahem… sessions. But a month with the lack of activity has caused him to lose some of the fullness to his skin, and the lack of eating healthy food, or much food at all for that matter, has caused his cheeks to become sharper, and his ribs to poke through his previously well-defined chest. His dark brown eyes now have dark rings lining its edges, and the spark that was once there seems to have dimmed down low. His friends said he looked like a zombie, and in a way Jeremy was a zombie; he wasn’t even attempting to ‘go through the motions’ but instead went from sun-up to sun-down in a state of half-life.

His apartment is a mess. The floor is littered with plastic bags and dirty laundry, the pictures on the walls of him and Lucas so happy together taken down and stored carefully out of sight. His apartment is an utter mess. He shudders when he realizes that the apartment is only his now, and not theirs, or ours, or Lucas and mine. They had lived within it together for nearly three years, and memories piled onto memories were stacked into its four walls. Memories of them trying to decorate it themselves, with Jeremy, being the clutz that he was spilling a bucket of paint all over the floor. The floor is still color peach underneath that rug. Memories of the nights where they had dinners together with their friends, the walls reverberating with the sound of laughter and mirth. Memories of the endless nights that they’ve stayed up, fully exploring each others bodies and wearing themselves out till they couldn’t stand up the next day until noon, where they would make strawberry pancakes anyways and pretend it was still breakfast.

Sighing, Jeremy opens up the bathroom cupboard to look for the aspirin. The lack of food was starting to make him have headaches, and although his friends had tried to feed him on numerous occasions, he had always turned them down, claiming that he wasn’t at all hungry.

There are rows of different vitamins and medicines inside the cupboard, but what catches Jeremy’s eye is a black rectangle, one that he had tried to find a few times, but had given up, not remembering Lucas ever owning one, once again falling into the state where he convinced himself that it was all just a dream. A palm pilot stares up at Jeremy, and his breathing slows down to a crawl, his eyes fixated on the small black rectangle.

Hands shaking, Jeremy pulls the palm pilot out of its case and nervously flips it on. Trying not to get his hopes up, he searches through the phone list, till finally, he reaches the letter W. The name Worthington, Daniel, blinks up at him, and Jeremy’s heart makes a small leap, a small spark once lighting up again within his eyes.

“Jeremy? Are you there?” shouts a voice from his living room. “Oh. Well of course you’re here somewhere. Hey sweetie I got you some food… but it looks like you haven’t touched any of the food I got you last week…”

Jeremy walks out of the bathroom and sees his friend Samantha carrying some groceries. She had been very helpful after Lucas’ death, always checking in on him, trying to get him to eat food, trying to get him out of the house. Not that any of it had worked, but… it was the thought that counted.

“Oh there you are.” She says, pushing aside last week’s grocery bags from the kitchen counter and replacing it with the bags she was carrying. “I know it’s probably meaningless to ask… but are you hungry? Want me to fix you something?”

Jeremy puts the palm pilot into his pocket, his heart still not daring to breathe. He looks up at Samantha, and for the first time in a month, gives her a large smile. “Starved. Can you make me some of your famous meat-lover’s pasta?”

Samantha, surprised, looks at Jeremy for a moment, and then collapses on the couch, tears streaming out of her eyes, ruining her makeup. “S…s…sure.” She says, through her sobs, her face decorated with a relieved smile. “I’ll g… get right on it. Oh Jeremy!”

Jeremy sits down beside her and embraces her, which she does back to him, crying relieved tears into his shoulder. “Sam… Lucas is alive.”

“W…what?” she asks, confused.

“He’ll always be alive to me.” Says Jeremy, and Samantha continues crying into him.

But all Jeremy can think of at this point in time was not how hungry he was, or how much he needed a haircut or that Sam was completely drenching his shoulder in tears. All he could think about was that tiny palm pilot sitting inside his pocket, with the flashing name.

Daniel Worthington.

I absolutely love reviews! Please give me any feedback, did you enjoy it? Did you not enjoy it? What part did you like? What do you think I should do better? I'd love to hear what you, the reader, has to say. So please give me a review!