TITLE: What A Wonderful Way To Call It Yours

There he is again, staring at me with those eyes of his... I always try to act like I don't see it, but I see it every damn time. I always see him as he looks at me with want, with need. And you know, it hurts, 'cause I can't give him what he wants.

I just want to live my life peacefully. I don't want to be caught up in this thing, this forbidden-love thingy... I just wanna play basketball and have a good time.

I don't want to stay up all night listening to him cry, because he needs love in a way he can't get it. I don't want to see that burning look in his eyes every time I touch him without meaning to. I don't want to feel like I owe him something.

Sometimes, I wish he had died in that fight with Jessy's rival gang. Sometimes I wish he'd have been put out of his misery, lying dead in that alley floor with a knife stuck through his chest.

And of course, every time I wish that, I feel sick to my stomach and need to throw up... Which I do, every time.

I only want him as my best friend... I can't have him as anything more...

I wish it would all just end.