I walk alone with a full moon for company.

The moon sees straight through to the heart of me.

A sweat breaks on my brow from the close scrutiny.

Why is the moon’s eye so free to see me?

I parade through life with a clownish glee

To hide from sight my mad misery.

I seek out, yearn to find the missing heat.

But when found, slips from me shakily.

I am ashamed of the calculating mind

I feel guilty when praised, and look behind.

The undeserving nature of my soul cries out-

“See me. See what I am truly all about!”

I am tormented by the opposing needs.

I need them to see my true identity.

I need them to love and care about me.

These two, together, can never be.

The moon coldly stares into my soul

Panicked, I grope toward the depths of this hole.

Stopped! My hands are stilled by the bottom too soon.

Where did the abyss go? For answers, I look to the moon.

I am relieved to see trees cover the hateful glare.

This shallow hole will be enough! But I become aware

That it’s easy to lie when I am hidden and composed,

But the walk continues….I shall be exposed!

I should be exposed. I want them to finally see.

The tree’s branches are thinning. Wait!

I can’t be exposed. I pause at the gate

Then continue. The tree deserts me.

The moon returns my coldness and sees through me

I am judged guilty, yet remain free.