Chapter Three

Oh bother...

So, being an angel(even a fallen one, but the term fallen is so fifty centuries ago) I technically cant die. Im reborn, god imparts his holly godness on me and I go on in my next angel like form.

Now, this wouldnt be that bad, truly.

But I like this form. I like it, a lot. Even down to the oddly shaped scar on my right ass cheek that I have no clue how it got there.

I love that scar damnit.

Even if it does look like the profile of Satan. I swear if he carved his name in my-

Back to the point. I was burried under a good ton or a few of what once was a building. And since I couldnt die in the technical sense, being squished seemed to be my only highlight of the immidiate future.

Well wasnt this just fun!

“Fuck.” I groaned, and realized how stupid that was when a load of dust fell down my throat. Coughing didnt help either apparantly, as I heard the building debris groan over me, and a stopped. In an awkward position, my throat sore and the want for a very large fucking glass of water this was not looking up for me.

Calling on the help from god didnt seem well..smart. God had his own issues, like finishing off certian debts and such and such. Other angels were busy as well, and id have to have wrangled fifty million humans in here with me for one of them to pay attention to me. Nothing short of looking like their a miracle would bring them to help another angel.

And there was the fact that I was fallen. The angel of love might help me, but i didnt feel the need to prance around with him on his daily trips to the bath and do...well things. He was an odd little man when he wanted his end of bargians filled. And well, his end as well.

There were a few demons who would help me for a price, I knew that. But I couldnt for the life of me think of one who would help me out of the kindness of their black, black heart.

Which left-

“Dying I suppose?” Came the cultured voice above me, and I groaned, hacking out dust again.

Oh bother, not him.

Anyone but him.

“I thought you liked me Dael?” He asked softly, and the debris was suddenly not on me. Yea, I could be all flashy to if I was the lord of hell. I glared at him, watching with a hint of unsettling jealousy as the boards, bricks and pipeline settled away from me in neat piles.

“Anything broken my dear boy?” He asked me. Never once have I heard Ol' Nick scream. He just...doesnt. Its creepier when he whispers like that though.

I glared back.

What, it was that or pee my pants.

“Ill take that as a no. Up with you then.”

Without a by your leave, my body was floating upward, and I couldnt move a muscle. I could though swear, and I did, watching myself as I was settled on my feet, and quite painfully my wings were ripped from my back. I snarled, watching some shreds of my coat fall to the ground in useless piles.

Fuck I loved this coat.

My wings hung uselessly behind my back, they've been useless since I fell from heaven. I didnt even bother to look at them. There was no comfort in seeing the lifeness shreds of meat and feathers thanks.

“Tch, poor boy. Still havent figured out to heal that have you?” Ol' Nick said, looking at me with those odd eyes of his. His eyes were freaky. A show of power I think, that or his demon form saying fuck you to his human. They melted from one color to the next, and it was a bit stomah churning to watch.

“Nick put me down please. And put them back.” I will not swear, I will not swear.

Did not help that I was floating a good two feet off the fucking ground. I swear, if he wasnt satan, I would have ripped him a new tail damnit.

“Dont think such mean things Dael! Tisk tisk.” He looked generally amusement as he set me on my feet, and I rumpled my coat back into place. Well sort of.

Did I mention that ol' Nick could basically read minds? And I cant stop it?

“Now, are you allright?” He asked again, as if he was actually concerned, and I rolled my eyes, busying himself with flicking off a glob of gunk from the eggs off of my coat.

“Yea yea Im fine. Why are you here?” I had no patience for him. If he had left Hell it meant no good for me.

“I cant visit an old friend?” He pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. A very muscled chest, nice suit to. All crisp and black, and his fedora matched. I wanted to cram it down his-

“Sure, but we arent friends. Now why are you here?” I tried again.

The corners of his mouth twitched.

“You called me.” He said simply.

I froze.

I didnt remember calling him. Sure, I went through the roll call of demons, angels and immortals alike who owed me a favor, but not once did I think of him.

And nor did I think of him unconciously, that was just gross thank you very much.

Even if It did look like I had his name carved into my ass. Which I still had to talk to him about.

“I did not!” I sounded like a five year old child throwing a fit...

Satan smirked, taking off his fedora to give me a wonderful view of that bastards shaggy blond hair that I very badly wanted to-

I hated him him..a lot.

“You did call me Dael. With your heart.” He looked so sincere that I almost believed him. And if it was possible, Satan was giving me puppy eyes.

“You...I...wait just a fucking minute you're pulling that again!” How mean.

He grinned. “Cant blame me for trying.”

“Pervert.” I muttered darkly, brushing off what dirt I could from my torn and mangled coat as I shuffled away from Satan. Or tried to anyway. I met with a barrier, an invisible one that bounced be back gently, and I snarled. Stupid fucking prick, doing crap like that! How come he had to play with me when I just wanted to go home!!

“My dear angel you want your reward dont you?” He purred, suddenly behind me, resting a hand on my neck. I did not shudder thank you very much.

But I did perk up at the idea of a reward.

“Reward?” I careful about how I spoke, not wanting him to know how badly I enjoyed rewards and treats.

He chuckled, a devious little thing that made me shiver I hated to admit.

“Yes, a reward. You know, while your way of...doing this might have been extremly well...messy, you did finish them off. And I do reward good work. Even If you wont come back to hell with me.” He pouted, but ive heard this talk before. Asshole.

He's tried again and again to get me to go to hell. And I never well thank you. Been there once or twice on visits, its to fucking warm. Not to mention the random ice patches here and there, and the ever bitchy demons who want nothing more then to whine at you.

What he'd want me for I have no clue.

Probably to fuck with mny head again. He's good at the short of thing. Or carve his name on the other ass cheek. Not that the other one was his name though. Just an oddly shaped scar thank you.

“Whats the reward?” I simply asked, watching him carefully.

“Its you're choice. Anything in my power. And its yours Dael. Think about it. Call me when you've figured it out. With your heart.” He cackled and was just gone, as was the barrier.

Stupid laugh, stupid smile.

I looked around, realizing I was very far away from home, cold, and covered in stuff that would surely get me looks from people when I walked past them. I could exert power to not be noticed by them, but chances were I'd collapse from exhaustion half way there and be found in a ditch by some nameless homeless man who used me as a couch. What a bad way to die.

I looked around and sighed, rolling my eyes heaven ward.

One more favor to call, I suppose.

“Satan?” I asked quietly as I stepped gingerly over the piles of rock and other things, finding my way back to the sidewalk. He didnt answer me at first, and I could do nothing but seem like I belonged there, just in case someone came to investigate the fact that there was no building there anymore. Odd, since none of the other ones were affected.

Oh well, let them believe it was some freak accident or something. A mircal of god, killing all the vermin and hobos!

People sucked.

So did being cold, i couldnt feel my toes.

He didnt answer me for a good hour as I walked, hands balled up in my pockets. I supposed he was busy. I mean he WAS Satan. So why not? Im sure he had some work, getting Hell unfrozen in various parts and his demon army in order and all of that.

Hell hasnt been the same since the last war between them and Limbo. I mean its really really hard to go gung ho on the ass of a spirit.

You can guess who won.

Speaking of wining, I caught my reflection in a window as I passed, and winced. I was not going to win any beauty contests. My hair was matted with dust and other things that were left better unsaid, some of it blood though. I poked a tendril back behind my ear, my eyes puffy and dirty as well, making it look like i was beaten. I might have been. I didnt heal like I use to. My coat was the worst of it though.

That could nearly make me cry. But I wouldnt cry, you know why? Because I was an angel, angels dont cry.

I tripped on a rock, and before I could even swear, was face first into the side walk, chin smacking upward, teeth biting into my tongue and coughing up blood. I knelt there, hands to my mouth and wincing in pain as I waited for my tongue to heal.

Laughter echoed behind me. Cold, poliet laughter, and I turned, glaring at the white adorned form behind me.

“YOU!” But it came out bubbled with blood, more like “YOUB!” Stupid tongue swelling...

“You're skills at walking are masterful my friend. Here. Dont bother getting up.” He grinned, baring pointed teeth as he rested two hands under my elbows, supporting my weight easily as he got me to my feet. Brushing me off(I did not appreciate his hand lingering on my ass) he set me on my feet, just as my mouth healed.

Healed enough for me to swear anyway, and not sound like an idiot.

“How come you have the bad manners to show up fucking when I do that? I bet that was your doing to!”

“Nope, all yours.” ol' Nick smirked, eyes sparkling with mirth. I wanted to know how the bugger could stay clean and white and pristine in this dirty area. The temptation to push him into the nearby garbage bags was far to high, and I nearly did it to, hands crunching at my sides. He just raised an eyebrow, as if daring me. But I didnt .I knew well enough that if I pushed him, id be down there with him, covered in garbage and smelling and him fucking white and dandy.

I wanted that spell damnit, what ever it was. I wanted to be clean! My ego was bruised.

“So your mouth to apparantly. Poor angel. Why did you call me?” He asked, inspecting my tongue by parting my lips, teeth and mouth with his fingers without a by your leave. I could have bitten, i should have. But I didnt. You just didnt bite the fingers of Satan. Even I wouldnt go that far.

Talking with your tongue being poked was a wee bit hard though.

“Ibnedbed-” I gurgled out, chargined to see I was doing nothing then getting him slobber covered. He didnt seem to mind though, and kept poking my tongue till he decided it was well enough and took away his fingers, smiling at him in that charming way that just made me want to smack him.

“Sorry what? I dont speak idiot.”

I glared.

“Fine Dael. What did you say?” He tried again, looking the picture of perfect innocence. Yea, me and the pope.

“I needed a favor. My reward or what ever. I cant get home like this. Could you poof me there?” I wiggled my fingers in his face, as if the horribly over used movement meant poofing.

He arched an eyebrow. “Poof?”

“Yea, your razzle dazzle trick thing. You know.” I wiggled my fingers again.

He looked at a complete loss.

Grinding my teeth was not the best way to keep track of my jaw muscles. I could feel them buldge under my cheeks. He tried my patience so much. I was shocked, really shocked that he didnt have a girlfriend, or like..a pet. Why not, he was the worlds most handsome, and nicest and easiest to deal with man ever!

Ahaha.

“How you pop in from one place to another.” I said with exagerated kindness. Understanding dawned on his face and he grinned.

“OH! That. Why didnt you say so? Sure!”

Without a further question or comment on either of our parts he wrapped his arm around mine and we were suddenly not on the dirty, misplaced street anymore. It didnt take long to razzle dazzle, but the inbetween seemed to last forever. It was like Satan's lost walk in closet. Dark, expanding for ever and seemingly going on and on and on and filled with things that kept hissing at me. He really need to kill his clothes before he wore them.

I didnt have much chance to expect the hissing thing by my boot because suddenly there was no hissing thing, no blackness and just my carpet. And my apartment.

“Nice place you have here. I must say I like your bedroom better though.”

I tried to remember if I ever had Satan over in my apartment before. Ive visted him a few times, most of us angels do. Since technically we arent at war with him(its a technicality, it isnt a war till Satan actually sends one of those damn legal letters saying yes, its a war. Till then its just a battle) but I never had him over at my apartment. It was relitively new, and I frowned then, wondering how he saw my bedroom of all places.

Wait a minute-

I whipped around, eyes wide as I looked at the pervert standing across from me. He was grinning, arms crossed over his chest and that smile so over confident. I wanted to smack it off of his beautiful lips but I couldnt. He might turn me into a toad. Or worse, a lawyer.

“You bastard, you've been spying on me!” I felt used, dirty. Oh wait, i was dirty, I havent taken a shower since I was last slobbered on by humping rejects from animal farm.

Well I still felt used, I had morals you know, some where.

“Why Dael, do you really think I have the time to just spy on little ol' you?” He smoothly asked, staring at me with those ever changing eyes. I frowned, well why wouldnt he have the time?

What was wrong with me? Better thought, why did I care.

“Well you are Satan. Lord of sin and all of that.” Was all I could mutter under my breath, glaring at him with hatred.

He grinned. “My dear boy I only did it once, and you werent doing anything dirty at that time. Trust me.” He purred, resting his hand on my arm. I shuddered, flincing away. Did I mention Satan was really really warm?

Oh yea, the whole brimstone thing again, stupid demons.

Wait, he did say the time he saw me I wasnt doing anything dirty, but did this mean he saw me when I was doing something dirty?

My head was starting to hurt, and I groaned, holding my hands over my eyes for a moment as I counted to ten. It didnt work. I tried again, only to realize he was still there, smiling like the prick he was. I finally growled, glaring at him with all the hatred I could muster.

“You...you! If you take anything or ruin anything I-I...I'll do something!” I snarled as I turned my heels, heading towards my bedroom.

“And where are you going my dear angel?” He called after me, grinning from ear to ear I was upset to see, when I turned back just enough to eye him.

“Im taking a damn shower!” I yelled, and enjoyed slamming the bathroom door behind me. Ha, let him see if he could see me naked now. I cringed, realizing he probably could if he wanted. With that thought In mind, I opened the door, peeking out to see him in my bedside mirror, which was set in a way that I could see the hallway, and him.

He was still standing there, that fucking sarcastic smile on his face.

“Stay in the damn living room!”

I slammed the door again, ignoring his laughter. Or trying to.

Peeling out of clothes that were soaked in far to many liquids was not very easy, but I managed, my coat basically falling to tatters to the ground. I wouldnt cry over it, I wasnt THAT bad, but I was close. I did like that coat, a lot. I sighed, watching it for a moment, as if willing life into it. Nothing happened, and I peeled off my shirt and pants, kicking them to the ground, soon followed by the rest of my clothes.

I can assure you, I did not look at the scar on my ass, even if It didnt mean anything.

Grubby, sticky and smelling like well...like something I didnt want to remember, turning on the tap for the shower was harder then I thought. I managed, much to my hatred when a spray of not hot water, but cold poured onto my back. Biting off a yelp of pain I quickly fixed it, wondering why it wouldnt just automatically be boiling. I mean I did have Satan in my apartment. Wasn't there rules about this sort of thing?

This was one of the rare times I could gladly say it was better that I was a bit vain. All the shampoos and conditioners and soaps I had, HAD to be used to get out the stuff. It took me a half an hour at best before I called myself clean, and by then I was red from soaping so much, I must have taken off a few layers of skin as well as the dirt.

Good, then I couldnt get infected.

Gingerly stepping onto the fuzzy bathroom carpet I wrapped a towel around my waist, using the second to scrub at my hair. I glared at myself in the mirror, not appreciating the bruise here and there that would be healed by tommorow, the red skin showing a few scars that never did heal.

Not including the one on my ass, never looked there.

I figured that Satan, being who he is, must have seen a few scantily clad people in his time. So I guessed he wouldnt have minded me walking in on him in the living room. Anyway all my clothes were in the bedroom, so I had to come out of the bathroom sooner or later.

I didnt want to, but I had to.

Back straight, shoulders arched and head held high I went out of the bathroom, only to find that I couldnt see the othe rman from where I was. Fine, perhaps he was sitting on one of the farther chairs, or he had left. Why did that make me feel so...odd?

Shaking my head at my foolishness I quickly slipped into a pair of slacks and a dress shirt, not even bothering to button it up as I padded into the living room.

“Took you long enough. They should kill you then rebirth you as the angel of vainity.”

I whirled around, and glared at the white clad figure sitted in yes, the farther corner of my living room.

“They should kill you and rebirth you as a doorstop. Why are you still here?”

He grinned, fingering the hat in his lap.

“Why my dear angel, to give you you're reward.” His smooth crisp voice made me want to smack him.

“I never...”

Wait, reward? Hmm...this cound be interesting.