Fill My Little World

Prologue

I’m a contradiction.

I know this, though I've never been told it.

It’s one of those things you don’t need people to tell you because you know they won’t see it, but you do, because it defines you, because you were born with it, because it’s always there.

You’re never really certain about anything; your heart never stops wavering, you never stop questioning things.

You’re like the Alice who still needs to find her Wonderland.

And though you know it, you like to pretend that you have solid opinions, just like everybody else. You never do.

But you’re such a good liar, with twinkling eyes and bright smiles that fool everyone.

Lying is no longer just your bad habit; it’s the way you live, the way you survive. And yet, sometimes, there are truths in your lies. That’s how much of a contradiction you are.

It's not even the glamorous 'personality trait' that people make it to be; it's ugly, it's raw and it’s every-freaking-little bit real. It leaves you wondering why no one has called the mental clinic down your road to pick you up yet.

Your soul is full of conflict and there’s no cure for this (you’ve searched). And sometimes, you don’t even know what 'this' is: is it really something as simple as contradictions or is it more?

You tend to hate it for its complexity, but then again you love it because it makes you unique; it makes you feel special.

It makes you ‘You’. And that makes you so cliché.

I’m a contradiction.

It’s the only thing I’ve ever been sure of in my entire life.

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A/N: For the Official Fiction Ficathon (link in my profile!). I'm so nervous about this story, because I'm trying out a different style and it's slightly more serious than my other stories and I've put quite a bit of 'me' into it (not to say that the characters are me...more like the story contains a bit of my own opinions, questions and thoughts).

So, I'm really nervous.

Challenge #: 26
Genre: Romance/Drama
Rating: Any
Likes: Something grounded in real-life situations/characters, with a compelling (and preferably subtle) romantic thread. Emphasis on simple but important moments (instead of a complicated action plot). Lots and lots of dialogue (but not filler!), interactions driven by character flaws, tension tension tension. 'Things that can't be said.' Small moments, small touches.
Dislikes: Use of the words "eyes," "love," "heart," "stars," "tears." Online romances, classroom settings. Cliches, stereotypes. Too much sap, cutesiness, or description of character appearances. Overly angsty/melodramatic characters. Purple prose.
Words/phrases to use: "...quietly through my fingers..." "...where you can't figure out if you're lucky, or if..." "We hook thumbs."