So I had a fight with my parents about the existence of "God." And then this happened. It kind of starts as a rant, but then other stuff happens.

Excuse the language. Or don't, I don't care.

And now, without further ado, my rant:

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Why the World Is Fucked up (I'm centering it because that's how titles are supposed to be.), by Everything that Fueled my Hatred

To my parents: You still will not understand even if you do listen, simply because you already think you understand. Being sure that you understand prevents you from further consideration. Stop thinking you know me "better than you think we do," and stop thinking that you have me all figured out. I am not just the black sheep. My reason and my thoughts and my disagreement cannot not just be attributed my difference. I have no wish to be different. I just question what you think I shouldn't. Fuck you if you can't understand even THAT. Why don't you take a day, and ask yourself some things. What makes you believe in Christianity? Don't be so quick to say, "faith." What makes Judaism wrong? What makes the ancient Greek gods false? What disproves the ideas of Mohammad? Are they misguided, in your eyes? Do you think that followers of different religions are deluded? Did you ever consider the possibility that maybe you are? Don't be so quick to judge.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm deluded, too, just because I am so sure that there is no god. Maybe I am not considering. But I think that, in respect to Christianity, at least, I considered for several years and came to this conclusion.

I think that religion was invented to comfort those who were upset by wrongdoing. They wanted to think that even if they had no justice now, one day everyone would have what they deserved. Or, maybe, they wanted to think that their lives on Earth were not in vain, so they decided that all actions contributed to a greater good, that the way they lived this life determined the next one, whether it be an Egyptian afterlife, Hindu reincarnation, or a Christian heaven (why don't they capitalize that? I always thought that something that was considered that important would at least be capitalized). If you look at another religion from a biased point of view, it seems silly. Say you believe that Jesus is the Son of God and all that. Reading the teachings of Mohammad makes you think that he was wrong, or misguided, or crazy. Right? Give up all religion for a minute and look at the teachings of Jesus. It's the same. It's all the same. Looking at Jesus from an unbiased POV, HE looks crazy, too. Go figure.

Another thing. Christianity and Hinduism (and plenty others) sound like a government invention. Final judgement and karma (I think that "judgement" looks so much better with that first "e," but that is hardly the point, of course). Be good during your life on Earth. Let people be cruel, let them hurt you. Do nothing. Be good. Turn the other cheek. Because you will go to hell, or you will be reincarnated as a "lower" life form. Sounds like an excuse to take advantage of the masses to me. Get everyone to accept and overlook your corruption because they think that you will be punished after you die. And yet, we still have laws. We still punish people ourselves. To keep order, yes. To keep the human race from being totally corrupted, from dying out completely. But, if we judge (what we consider to be) "wrongdoing," are we not expressing some amount of doubt of a higher power? Are we not saying that we have to take matters into our own hands because we are not sure that they will REALLY be punished? I think, then, that even the most devout believers doubt. And Pat Robertson can just go to the proverbial hell (ha, ha). And that brings us to the subject of government. Good? Well, I really don't know what I think. The world would probably be an even more scary place in which to live without check. And, no matter what, power DOES corrupt. That's a given. So, I guess we're choosing between the lesser of several evils? Who knows. I think that just further credits the idea that we are all in a rat race. I remember reading a quote that goes something to the effect of: "The thing about the rat race is even if you win, you are still a rat." I think that sums it up. I used to read that quote and laugh. Now I realize how true it is. Even if you are fully aware of the "rat race" complex and do your best to get out of it and lead a non-inhibiting, fulfilling life, or whatever, the fact that you are trying to avoid the rat race says that you are a slave to it, you know? I guess that we should not go with or against something, but just be, and go only how we want to go. But, oh, man, do I digress. None of this last paragraph is the point. Actually, screw points, because my frustration with the way the world works means I acknowledge it and am a slave to it, right? So the solution is to not care! But if you do it that way, then the people that do care go and fuck it up anyway. So we're all caught in an enormous, intricate BUT MEANINGLESS web, and there is absolutely NOTHING that anyone can do about it, no matter what. That's pretty depressing, to the point where I kind of want to kill myself. But doing that would be giving in, yes? So maybe it's actually easier, in the end, to care about what happens and what you do and how you can Save The World, even though it will mean nothing, because WE mean nothing. Maybe I deserve to suffer through this crap we call a life. Yeah, I probably do. But, then again, if nothing means anything, is there really even good or bad? Does "sin" mean anything? Of course it does, because we have emotions, and things upset us or make us happy. But it doesn't really matter; there is no greater good. It's just easier to do things that make your life more pleasant because you can feel pain. Just go through the paces, because it's not worth struggling.

I think that, once one realizes that there is no point to life, one enters a state of depression. Then one realizes that there is nothing that can be done at all, and the intense cynicism and resentment set in. Enter resignation. You resign yourself to your fate and end up not committing suicide like you wanted to, because it doesn't prove anything. It really doesn't. So you keep going through the cycle, and it sucks. Does anyone get what I am saying here? We're all fucked. And it doesn't even matter.