r0mch3ck 3rr0r-------by Bryce Duzan

I am Link, defender of Hyrule. It is my destiny to slay the evil Ganon, rescue the beautiful princess Zelda, and restore peace to the land. I must also reclaim the missing piece of the powerful Triforce. This is my quest.

People barely notice me as I pass through the busy market square. I glide past the merchants and townspeople, nimbly dodging moving bodies. Finally, I arrive at the town gate, and exit to the outside world.

I know my destination: Ganon’s lair. I wander through the wilderness, my senses alert for any dangers that the forest may hold. My ears perk at the sound of a twig snapping. In a flash, I draw my sword and swing it. A Moblin falls to the ground, dead. I scan the darkness around me, and seeing nothing, sheathe my sword and continue on.

After traveling for what seems like hours and fighting more Moblins, I finally come to the place I’m looking for. The cave is carved into the shape of a skull, with its gaping maw as the entrance. I take one last look behind me, take a breath, and step inside.

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I am Link, defender of Hyrule. It is my destiny to slay the evil Ganon, rescue the beautiful princess Zelda, and restore peace to the land. I must also reclaim the missing piece of the powerful Triforce. This is my quest.

As I walk through the market square, I notice that not a single person shares it with me. It is devoid of all life save my own. Poor people, I think to myself. Their fear of Ganon is so great that they cannot even step outside. I walk to the gate, brace myself, and step outside.

I know my destination: Ganon’s lair. I know the way, as if I’ve been there a hundred times before. The image of that place is burned into my memory, though I know for sure that I’ve never been even remotely close to that place. I tread forward, my destiny set, my blade at the ready.

The trip is largely uneventful, and I arrive in what seems like minutes. I look behind me and see the castle far on the horizon. What seemed to me like minutes must have been hours…but how? I shake off this feeling, and turn my attention to the horrible dungeon entrance. It’s just as I have pictured it, the cave carved into the shape of a skull, with its gaping maw as the entrance. I step inside, ready for anything.

Inside, the dungeon is built like a castle! The walls are covered in metal and are formed to make rooms like that in a building above-ground. I find that the craftsmanship is amazing, but I have no time to stop. The princess is close, as well as Ganon himself. I must press on.

After battling hideous creatures and dodging deadly traps, I have arrived. Before me is a grand door that I know leads to Ganon, Zelda, and the Triforce. These three things are the culmination of all of my adventures. I know that it will all end here. I put my hand to the door, and push it open.

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I am Link, and Ganon must die.

I walk into the market square, blade drawn. Bodies litter the ground. Men, women, children, the forces of Ganon didn’t care who they killed. The sky was an awful deep red, like the color of fresh blood. I knew what I had to do.

As I continued on, I saw some remaining Moblins left from Ganon’s raiding party. I would let them feel my rage. I charged them as they stared at me confused. I stabbed the first in the throat and it fell to the ground, choking on its own blood. The second’s head I sliced clean off with a deft blow from my sword. I used my sword to pierce the heart of the third. As I did so, it cried out. Its screams were so…human? The sound…unsettled me. I brought down my sword between its eyes, ending the sound and its life.

I ran through the forest, my mind set on what I must do. Within seconds, I was at the dungeon’s mouth. I ran in the entrance and down the winding staircase for what must have been five minutes or more. Finally, I arrived.

In front of me there was a simple metal door. Beyond, I knew Ganon lie in wait. Today was the end of his tyranny. I kicked the door open.

Inside, Ganon stood. He was as fearsome as I could have ever dreamed. I lunged forward, stabbing the pig-king in the stomach. He shrieked (butitsoundslikeawoman?) but didn’t fall. I reared back, and with the mightiest blow I could muster, I sundered his head from his shoulders. It fell to the ground with a sickening thud, and his body soon followed suit. I…I was victorious? I couldn’t believe it! Ganon’s reign was finally over! I would be heralded as a hero for the rest of all time! I quickly grabbed Ganon’s head and held high…the Triforce.

I am Li-JFKLEAFJEKIAFEJISFJELAFIJISLNOOOOOOOOOOOO……………………