Time to do my part, eh? You couldn’t have chosen a stranger person…

In relation to aka Providence’s porn spiel, I tend to do my best writing when I’m looking at it online and there are other people in the house. No joke. I’ll open up my internet, then open up Word and my main story. Then I’ll go back to porn. If someone nears me, I just click open Word and get to work until they leave. One time I got two pages done. It’s nuts what situations like that can do to your work ethic.

I have a weird situation from my earlier childhood—two in fact, and they both happened in quick succession; one the first day, one the next.

So…

I was perhaps seven…or six. What’s the difference? Anyway, me, two of my friends, and my sister tended to hand out in this abandoned section of a car lot. They were my age. It was fun, we could throw rocks and stuff…anyway, one time we found a can of spray paint.

Of course, I had the first bright idea. “Let’s throw rocks at it and make it blow up!” Sounds fun, right? Admit it—even at this age it would be fun.

So, we stand, like, ten feet away from it and commence the chucking of the rocks. We used medium sized ones, and we hit it maybe one time out of twenty, and even then it made no difference. Finally, my sister got annoyed and walked up to the can, hefting a big slab of concrete over her head.

What I should have done was yelled, “No!” What I did do was sit back and watch, along with my buddies.

My sister dropped the slab onto the can, and BAM! The thing exploded and blasted her with spray paint—no shrapnel, luckily. Guess what color she was. ::sniggers:: Orange. The first words out of my mouth were, “Oompa-Loompa!”

My grandma was pissed (she wasbabysitting us at the time). I just kind of shrugged that whole thing off.

Now, you’d think I’d have learned my rock-throwing lesson by then, but no.

Around that time a new person had moved onto our street, by the name of Becky. She was one of those ‘bad influences’ we hear about so much. She often blackmailed us when we did stupid shit, but on this one she actually joined in.

Disclaimer: It was her idea.

Anywho…

I used to live in a house which had my neighbor’s shed behind it, a bit to the left. It was also in front of the empty car lot; a weak fence separated the two. Anyway, me, my sister, and Becky were in the lot when we saw the shed. Becky says, “Let’s throw rocks at it.”

I think that sounds great. Go figure.

So, we do. We fire off at least thirty and nail the roof just as many timestogether before my neighbor hears us and shouts, “What the fuck!?”

At that point, Becky split so damn fast I didn’t even see her leave, but when I looked, she was gone. The siblings were busted, and Becky never got any of the blame. Whore.

That’s my bit. I assure you, I’m not like I was when I was a kid. I’m worse. ::shrugs:: See ya on the next page!