untitled (big girl now)
by lena

sunspring days mellowing in the glade
the glaze of junesweet perspiration dripdropping from lips
stained rainbow hues of popsicle delights
solar gaze haze around my eyes
moondripped dewdrops reflect flashlight spotlight
backyard joys and the blood of family strong in our veins
the game cuts the night and it bleeds starlight with our laughter
and they may find me, and they may not
i have always been good at hiding
schoolyard playground practice for the real world years in acceleration
even though we did not realize it
go go pink ranger because tommy is not nearly as cute as kimberly
and when they hug it is not his arms i see strength in
green-tinted morning light stained by curtains on saturday morning amphitheatre
cartoons were worth getting up early for
grandma knew the right words, touches, sacrifices to see me through
that childhood age hazed sun moon star in my mind now because celestial bodies
and memories have a lot in common
as distant as the light-years are long
and i am a big girl now, she does not always know the
instinctual way to the healing path
we are on even turf—the black plague of time passing gets to us both
we try to hold memories in our hands, so much stardust
the constellations flood their riverbanks with the memories
hold it in your hand, a firefly’s fluttering wings glowing green
make a wish and let it fly away, let it go
lightning bug-quick, starspeed fast, timebeat slow like toothloss mouthache
because you just can’t go back.