Help Me

I'm drowning in frustrations
And I can't find relief
Not in friends, not in family
Why can't this pain cease?
I'm locked in a cage
Of my own selfishness
I'm living I'm dying,
A part of me longs for death's kiss

I'm living on but can't move on
Why can't I feel at peace?
Why can't I find the place
Where I used to feel at ease?
I can't live anymore
Like the child I used to be
No longer can I love
Without a reason to love me

It's always ME ME ME!
Can I feel no shame?
Can I not let go
And just let the healing rain?
Why can't I accept help?
Why not admit my wrongs?
Where is the love unfailing
That I used to have - for which I long?

I feel hate!
For myself and for them
From where does this feeling come?
Will I always succumb?

Not yet! I can't give in!
I don't want this for myself!
I have yet to live my life!
I know someday I'll find some help!
And yet I already have
But why can't I accept?
All I have to do is let go
So light is all that's left

Why is it so hard?
I thought it would be easy
Just look to Him, let worries cease
And then He will free me
What is it about this place,
This world of sick pleasures
That burns so much with pain
That draws me, that calls me, that makes me feel so dazed?
It is so pleasing to the eye,
But it brings only sorrows
How can I live like this?
How can I face tomorrow?

Someone help me!
Help me let go!
Help me take this hand,
Let the tiny spark grow!
The winds of greed, of the selfish me -
I can't believe it'll blow forever!
So help, dear God, help me!
It's either now or never