Raspberry Vodka

It’s the raspberry vodka
just s l i d ing down my throat darling,
that makes me lovehatehatelove you.
and the drums are splitting open the silence, was it ever?
The clicking,
The clapping,
The cheering
its all soloud.

The thinking’s not what I’m doing so well now
and the raspberry tingling is distracting everything.
What did you just say?

It’s all spinning, and I’m-
falling?
no,
-hating, the way you make me feel.
Oh, they just finished playing sweetheart.
Why don’t I leave?
Another? oh no, I couldn’t…
I feel so foul.

Shh, I’m in disguise darling.
Can you sseee me?
No, don’t- don’t, drink that,
No, its not mine.
Its not yours.
It is yours?
Oh… no, don’t drink it.
Why?
I don’t remember. But it was…
No, no…
Put it down.
God, I remember now.

Drinking was supposed to hurt me honey…
It was supposed to make me feel better about you…

Hit and run baby.
But you just had to offer me that
one
drink.
I hatelovelovehate drinking,
and now its
your
fault
I’m
doing it
because I-
I think I-
l
o
v
e
d
you,
but I don’t remember.

The million dollars in my pocket makes me feel like -

(I can still taste the raspberry,
and I want to -)

-throw(ing) up.

a/n- hey! Yeah, its a little strange, I know. I'm really curious to see what people thought this poem was about though, so yeah, please tell me what you think. Thankyou!