unwanted

equals

hated.

ignored…

means a similar thing

shining eyes

hopeful…

beguiling

never seen

stares at mirror

blanks

memories

what are they?

they are

gone.

claw at eyes

healing cuts

scars to stay

this

is

madness.

school

the hated

the feared

atychiphobia

the medications

don’t

work.

I fly

too fast

missing so much

failing

skip school

virus

equals

blanks

…equals

Slipping

Everywhere

I look

Zooming into what is

Unclear

Racing to find

Everything, while

Shying away

from what is true.

a pretence that it

doesn’t exist, ever

the imagined

the unreal

the messed up;

confused.

the ruined, wasted life

irredeemable

the illness

I can’t accept

the hidden

the untruths

the lack of veracity

to authority

the lack of physical pain

the loss of blood

the –

magnetic

resonance

imaging

the past

the math test

I stuffed up

a year ago.

the foreshadow

what is to come

I’m

still

slipping

asphyxiating

from pain

hopelessness

I choose to drown.