A/N:

Hi, this is MC, bringing you my first-ever weird angst thing adapted for radio. Hahaha. Well anyway, this would be fun to perform with the right sound effects and good actors. This is directly a short fantasy from my life; I didn’t even bother to change the names, so enjoy the gossip. It’s set a few years in the future though, and I’m a school year higher in here than I am really, but other than that it’s what OUGHT to happen, LOL. Enjoy. Oh, a word about the song choices: Those are totally my choice, those are switch-out fodder. Yeah. So don’t get mad. Ha.

MC

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Key for “CLICK”:

(( Sound effect, or noted pause ))

Character name

(Emotion for line)

Line

Narrator

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(( Background music starts in very strong. The suggested song is “Killing Lights” by AFI. Music fades down to near nothing, steps are heard, the sound of someone falling onto a bed and a girl’s sigh. Pause.))

(( Telephone rings. Receiver picked up.))

MC: (Flatly)

Hello?

Ricardo: (Skeptical)

MC?

MC: (Still flat)

Hey Ricardo.

Ricardo: (Concerned)

Anything wrong?

MC: (Bitter, sarcastic)

Let's start with what's NOT wrong, that might be faster.

Ricardo: (As though he’s done this before)

OK let me guess. What's today?

MC: (Monotone)

February 14th.

Ricardo: (Coaxing)

And that is...?

MC: (Sigh, monotone)

Valentine's Day.

Ricardo: (Sympathy)

And you hate it because...?

MC: (Admitting it)

It's V-Day. And it's the day...

Ricardo: (Finishes)

Alan found out you liked him. It’s been two years. He’s back in contact with me, hell he’s two dorms down. Come on. Let’s not let this get to us.

MC: (Cheering up, changes subject )

Correct as usual, my newly freshman friend. How's college?

Ricardo: (Jovial)

Awesome so far, Miss New Senior. It’s nothing like High School, where you’re stuck, haha. My art teacher is really cool.

MC: (Happy)

Would he let me sit in class with you, oh drawer of the infamous abstract haystack that kept myself, you, and the Alan one entertained endlessly for a semester?

Ricardo: (Joking)

Hahaha. Curse that haystack. And I think SHE would.

MC: (As though planning)

Ffff. Awesome then. I'll come over, see your dorm, meet your roomie... Damone, wasn't it?

Ricardo: (Noncommittal)

Yup.

MC: (Skeptical)

How's SHE working out for you?

Ricardo: (Neutral)

She's cool. Her friends are all queens, though. You should feel right at home.

MC: (Amused)

Hahahaha! What am I, fly paper for gay guys?

Ricardo: (Trying to keep it light)

It would seem so. Haha. On a totally unrelated subject, did you hear from Alan?

MC: (Also trying to be casual)

No. Just Darren Keller pretending to be him.

Ricardo: (Surprise, anger)

That fucker! I'll kill him!

MC: (Reassuring)

Nooooo, don't. I just beat on him at school and everything's OK again.

Ricardo: (Concerned)

Are you sure?

MC: (Slightly amused)

I guess. He pretended to be you.

Ricardo: (Surprise, amusement)

Oh no way.

MC: (Very amused)

Yes way! He had me fooled, too, until he asked me if I'd ever kissed you.

Ricardo: (Amused disbelief)

Are you serious?

MC: (Very amused)

Yeah!

Ricardo: (Entertained)

HAHAHA! What'd you say?

MC: (Reciting, amused)

I said no. Duhhhh. Then I said, "And Darren, if you're jealous, say so and I might kiss you. It'd be worth, oh let's see, Warped Tour tickets and a new pair of black-and-white checkered Vans slip-ons."

Ricardo: (Expectant)

Hahaha. What'd he do???

MC: (Deadpan)

Took me to a show and bought me shoes.

Ricardo: (Shocked)

You're kidding.

MC: (Joking)

Duh. Haha!

Ricardo: (Happy)

Hahahaha! I have to go, I have advanced calculus in about 15 minutes.

MC: (Proud)

Go get 'em, buddy.

Ricardo: (Reluctant)

See you, MC.

MC: (Happy)

Bye!

(( Receiver down. Click. ))

(( Pause. Pause. Pause. ))

(( Ring. ))

MC: (Happily)

Hello?

Alan: (Uncertain)

Hi, may I speak to MC please?

MC: (Confident, happy)

Ya got her, superstar, may I ask who I'm yakking at?

Alan: (Relieved, laughs)

MC, its Alan.

MC: (Shock)

W-what?

Alan: (Remnants of relief)

It's me.

MC: (Irked)

Darren, that's not funny, I asked you not to do this anymore.

Alan: (Confused)

What? But I--

MC: (Anger)

I TOLD you Darren, it's not funny. When Alan left it fucked me up so bad I had a paranoid complex for six months and STILL cry at every fucking song that makes me think of him, and this is TWO YEARS LATER. STOP IT. You can't mess with me just because you don't believe in love, so fuck off or apologize and I might go with you to whatever show you have tickets to.

Alan: (Confusion, apologetic)

... MC. It's really me.

MC: (Anger)

Fuck you, Darren.

(( Receiver down. Slam.))

(( Pause. ))

(( Ring. ))

MC: (Annoyed)

HELLO.

Alan: (Patiently)

MC.

MC: (Annoyance)

DAR. I'll kill you.

Alan: (Slight panic)

It's not Darren, it's ME. I swear.

MC: (No belief, annoyed)

Fuck youuuu. Prove it.

(( Pause.))

MC: (Triumphant, annoyed)

That's what I thought.

Alan: (Slowly, with certainty)

... Abstract haystack.

MC: (Shock, apology)

... OHMYGOD. Alan. It is you. Oh my god. I'm sorry! Darren's been prank-calling me pretending to be you and Ricardo for a few weeks now, it makes me so mad, I'm so SORRY oh my god.

Alan: (Relieved, a bit amused)

Laugh That's OK. I was just worried I wouldn't be able to convince you there for a second.

MC: (Sheepish)

Oh... yeah. Heh. Sorry I yelled at you...

Alan: (Coming up to a subject)

That's OK! I mean, WHAT you yelled was a little... weird.

MC: (Jokingly sounds injured)

Butbut... That's what I always yell at Darren. The total honest truth.

Alan: (Serious)

That was not the total honest truth, I think. That was you making a jerk feel bad.

MC: (Still trying to joke)

The fact that it makes Darren feel bad is a fringe benefit. You don't believe me?

Alan: (Serious, getting into a groove)

... Six months? You? You were always the one who was like, 'Get over it already'.

MC: (Getting serious)

Do you think I said that because I get over things fast? Nooo. I said it because I know how it feels to break down and people who CAN get out of it, SHOULD.

Alan: (Sighs, sad and slightly annoyed)

... MC. You don't have to do this.

MC: (Confused)

Do what?

Alan: (Matter-of-fact, yet defeated)

Say that you love me. To keep me from cutting.

MC: (SHOCKED)

WHAT???

Alan: (Trying to sound understanding, mostly sounding sad)

I figured it out. You thought that maybe if I knew someone loved me I wouldn't feel the need to cut. Truth is, I believed it at first and now I have the self-confidence not to do it anymore. I completely understand now.

MC: (As though about to cry)

Sorry to be repetitive, Alan, but fuck you.

Alan: (Confusion, surprise)

... Excuse me?

MC: (Anger, despair)

You heard me! FUCK YOU.

Alan: (Confusion)

What? I don't get it.

MC: (Frustration, bitterness)

Oh you don't? Smart boy like you, and you don't GET it? I don't BELIEVE you. Even after knowing you for that amount of time, you just have no clue about me, do you?

Alan: (Confused, sheepish)

Uhm...

MC: (Frustrated, pleading)

Oh my god. Please tell me you're joking. Tell me this was a bad joke. Don't make me say it.

Alan: (Concerned)

... Say what?

MC: (Forceful, voice cracks at the end)

Ohgod... Listen to me. I love you. I always loved you and if you can't deal with that fine. Tell me and I'll get out of your life. It's what you want and if that has nothing to do with me, fine, write me off but know NOW, IN THIS MOMENT, that I love you. With all my heart and soul, I just... I thought for so long that you were the only one for me. Now... oh, JUST when I manage to be OK with the fact that you're gone, here you are again... ((Quiet sob.))

Alan: (Surprise, apologetic)

... MC. I didn't know. Please don't cry.

MC: (Sulking)

Easy for you to say.

Alan: (Apology, guilt)

I know. I'm a jerk.

MC: (Trying to reassure)

Not that bad.

Alan: (Softly)

Yes I am. Look, can you be at the school in ten minutes?

MC: (Curious)

Yeah. Why?

Alan: (Still soft)

Cause I can.

MC: (Planning again)

Really? Where on campus?

Alan: (Poses question as though he had it waiting)

Where did we first meet?

MC: (Contemplating)

Well... the first time I ever saw you, you were in front of Brown's classroom...

Alan: (Incredulous)

You remember that?

MC: (Softly)

It's all I've had for the past two years. Memory snapshots. Short sound clips. You.

Alan: (Also soft)

Let's change that.

MC: (Sounds as though in slight shock, whispers)

OK.

Alan: (As though trying to give her strength)

I'll see you in ten, OK?

MC: (Same tone)

Ok. See you.

Alan: (Loving, soft)

Bye.

MC: (Whispers)

Bye.

(( Click. ))

(( Background music starts in strongly again. Suggested song here is “I’m With You”, by Avril Lavigne. It fades after the intro to nearly nothing. There are footsteps on concrete, two sets, which come to a stop at roughly the same time. ))

MC: (Reminiscent)

Here we are.

Alan: (Also reminiscent, a bit more sad)

Like it was yesterday.

MC: (Fascinated)

You're... so tall.

Alan: (Amusement, then worry)

Really. I was about to say that you got short, but my brain kinda stopped me. What happened to you, though? You're like... half of you. Did I give you an eating disorder too?

MC: (Pleased a bit)

Heh. No. That was just me not being hungry, ever, for about a year and a half and taking walks every time it rained, or the sky was gray like this.

Alan: (As though trying not to think out loud)

I did notice that. It rained a lot. I thought... nah, that's dumb...

MC: (Curious)

What? Tell me.

Alan: (Embarrassed)

You won't laugh?

MC: (Sincere)

I promise.

Alan: (Sheepish)

I thought, that every time it rained, one of us was crying.

MC: (Lovingly)

Ohhh. That's so... sweet. Wait. You cried?

Alan: (Embarrassed)

Uhm... yeah. Lots.

MC: (Equally awkward)

Me too.

Alan: (Guilt)

I'm sorry.

MC: (Also a certain amount of guilt)

So am I.

(( Pause. Pause. ))

Alan: (Uncertain)

So what do we do now?

MC: (Matter-of-fact)

I know what I want to do.

Alan: (Showing a slight misinterpretation)

What?

MC: (Deliberately furthering the insinuation)

I want to do something I've been thinking about for a year now.

Alan: (Joking)

And would this be the same thing I'm thinking?

MC: (Lightly, but serious end)

Maybe. I hope so. Tell me everything.

Alan: (Relief)

Let me have your hands… I... look, I'm sorry about what I said. Over the phone, and back then. It makes no sense to me when I look at it, because... well... I...

MC: (As though she’s said it a million times)

What? You can tell me. You can always tell me.

Alan: (Goes into thinking out loud almost, comes back to earth in last few sentences)

I... before I left the dorms about a week ago, Ricardo was talking to me. More like yelling at me. He was screeching about how I couldn't see how much I meant to you, about how he was fucking sick of seeing you in pain, and how he was going to kick my ass if I didn't decide what I felt. I didn't say anything, and he just left me sitting, right over there. My parents were taking me away in the morning, and I had nowhere to go but sit here and wait for one of them to find me. I don't know how long I was there. It was night when I got up and called my mom to pick me up. It was somewhere between there and the house that the numb kind of went away and I realized that no matter how hard I try, no matter how far I go, how fast I drive, or how deep I cut I can't outdistance my feelings. Not my sadness, not my pain, and especially not my anger. Somewhere between my old house and my new house, I realized that I also had happiness in there somewhere, and color, and... love. And that first day at school, I saw a girl that looked like you and I thought my heart stopped beating for a second. And in that second, I woke up. I knew who I loved, and I knew I had no way to get to her. And I'd finally lost my chance. I came back to California to go to college because I hoped someday I’d find her again… and here I am…

MC: (Serious at first, filters into joke)

Alan... I don't know what to say... other than, whoever this girl is...

Alan: (A little distressed)

MC. Please tell me that was a joke.

MC: (Reassuring, then serious)

I think it was, Alan. I... still don't know what to say.

Alan: (Trying to get an answer)

Say... what you feel. That's what you told me.

MC: (Seriously confused)

But... for the first time in my life, I'm not feeling anything in words at all.

Alan: (A bit amused)

So you're about as confused as I am?

MC: (Sheepish.)

More. Heh.

Alan: (Deliberate)

Can I maybe clear up the picture that much more for you?

MC: (She knows)

How?

Alan: (Loving, whispers last word)

Three words. I. Love. You.

(( Click of phone receiver, dial tone that fades. ))

Narration Voice:

The love we do not share

Is love beyond compare.

The instances we kiss

Are fantasies I miss.

I weave a world with words

And sad romance unheard.

This world a perfect place

That a CLICK!

Can soon erase.

(( End.))