CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

GOING DOWN IN FLAMES

The Cranes proceeded to pelt Walker with questions as he walked them to the dorms. He refused to say anything until they got there. The ambulance was driving out of the parking lot while they walked across to the dorms. Finally, they reached Seely and Aimee's room. The Cranes crowded in there and Walker closed the door behind them.

"Okay," he began, putting his hands up to quiet them. "I don't really know what happened. All I know is that Landon had a gun and he shot someone on the grounds. The person whom he shot is unidentified right now. We don't think he's a student, but we're not sure. I didn't see who it was, so I wasn't there to ID anyone. We're waiting to do a head count after everyone's where they're supposed to be."

The door opened and Aimee came into the room. She looked like she had been crying. There was an RC behind her.

"All accounted for, Walker?" she asked.

"No, we have one person missing, Shane Heaney," said Walker.

"Alright, I'll check around."

"Thank you."

Aimee came and sat on her bed next to Jo and Jordan.

"What's going on?" Aimee asked once the RC had closed the door again.

"Landon was the shooter," Walker explained.

Aimee put her hand to her mouth in shock.

"Where is he now, Walker?" Jo asked quietly.

"He ran into the forest. I'm about to go after him, as soon as I locate Shane."

"What about the police?" asked Seely. "Are they in there looking for him?"

"I got them to agree to let me go alone first," said Walker. "Luckily I know some local law enforcement here or they wouldn't. Alright, I gotta go see if I can get track down Shane. I probably won't be back. You guys all stay here with each other, lock the door, and only open it to your RC, Shane, or me. Got that?"

They all nodded, too scared to argue.

"Walker, be safe," said Seely as Walker walked out the door.

Walker smiled back at her. "I will."

Walker closed the door behind him and there were several minutes of stunned silence between the Cranes. They didn't even look at each other, each lost in their own thoughts.

Then, Jordan spoke. "I gave him the gun," he said in a voice so quiet that the Cranes barely heard him.

It was like the room exploded. Suddenly everyone was yelling and asking questions. Finally, Trip stood and yelled at everyone to be quiet. "Let him explain himself," he said when the noise had died down.

All eyes were on Jordan, impatiently waiting. "He came to me," Jordan began. "He asked me for it, knew I could get just about anything. I asked him why. He said he just wanted to feel safe. He swore he didn't plan to hurt anyone else or himself, and I believed him. I mean, none of you guys thought he was homicidal, right?"

They all shook their heads, except for Jo, who was deep in thought.

"I had no idea that he would do something like this," Jordan said, his voice dripping with guilt.

"Hey, none of us did, Man, " said Trip in a reassuring way.

"Walker's going to ask," said Alanna. "He's gonna ask us if we knew how Landon got the gun."

"I know," said Jordan. "Please, guys, don't rat on me. I need time to think. Please. I'm really sorry about this whole thing, I just need to deal with it on my own."

The Cranes nodded their consent. "We don't blame you," Trip added. "None of us would have ever thought that Landon was capable of something like this."

"That's not entirely true," said Jo. The Cranes all turned to her, expecting more. "I mean, I didn't think he would do this but I did know something...." Jo felt bad for letting out Landon's secret, but it seemed that in a situation like this, there was no room for secrets.

"What are you talking about?" Alanna asked.

"Landon told me something, something about his father. See, the fire his father was in, the one that burnt down his house and almost killed him, Landon told me that he started it."

Again the room burst into sound. Loud gasps and exclamations filled the crowded space.

"He said he had a lot of bad memories in that place," Jo said quickly, trying to stand up for Landon. "He didn't mean to hurt anyone. He doesn't even remember doing it!"

"That's what he told you," Alanna said accusingly.

"He had no reason to lie," argued Jo.

"Look, the truth of the matter is," said Trip, "that none of us knows what's going on here. I say we just sit and wait."

The silence that ensued seemed to be the Cranes way of agreeing with him.

A few minutes there was a knock on the door. "Its Walker," said the voice from the other side.

Seely went and unlocked the door, and Walker came in. "Where's Shane?" Jordan asked.

"We can't find him anywhere," said Walker. "Everyone else is accounted for and in the dorms, except for him. The other counselors are going to continue looking for him. I have to head out into the forest or the cops will take over. I just wanted to update you." Walker turned to leave. Just as the door was about to close, Aimee ran to it and grabbed the handle. Walker stuck his head back in the room.

"I told him," Aimee whispered to him so the others couldn't hear. "I told Shane."

Walker nodded. "Don't worry, Aimee. We'll find him." He closed the door and Aimee locked it.

Walker wandered the forest, now equipped with a gun and a bulletproof vest, both of which he tried to get out of using. But the cops said they would only let him go if he went with them, so Walker accepted it.

It didn't take long for Walker to pick up Landon's trail. Years upon years of experience working in the outdoors had taught him well. After about twenty minutes of steadily following Landon's path, Walker came upon a clearing about three miles into the school, where the students often had bonfires. There was a pit in the middle, surrounded by a bunch of logs for the students to sit on. Landon was sitting on one of these logs.

Walker approached him slowly, until he was standing behind one of the opposite logs. Landon glanced up at him, once, but then looked down at the gun that he still had in his hands.

"Can I sit?" Walker said calmly. He didn't want Landon to think that he was scared or angry, even though he was both.

"I don't care," said Landon in a rough voice.

So Walker sat on the log next to his. "Who was it that you shot? Another student?"

"No. It was my father."

Walker took a deep breath to keep from making any other reaction. He was not expecting that. "Shane was missing, I was worried," Walker admitted.

"I would never hurt any of them," said Landon. "They've been good to me. So have you."

"Well, Landon, your father is-."

"Don't," Landon cut Walker off. "Don't tell me his condition. Because honestly, at this point, I don't know what would be worse, whether he's dead and I killed him, or he's still alive and I didn't succeed...again."

"Again?"

"I tried once before to kill him," Landon explained in a dull voice. "The fire at my house."

"But why?"

"That doesn't matter." Landon had taken the tone he had had in Walker's office when talking about having slept with Jo. He now seemed completely disinterested and uncaring.

"Of course it matters," said Walker strongly. "Landon, you don't have to run."

"I don't want to go to prison."

"We can work this out if you'd just tell me why."

"Work this out?" Landon said, finally showing some emotion. He looked up at Walker for the first time, his eyes burning with hatred and anger. "Are you kidding? There's nothing to work out. I shot my dad, I'm going to prison."

"Landon, I know you," Walker argued. "You're not a murderer. What you did, you must have had a reason. Just tell me why you did it, and I'll help you."

"It doesn't matter! None of it matters! I'll go away no matter what."

"You had to have had a reasonable motive."

"Of course I do. But that doesn't matter."

"Why not?"

"Because no one will believe me!"

"Yes, they will. They will if you tell the truth."

Landon stood up, unable to contain his anger. "No! You can't say that! You don't know! No one will believe me. No one ever has, and no one ever will. My father is a decorated fireman. Our entire town loves him, the whole fucking state loves him. People owe him their lives! He was out there on nine eleven. He's a hero, and I'm just a druggie delinquent who, despite my father's best efforts, just has trouble in his blood. That's how its always been. It didn't matter...it never mattered how loud I screamed or how many people I told or how hard I cried. None of it mattered, and it still doesn't now." Landon sat back down again, still shaking with anger.

"I will believe you, Landon," said Walker. "You know I will. If you tell me happened, it happened. End of story, no questions. I will believe you. I swear it."

Landon didn't respond, and Walker didn't say anything else. They sat in silence for a long time. Walker didn't move a muscle, even when he started to get cramped. He didn't want to do anything to startle Landon, who appeared to be deep in thought.

"It started with my mom," Landon said suddenly, breaking the silence that had been going for over an hour.

"What did?" Walker asked.

"Everything. It didn't start with me. Before my mom died my dad never laid a hand on me. He was the best dad in the world back then, except for the fact that he used to torture my mom. She didn't have any friends. All she had was me. She wasn't allowed out of the house alone. She wasn't allowed to use the phone or go online or watch TV. She was trapped in that house. And when she disobeyed he'd chain her up in the basement for days at a time. He'd go down there to check on her and I just remember hearing her screaming. But the scariest part was when she would stop screaming. Because then I wouldn't even know if she was still alive. The day I found her in the bath tub, dead, I was happy for her. I thought at last she was free. I was so relieved. But then my dad turned on me. After that my anger towards her grew. I was so mad at her for abandoning me and leaving me alone there with him. Now, thinking back to it, I imagine the only reason she stayed as long as she did was because of me."

Landon paused. Walker didn't press him to go further. He sensed that he shouldn't say anything. This was Landon's story, his time, and he would say what he wanted when he was ready.

"It started off kinda slow," Landon continued after several minutes. "At first he'd just yell at m a lot. Then he started to knock me around. I was eight when he first chained me up in the basement. I'll never forget why. I had learned a swear word from my friend. My dad never swore and I was very sheltered growing up so I didn't really know what I was saying. I said it in front of him and he got so mad. But he didn't yell or hit me. He took me by the hand and he led me down the stairs. I'd never been in the basement before. I wasn't allowed. Curiosity probably would have gotten the better of most kids but I was terrified of it. He took me down there by the hand and I was surprised at how normal it seemed. The only thing out of place were the chains coming out from the wall. He latched the cuffs onto my wrists and ankles and then he left. I don't know how long I was down there. All I know was that it was cold and dark and scary. And when my dad finally let me out, the skin on my wrists and ankles were rubbed raw. I could barely move. He told me it was time to be a man, which meant no crying or complaining. And I didn't, at least not to him. I let it slip to my friends, who thought I was lying. And then I told a teacher once, and she thought I was insane. She thought I had gone crazy from going through the ordeal with my mom, finding her dead and everything. Eventually I learned that my dad was right. There was no reason to cry or complain, because nobody would listen."

Landon's attitude made a whole lot more sense now, Walker thought. If only he had been in Landon's life then. He would have listened. He would have saved Landon a lifetime of hurt and pain.

"For a long time I just tried everything I could to please him. I did my best to never piss him off. But he would always find a reason. The punishments started to get worse. He'd starve me, burn me, lock me in the basement for days at a time. When I entered high school, I started to get angry. I decided, why should I bend over backwards to please him if he was going to punish me either way? So I just started doing whatever the hell I wanted. I started telling people again. No one believed me, except for a couple of my friends who also had deadbeat dads who beat on them. We found refuge with each other. We disobeyed every rule put down in front of us. My dad started a new form of punishment. It was this small space underneath the floor of our basement. My dad put a lock on the trapdoor and he used to lock me up in there. That's why I started to become afraid of the dark, I think. It was like being buried alive. But the worst his punishments got, the more I rebelled. It was the only way I felt free. And I continued lying. Every time I went to the doctor I lied. When my dad hit me with his car, I told the police it was a hit and run. Everyone was fine believing that I was the crazy druggie son of the town hero, deranged by what my mother had done. And so I made it easier for them to believe, because it was easier for me that way. It was easier to accept if I went along with it."

Landon paused again. Walker was amazed at how calmly he was telling his story. But then again, he supposed after having endured all of that, he was probably numb to it.

"Anyway, this one day, I threw a party at the house. My dad came home early and I was sure he was going to kill me. So I ran. I had never run before because I knew if he found me he would kill me. This time I figured, I was dead either way. The next night I burned the house down. And them I came here, and I've been biding my time to see what happened with him. Because I knew that if he woke up, he was definitely going to kill me. He came tonight. I saw him on the grounds, asking the students if they knew where I was. He looked so weak, in no condition to be coming after me. But I was still terrified. So I took the gun and I went out there and I shot him."

"So what're you going to do now?" Walker asked. "Run again?"

Landon shrugged. "I don't want to go to prison."

"Landon, you need to tell your story. I can help you. We'll get a great lawyer. I'll go over all your medical records, get help from a doctor, prove you were being abused. I'll talk to your mother's relatives, your old school teachers, your friends, everyone. I don't care what it takes, I won't let you go down for this."

"My father is invincible, Walker," said Landon. "Whatever we do, he'll have an answer. He's smart, and he has everything on his side."

"If you run then you're sealing the deal for them, Landon. If they ever find you, the fact that your ran will look even guiltier."

"I am guilty. I shot him."

"But it was self defense. We can prove it. We'll beat him."

"We can't beat him. He's a hero."

"That doesn't matter! I'll help you, we can do this. There's no point in running, Landon."

Landon nodded. "You're right."

"So you're going to try and beat this?" Walker asked, stunned that he had gotten through to Landon so quickly.

"No," Landon said with a laugh. "I mean you're right, there's no point in running." Landon put the gun to his head.

"No! Landon!"

A shot rang out clear through the cold air for the second time that night.