"Re-Living"

Written By: Blk Sapphire

It seemed like she had everything going right for her. Bridget was a girl who had the looks even though she denied it on a consistent basis, the charm, the smarts, and thus she received any guy she wanted once her mind was put to it. Her jet black hair with those dark brown eyes made men turn their heads to stare - as well as at the athletic, yet very feminine figure she acquired. And yet, no one caught her attention more than a certain young man by the name of Paul. A man who was equally as good-looking as she, and nearly equally as clever in his own way. She was booksmart, and he was more street-smart, but they found chemistry. It was a perfect man-made match in heaven. Or was it really?

--

"Hey Paul!" Bridget skipped her way over to her companion. Everyone assumed they were a couple, but in all reality they weren't. Bridget hadn't known Paul for too long yet it was obvious to anyone she was strongly attracted to the six foot tall male-wonder. The one she called Paul turned around to face her. He had sea-blue eyes, and neatly cut sandy blonde hair - every girl seemed to have a crush on the upperclassman and was utterly jealous of the girl who was closest to him. "Hey Bridget", Paul said with a teasing, and quite cheesy French accent as he looked down at Bridget with a usual smile who he only directed toward the younger girl.

"What's going on?" asked the freshman girl while the two of them began walking their way down the halls, linking arms. "Eh, not much. I just have an exam next period and I don't think I'll do so hot on it," he replied. At this, Bridget glanced up at him reassuringly with one of her infamous smiles that said 'Don't worry, you'll do fine! I'm sure of it!' which made Paul to grin. When no one was looking the upperclassman reached down, and smacked her butt playfully causing Bridget to jump and blush furiously. "Paaaul..! Don't do that!" she said between a hiccup of giggles. "But you have such a cute butt!" This made Bridget flush horribly while she said under her breath, "And so do you...for a white guy." This made both of them laugh and when they had reached a more secluded end of the hall, Paul gently pushed Bridget toward a wall then scoped the area for anyone who may be passing by.

"What are you doing...?" Her voice shook as he leaned in closer with his hands on her hips. Because of him... because of him... I cheated on Jon... I broke Jon's heart because of Paul... but he's so irrestible... he's just so gorgeous... and charming...except... A quiet gasp while hands felt their way up sides, and lips were locked. Does he love me...? He has to if he pursued me so badly, and caused me to cheat on Jon... he has to...! "Mm...P-Paul...s-stop... I don't want... I don't want anyone to see..." said a girl. "Heh...sorry..." said a boy. The two of them parted and looked up the hall then down before proceeding to where they usually hung out to eat lunch.

It was a regular school-day for them afterwards.

At night Bridget's cellphone went off, and she hopped over her bed to answer it. It was Paul which made her to smile as she answered. "Hey there!" said Bridget in her usual cheerfulness. "Hey cutie," replied Paul. It was a usual day for them. Paul picking her up to take her to school, them having classes seperately but as soon as the bell rang for a break they were at the other's side, and after school he dropped her off at home and then the two talked all night long on the phone after they were done with homework or in his case, with working.

"How was work?"

"Tiring, and annoying. Some asshole came into the store today."

"Ugh, that sucks"

"Yeah! I mean...man-alive! He kept making such a big deal out of the tiniest things, and then when he didn't get his way he demanded to see the manager and started saying some crap about starting a lawsuit"

"What? Why?"

"All because he wasn't happy with the quality of the television he wanted... or rather the price."

"What a cheapo."

"Tell me about it. I'm surprised he didn't try to steal the T.V. since he was so unsatisified"

Their conversations usually started off in such a manner. Discussing school, friends, jobs, what was going on in their world today, but after most was said and done the conversations would get a little heated. "What are you talking about, Paul? You're freakin' gorgeous! I'm even lucky you look at me!" Bridget shrieked into the phone while she sat upright in bed, and rolled her eyes almost as if he could see her doing it. Paul laughed at the younger girl, and messed with the string of his shorts as he replied, "Silly girl. You're hot and you know it." "No, I'm not hot, shut up." He teased her some more which made her to blush before his voice changed a little, and she knew what was going on. It was practically routine now and at times she was into it... at others... she wanted to scream and pull away, nearly physically, too.

"I want to see them..."

"See what...?"

"Your breasts..."

"No, not really! They're nothing special. I mean, I'm not a flippin' D cup..."

"So what? I like 'em. Stop talking like I like girls with huge boobs. I'm a leg man, remember?"

"Yes yes, I know... but they're nothing special... So whatever..."

"They are... I really like them... I still can't believe you sent me those pictures... They're great."

At the mentioning of this Bridget froze, her breath caught in her throat. Her mind flashed back to that day of when she had been extremely aroused thinking about Paul in unlady-like manners during school, and how when she returned home she thought of showing him what he had been bugging her to show him. She figured since his eighteenth birthday was on the way, she'd be nice and take quite some revealing pictures of the body the boys craved at school, and him most of all. Maybe in the back of her mind she thought he'd admit to her that he loved her, and would elevate their "friends with benefits" relationship, but it only elevated the sexual desire on his end, and her quiet withdrawl. "...No they weren't...shut up. I told you to delete them..." she said quietly. "Why? No!! I don't want to, they're a gift from you!" he said with a pout, but at the same time with an authorative voice. She cringed and asked, "...You haven't shown them to anyone...have you...?" "I would never do that to you, Bridget, and you know that." Still, the girl didn't feel reassured.

The night went on with Bridget still feeling uneasy and their usual business being taken care of. She began to loathe a bit their phone sex conversations since right after every climax, he'd leave when she preferred him staying on the phone longer to sleep with her. It made Bridget realize how much of a toy she felt. Only being needed when he wanted her, and when he didn't, she was put on hold until he called for her again. She felt like a tramp and wondered if other people could see it, too.

I can't believe I hurt Jon to be made the toy of this guy...he could care less. All he wants is for me to give it to him when he wants it, and he won't even be my boyfriend! What's wrong with me...?

The following day at school Paul leaned in and kissed Bridget when no one was looking, but she pulled away. "What's wrong...? I had fun last night...and I slept well because of you," Paul said with a worried smile and look in his eyes. Bridget tried to smile back but she had a lot on her mind. "Oh" was her reply. "Bridget, what's wrong? Did I do something?"

"Paul...do you love me?" Bridget looked up at him with uncertain eyes, and he had seen that look before on her face. It reminded him of the night she doubted him, that night where she indirectly called him a monster and assosciated him with the man who had molested her a year and a half prior before he met her. It disturbed him to the core the next day when he saw that look in her eyes, and once again it bugged him. Her eyes said to him 'You're a monster...You're hurting me!'

"Paul..." Bridget tried to read his face, and he turned his back to her. "Bridget... look... I..." At this, she let out a small noise and he faced her to notice she had tears in her eyes. "Bridget, what do you want me to say? Y'know how I feel about you...! And y'know how hard it is for me to say those words..." The lowerclassman just shook her head at him, and left his side with swift steps. He acts like he does... He treats me like his girlfriend... but he won't admit how he feels! He won't ask me out, or anything! He just keeps playing me... using me until I'm no longer any good to him... He could care less! The bastard!He watched her walk off and felt like going after her, but he felt pinned down and didn't bother.

Their usual night conversation wasn't any better as it ended in tears, and more frustration. Bridget decided to call her ex-boyfriend Jon after she hung up with Paul, and almost seemed to regret it when he answered.

"Yo," said an all-too-familiar voice that in the past made Bridget feel safe. "Hey..." she replied. Jon in general was surprised she was calling him since she hardly ever and the conversation kicked off with her apologizing profusely to him.

"I'm sorry... for hurting you. I'm just so sorry. That's why I hardly talk to you because I remind myself everyday of what I did to you. It was unfair. He's an asshole, Jon. He can't even say he loves me even after all the hurt I caused you!" Bridget cried new tears while talking to him, and replayed her conversation with Paul to Jon. When she was done talking, he was enraged. "He made you cry! I swear I'm going to kill that jerk. Tch...and you still went for him anyways just because he was better looking then me..." Jon's voice sounded hurt with the last few words as he played with a razor. Bridget grew quiet and knew it was the truth. Paul was much more attractive then Jon, but Jon had a better heart then Paul it appeared. A heart of gold that she crushed. "I'm sorry..." was all she could manage to utter. "Forget about it... I forgive you...it's all in the past..." "How can you forgive me? I hurt you Jon! Not once, not twice, but three times! I cheated on you twice, and yet you still forgive me? Just say it, Jon! Just call me a slut, damnit! I'm a whore and you know it! I let that bastard David molest me and get away with it with the police, and now Paul obviously wants some part in the fun, too! And he's doing it!!"

"It's the choice you made..." Jon said quietly. "Yeah, and I hate the choice I made... I'm a slut... a little...slut...that everyone wants to fuck..." then with this, Bridget sobbed as Jon finally admitted it. "You know what? Fine. You are a slut, happy now?" And with that, he hung up. Her world was crumbling around her and she didn't know what to do. She felt as if she was re-living the past.

"...I'm a slut..."

I'll let him fuck me if he wants... it doesn't matter anymore if he loves me or not... I'm just his slave girl... and when he's tired of me...he'll rid himself of me...

A few months after, Paul and Bridget seemed to work out the kinks and they were known as the cutest couple at school. She was amazed that he finally asked her out after months of being his "Little Woman". She felt more secure, but at the same time she felt miserable because he asked her out so late. He was graduating in a few weeks.

She realized after sometime the relationship wasn't working for her in the least even though she had wanted it so badly in the beginning. So she tried to devise several plans to have him break up with her which of none worked. It wasn't until after their new two month anniversary during her summer vacation that she got a wonderous e-mail that began with "Sorry" from her. It was a nice update of his life up until at the end he apologized about all the awkward conversations they had been having lately over the phone because he was dating someone new. Bridget's heart sunk, and dripped in jealousy for awhile until she felt at peace and knew it was what she wanted, to be rid of the man who abused her. Who called her his little slave girl, and his little bitch every night over the phone while panting heavily, and while they were in dark corners in school or alone on weekends and he touched her when she really didn't want to be touched... She then realized...

"He still has the pictures..."

Fin.