Chapter One

Lily was sleeping peacefully on James’ shoulder as he listened to the news on the radio.

“Tonight’s news: Another Ministry Auror has gone missing. Dorcas Meadows, who graduated from Hogwarts several years ago, has not been seen for three days…”

“Lily, wake up. Lily,” James said, slightly panicked, “you need to hear to this.”

Lily got her head up slowly, throwing her shining red hair back. “What is it?”

“Listen,” James said quietly.

“Meadows was last seen three kilometers outside of Liverpool. Many Ministry officials fear the worst; however, her family and close friends are still hoping that she may still be alive, citing her great magical prowess…”

“Oh no,” Lily said. “Not Dorcas too…”

“You’ve developed a pessimism you never had at school, dear heart,” leaning over his wife to turn off the radio.

“What is there to be optimistic about?” Lily almost screamed. “Marlene McKinnon is dead. Amelia and her niece Susan are the only members of the Bones family left. Benjy Fenwick got blasted to pieces. The Prewett brothers, Caradoc…And there’s no sign of it ending. None. How much longer until they get Peter or Remus or Sirius? How much longer, James! How long?”

James looked out the window. “You don’t have to worry about Harry. Sirius would never crack.”

“You know that’s not an answer.”

“You know there’s no answer that would satisfy you right now.”

Lily was about to retort, but they both heard a knock on the door.

“Should we get it?” asked Lily.

“Why not? I have perfect faith in the Fidelius charm.”

“Oh…oh fine…” she shook her head. “I’ll go check on Harry.”

James went to go answer the door, but stopped right before opening it.

Knocking.

What if the Fidelius had been compromised?

Knocking.

What if Sirius really had given in?

Violent knocking.

James pulled out his wand and opened the door slowly.

And Sirius entered the living room and dodged the hex that James aimed at him.

“What the bloody hell was that for, Prongs?”

“Oh, nothing, Padfoot,” James replied sheepishly, trying to smile. “Just…I dunno. I don’t know how well a Leg-Locker curse would work against Voldemort, anyway…”

He could hear Lily clomping down the stairs, and he hung his head in shame.

“It’d be funny when it worked,” Sirius said. “Just because he’s close to omnipotence doesn’t mean a Leg-Locker wouldn’t take effect. Hello Lily.”

“Hello, Sirius,” she replied coolly. “My husband seems to have lost faith in the Fidelius charm, despite what he told me just before you came in. And with great conviction.”

“Lily…”

“James. You don’t have to be the outstanding pillar of strength. You’re allowed to tell me when you’re scared.”

“Don’t say it like that…”

“Then how am I supposed to say it?” she asked coldly. “Never mind. Sirius looks most uncomfortable. Sit down.”

“Thank you,” Sirius said. “I’m sorry I had to witness that.”

“It’s fine,” Lily said. “It’s not as if you haven’t seen it before.”

“Yes. But it never gets any better. Look. You’re wondering why I came. People don’t go wandering around at ten at night to talk to their best friends any more.”

“Isn’t that the truth,” James muttered.

“I heard about Dorcas on the wireless,” Sirius told them. “She’s dead. I’m sure of it. People don’t disappear for three days anymore either. And they don’t show up alive when they’re found.”

“But…Dorcas was a great witch,” James said. “More than a match for the Death Eaters.”

“But more than a match for Voldemort?” Sirius asked. “I’m willing to bet my bike she was killed by him personally.”

James took hold of Lily’s hand and squeezed it tight. “But you didn’t come here to talk about Dorcas. You could have told me that through the mirrors.”

“Having a kid hasn’t slowed you down any. I’m impressed.”

“Harry is not quite one yet. He’s not doing anything that’ll drive us mad,” Lily said. “He isn’t even—“

James cut her off and looked at Sirius coldly. “Spit it out, Padfoot.”

Sirius looked down. “You’ll think I’m a coward for saying this.”

With that, James’s heart sank. “You don’t want to be our Secret-Keeper anymore.”

“Yes. But James, no, that’s not how it is,” Sirius stumbled over his words, seeing the crestfallen looks on their faces. “But. Here’s the thing. If you look at the surviving members of the Order of the Phoenix, how many of them are comparable to the three of us in terms of talent and power?”

James counted off in his head. “If Dorcas is dead, then Dumbledore. Remus. And Mad- Eye Moody. Do you have anyone else in mind, Lil?”

Lily thought for a moment or two, and then said, “McGonagall.”

“Ah, yes.”

“So who is that, four people besides us?” Sirius asked. “And the Death Eaters and Voldemort wouldn’t attack Dumbledore. They’re still too scared. But the rest of us are fair game.”

“Maybe not Minerva,” Lily said. “She stays close to Hogwarts.”

“So that makes my point even more valid. When they realize they aren’t going to find you two, it’ll be down to Moody and Remus and myself,” Sirius said very quietly.

“So you want us to make Dumbledore our Secret-Keeper, then?” asked Lily.

“Or Moony?” James inquired.

“I was actually thinking about Peter,” Sirius said shortly.

“Ol’ Wormtail?” James said with questions in his voice and an eyebrow up in his tousled black hair.

“Peter Pettigrew instead of Dumbledore or Remus? Whatever for?” Lily asked, her eyebrows likewise raised in disbelief.

“Peter would never betray you two either. But they’ll come for me before they come for him. I’m sure of it,” Sirius declared. “You know it too. He loves the two of you.”

James looked half-convinced. But Lily still wanted to put up a fight. “James. Listen to me. If Sirius feels that we should change our Secret-Keeper, fine. I can perform the Fidelius charm again. But if we’re going to change our Secret-Keeper, then why don’t we change it to someone who we both know we can trust even farther than Peter? Someone with much more power and cleverness. James! Listen to me, damn you!”

But James did not. “Thanks for coming, Sirius. And thank you for your advice. We will change our Secret-Keeper.

“To Peter Pettigrew.”

Chapter Two

“I cannot believe you did that to me,” Lily said. “I simply can’t believe that you would just ignore me like you did downstairs. It was like being in fifth year. My good advice seems to fall on deaf ears, and you. You, forcing me to perform the charm on Peter—“

And with a horrible wet crack, James slapped Lily across the face. She fell to the floor as he continued to change into his pajamas, neither one of them saying anything. Until Lily lost it.

“You bastard,” she hissed. “You’re the same fucking bastard you were at Hogwarts.” James made to hit her again, but she had her wand out. “Give me another reason, Jamie-boy, and I swear I will.”

His hand went down, and her wand stayed up. “I swear it.”

James looked like he was about to say something, but at that moment, there was wailing and crying and screaming in the house. “I’ve got him,” James said quietly. “I’ll go deal with Harry.”

“Fine,” Lily said. But she didn’t put down her wand until James had left the room and she could hear him trying to calm down their baby. “What is it, kid? Ooh, I wish I hadn’t picked you up. Or made Mommy get you…stinky child…”

Lily fell into bed, sobbing into her pillows. She had had perfect faith in Sirius. But Peter? Wormtail? He was a nice guy. But she knew that if he was found by Voldemort and his Death Eaters, he would fall apart at the first Cruciatus curse. Or even if it were threatened upon him, the cowardly weakling. He wasn’t a Gryffindor. Of all the mistakes to make…why couldn’t he have been a Slytherin? And then James and Sirius would have cast him off.

Oh, James, why did you do that? Why didn’t you pick somebody completely safe instead of taking a risk? This isn’t Hogwarts, where you could take risks and come out of it with some points lost and a detention. This is real life, honey. And every risky choice you make could mean a life, whether it’s mine or yours or Harry’s.

And why didn’t I refuse when I knew I should have?

Chapter Three

“Morsmordre!”

It was one in the morning three days later, and the rain was starting to go away. James and Lily were where they always were, in the living room, on the sofa, watching some late night television. They had not forgotten about the slap. But they seemed to have reached a silent understanding about it. Their tranquility was broken by Harry crying.

“My turn, James,” Lily said, and she went upstairs to go fetch Harry.

James stayed downstairs, keeping watch. His paranoia was increasing just like Lily’s. The volume on the television was low, and their house was the only one on the street with any lights on. If they had looked a little harder, they would have realized all the streetlights were gone too. The street they lived on was completely dark.

James turned off the television and yawned, saying to himself, “Well, I’m tired now.” He turned to head up the stairs when he heard a cold, high voice hissed “Alohamora!”

James’s insides turned to ice. Voldemort was here. Peter had let them down. And he had let Lily down.

Oh, shit.

“Where are you, Potters?” Voldemort said. “Oh, you don’t need to be so afraid…I didn’t bring my Death Eaters with me tonight. Just the four of us. Just the four of us,” he said, his voice fading away.

And he knows about Harry. He’d kill Harry too.

The fear suddenly turned to rage inside James Potter, and screamed up to Lily, “He’s here, Lily! Get Harry and go! I’ll hold him off!”

“Oh, James,” Voldemort said, turning around. “It’s you. And it’s not even you I want. I’m just here for your son, James. I’ll leave you and your darling dearest alone tonight if you just give me your son.”

“I’ll hold him off, Lily! Locomotor Mortis!”

Voldemort dodged the Leg-Locker curse and looked up at James with amusement. “You would use that childish jinx against Lord Voldemort? I expected better of you, Potter! Crucio!”

The torture spell hit James, and his eyes instantly began to water with agony, but with a great shout, he cried “Expelliarmus!” Voldemort’s wand went flying, and James took the opportunity to strike “Impedimenta! Stupefy! Stupefy! Petrificus Totalus!” But all of the spells missed by inches, and destroyed things like the sofa and the coffee table and the television. And before James could throw another hex at him, Voldemort took back his wand and fired the Killing Curse at him. “Avada Kedavra!”

The fatal curse from Voldemort’s wand hit him, propelling him back into the wall. He was dead before he hit the floor.

“One down, Lily,” Voldemort called. “Come out, Lily. Come out to me.”

Why didn’t you get away when James told you to, Lily? Why? Your husband just died to save you and your son. And you didn’t even accept his “gift.” Damn you!

Voldemort was going from room to room and lighting them all on fire when he saw no Lily or Harry inside. Lily wasn’t afraid of the fire; that was what Flame Freezing charms were for. But it wasn’t going to help her. As Voldemort muttered his incantations of fire, Lily muttered hers of cold, hoping it would work as well as it was reputed.

“I’m tiring of this, Lily!” Voldemort screamed. “I’m done with this game of hide and seek!” And with that, he burst into the room which held her and Harry in its broken arms. Lily fought an urge to scream, put a crying Harry in the corner, and fired a curse at Voldemort. He dodged it effortlessly and roared above the sound of the flames, “Lily, I don’t need to kill you. All you have to do is move away from your son, and I’ll let you live.”

“Never!” she screamed, tears pouring down her face, voice cracking, but face resolute. “I won’t let you kill my son!”

“Avada Kedavra!” Voldemort answered as a reply, firing at Harry.

“Petrificus Totalus!” she screamed, placing the full body-bind curse on herself. The killing curse went straight to her heart, and she crumpled to the ground.

“Foolish girl,” Voldemort spat into her beautiful hair. “Dying…and leaving your son right there for me to kill.

“Avada Kedavra,” the Dark Lord whispered.

And the curse hit the still shrieking Harry in the forehead, and then, the unblockable curse was blocked and shooting back at Voldemort.

“No!” he cried, but the unforgivable curse that he had so often aimed at others had been aimed at him.

He, too, crumpled to the ground. Not dead. But next to nothing.

Chapter Four

Only minutes later, with the house burned to the ground, and with it, the bodies of James and Lily Potter, Sirius Black showed up at the charred ruins with his flying motorcycle. He dismounted, disbelieving. No. Not them too. I never should have suggested Peter. Peter. I swear I’ll kill him. I swear it on their dead bodies.

He walked around the scorched foundation, looking for anything that remained of the Potters. He paused to look under some floorboards, and couldn’t have been more surprised.

“Harry…you’re alive?” He picked up his godson and wiped ash off his forehead, revealing a lightning shaped scar that had not been there when last he’d seen him.

“A curse scar…no real scar is shaped like that. There’s no way that…no. The Killing curse can’t be shielded or blocked…but somehow…”