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Stevie opened his eyes but still only saw darkness. His head throbbed but he could not move his hand to comfort the area because it was bound with rope. He could only come to the conclusion that he had been kidnapped by old people which was a terrible threat to Stevie because the elderly was his one fear, a fear so great he had told nobody before this event (though when he started shouting “OLD PEOPLE GET EM OFF ME!” that changed quickly)
Heather immediately ran over to her boyfriend to remove the cloth from his eyes and the rope from his wrists. Stevie looked at his surroundings and he let out an annoyed sigh. He usually had to do that special sigh when he was around Alyssa (like he was at that moment) he had even dubbed it the Alyssa Sigh. “Why in the world are we on a TRAIN?” he asked as he starred out the door at all the passing objects and all the people in their cars pissed because they came to yet another railroad crossing.
“Because we are running away on an awesomely climatic expedition to another dimension thingy majigar through a portal in Brittland!” Alyssa said with enthusiasm as she cradled her newborn to sleep (however her loud and hyper voice was a put back in this effort). She received the “you’re completely crazy” look before Stevie slapped his forehead in aggravation. Alyssa couldn’t help but chuckle. Boy’s looked so silly when they slapped their foreheads because their eyes were always all squinted and their mouth was open in a growling position but there was no growling! And the fact that they just hit themselves also was quiet amusing.
“I already know why you morons kidnapped me but why are we on a train? Did you hop this train? I’d bet any money you did! How are we going to take a train to England anyway? Trains can’t cross oceans!” Stevie shouted earning himself a high heeled shoe tossed at his head. He again rolled his eyes, it was just like Alyssa to pick heels to run away in especially when she had a child with her.
“Because Alyssa had never hopped a train and she threw a fit until we all agreed to take the train to the shore where we’ll hop a cargo ship.” Heather said as she rolled her eyes. Normally planes would be the smartest way to get to England but as everyone knew Alyssa was petrified of heights and Heather herself couldn’t go near a plane after seeing Snakes on the Plane but that was strictly confidential.
“Well that’s just special but I’ve told you I didn’t want to go with you. If you want to go to a whole other country just for some hazardous baby you be my guest but I’ve a got a BMX show and I’m not missing it for that thing.” Stevie hissed as he wondered to himself if England had BMX or not. They certainly had old people. The queen had to be ancient in fact, he had never actually seen pictures or anything but she had to be, she was a queen after all. He couldn’t go to a country where an old person was in charge (George Bush was an exception to this because he sort of looked like a mentally retarded monkey with a saggy face. He couldn’t take that guy as a threat at all.)
“Well get over it stupid! We already knew you didn’t want to come, that’s the whole point of kidnapping you! Jeeze people these days are so slow they sometimes make me want to puke my brains out.” Alyssa stated as she struggled to open a jar of pickles while holding onto Klayton all at once. She figured he would have to get used to the aroma of the food then because that’s all Heather had in her house to pack. A whole lot of freaking pickles (her parents were in the pickle canning company, very important.)
“It’s such a shame you don’t have a brain to puke out.” Rick commented as he draw the eyes on the paper bag he would be wearing while he was around Alyssa so that nobody would recognize him. He always wear a paper bag around her but Heather had torn up his old one when he was trying to runaway from being taken on their trip…to run away…
“Okay let’s make a new rule; if you’re name is Rick and you are a therapist you have to shut up the throughout the whole trip unless you are going to say something really nice. Oh or you have to end every sentence with ‘in the shower’ or we’ll tell the cops about that pot you had in the basement last month.” Alyssa threatened as Heather and Rachael started rolling on the floor with laugher at Rick’s “oh shit” face. It was a very ugly looking face it did not fit his freckles well.
“You can’t be serious” Rick asked before he rolled his eyes at Alyssa clearing her throat in a very hinting manner “in the shower”. Even Stevie (who was rather pissed, to say the least) broke out in laughter. “You can’t be serious in the shower!” he said in a high pitched voice as he hit the wall laughing (this only made him look like a madman though).
“Well I am. I don’t exactly know where the portal is so we may be in Brittland for a while and I’ll need some entertainment since I can’t play crocket!” Alyssa shouted as she pointed a finger at Rick. Everyone waited for her to burst out laughing saying “I GOT YOU!” (Alyssa’s sense of humor was known to be…off…after all) but when that moment never came they all flipped. They took that information a lot less then the new mother had thought they would.
“You don’t know where it is?” everyone shouted at once before Rick’s small voice could be heard saying “in the shower”. Nobody laughed this time however. They had just found out they were chasing after something that they didn’t have the slightest idea as to where it was or where to begin even looking (after all they couldn’t go around asking strangers if they knew where the portal to the demon world was).
“Well not exactly but I mean we have to find it sooner or later and England’s a very nice place to live until then. Besides what am I supposed to do? It’s either look for the portal or let them kill my child!” Alyssa complained and she soon became a bit aggravated with her accompanists. They all had the choice on whether or not to go (with the exception of Rick who was just lucky he wasn’t in jail and Stevie) so they couldn’t complain now that they knew she had no idea where the portal was.
“Well do you at least have a place where we can live until you do find the portal?” Rachael asked in a suspicious tone. She knew Alyssa very well so her mind was not at ease knowing she was the one in charge of the trip. She began to scold herself for not asking such a question sooner, normally she’d be able to assume they had a place to stay but this was not a normal occasion.
“I can honestly say I do! There’s this old friend I have who cares for abandoned animals, we’ll be staying with him.” Alyssa said with a huge smile on her face. Of course, she had left out some petty details but those were so small they barely even mattered that much. They only mattered a pickle's worth…or a suitcase worth…fine, in all actuality it mattered a truck's worth but a very small-ish truck. What really mattered was the fact they wouldn’t be on the street though.
“This old friend has never been nothing more then a friend, right?” Heather asked as she rolled her eyes. The problem with her friend was she was way too easy with just about everything because she hated to disappoint people. Needless to say boys got disappointed if she refused to…do stuff and that is why they were in their current position of hiding a demon baby. It was a real shame Alyssa hated disappointing people because she was rather good at it whether she tried not to be or not (which doesn’t really make sense because it would be “she tried not to not be” but then the world doesn’t make sense now does it? This is the least of the problems right now)
“Whatever do you mean dear Heather feather?” Alyssa asked as if she had been offended. It was actually a rhetorical question but that didn’t matter to Heather who SEEKED the opportunity to use crude language (when she really felt like being crude) (which was very often mind you).
“Did you fuck the guy we’re staying with?” She asked as she hit her friend’s forehead hoping to knock some of the stupidity out of it. Unfortunately you could knock a whole pound of stupidity out of Alyssa’s head and there would still be enough left to help her not function properly. In fact knocking a pound of stupidity out of Alyssa’s head wouldn’t even make a DENT in that huge mold of pure STUPIDITY.
“Actually no, he’s all old and stuff gross Heather. He even has a little boy!” Alyssa exclaimed as she pulled out a photograph of a small child with a ball in his small little hand. “Now Klayton will have a little playmate isn’t that cute? Isn’t he just cute too? I bought him a little teddy bear.” She asked as she put the picture back in her pocket. “This guy is my god father,” Alyssa finished before she readied her self to jump off the train.
However, a little how is not what arrived before the runaways. To be more accurate; an emo did. He was fairly tall and he had black hair which fell over his eyes. He did not seem the least bit happy to have visitors either, it was more then obvious he was least impressed with WHO he saw. Alyssa decided right off the bat this “Aiden” boy was not the type of person she wanted to play hide and seek with and she especially didn’t think he would appreciate the bear. In other words: he crushed her dreams.
“Motley this is not the boy from the picture you sent me. Please tell me this is Aiden’s babysitter” Alyssa said as she pointed to the angered teenager. He was now especially unpleased with the fact she had been so blunt about not liking him which only pissed Alyssa off because he was blunt first. That only meant he was a blunt meanie who was also a part time hypocrite.
“Alyssa, take that photo and look at the back of it.” Motley instructed. Alyssa did as told and she found the date on the photo to be fourteen years prior to the present day. She looked up with big red puffy cheeks, it was an honest mistake; anyone could have done it. Who in their right minds looked at the back of a photograph ANYWAY? “That’s a picture of Aiden when he was three. He won’t let me take pictures of him now so the only present day photos I have of him are pretty much a body with a pillow or something blocking the face. I didn’t think you wanted that. I’m going to go cook dinner why don’t you all get situated. He’s giving me the silent treatment right now but maybe he’ll still find it in his heart to show you guys your rooms.” With saying this Motley took off to prepare a probably burnt feast.
“Here, this is for you” Alyssa said as she handed Aiden the stuffed teddy bear. He gave it a look over with a most perturbed look on his face and Alyssa rolled her eyes before saying, “Don’t you give it that look. It’s your fault, if you were three like you were supposed to be this would be a grand gift for you, HEY WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?” Alyssa shouted after Aiden chucked the teddy at the apposing wall. Gifts were not meant to be chucked, they were meant to be loved and cuddled with but never ever chucked (unless they happened to be balls)
Aiden did not answer this question. He just turned around and started upstairs with everyone’s in hand. He chucked random bags into random rooms not giving any thought to who would be where with the exception of putting the baby bag in the room with the crib. He then slammed the door of what had to be his room leaving the teenagers (and Rick) to unscramble the rooms he had put them in.
“Oh by the way Motley and Aiden are demons who care for different breeds of dragon.” Alyssa said defining the animal with her definition of dragon (Dragon noun: any winged animal). She received many dirty glares for this comment but she just rolled her eyes. If living with a demon was a problem for them then they needed to take a good look at her son AKA the one they were all running away FOR in the first place.
Not feeling like getting into an argument for once (she figured this was some after birth symptom) Alyssa walked down the stairs to the kitchen where take out boxes where scattered about. “What happened to you cooking dinner?” She asked Motley who was scrubbing at some orange residue in the microwave. The answer to that should have been obvious but then so should a lot of things that Alyssa had not realized. Ignoring these things usually resulted in fires or explosions.
“Dinner turned out not being too edible so we got take out, again! Aiden get your butt in this house it’s dinner time!” Motley yelled out the door to a huge barn; once again cuffing his hands (Alyssa considered explaining to him that this was not yet proven effective but decided not to because if she didn’t move quickly she would not get the cutest set of chopsticks (of course, all the chopsticks looked to be the same to everyone else).
“I know you’re out there! Get in this house before,” Suddenly Aiden appeared behind his father. This was something the humans who had never been to the demon world were greatly impressed with. Alyssa and Heather (and Klayton though he didn’t particularly count because he was asleep) however were used to this and had not paid it any extra attention that added to acknowledging it.
“I’m not hungry.” He said in a very snappy tone of voice before he stormed off to his room. Everyone (with the exception of Alyssa who was trying to be stealthy and swap her chopsticks with Heather’s because she ended up picking the SECOND best chopsticks and those just wouldn’t cut it.) lowered their heads because for some reason this gave people a sense of staying out of someone else’s business (even if they were doing it WHILE eavesdropping)
“What’s in the barn?” Rachael asked with a suspicious look on her face. No teenaged boy wanted to spend his time in a barn unless there were certain PLANTS being grown in said barn which were his for the picking. Otherwise it would be considered uncool to spend your time around smelly cows and chickens; whether you were demon or human this just was not acceptable.
“More animals from the demon world like the one in the bathroom, but that one was just a new born yet. Aiden is the strangest boy; he hates all people, no matter if you’re demon, human, or elf for crying out loud, with the exception of me, but he doesn’t mind being around a bunch of aggressive animals with short tempers.” Motley said as he took a small portion out of every box and stuck it in the fridge. He hoped his son would come down and eat later on when everyone was asleep but he had no idea what he would like so instead he just saved a little from each box even if chances were Aiden would be locked in his room for at least a full week.
Gah I haven't updated this in so long and after re-reading the first chapter i've come to realization that this story sorta sucks... yeah evantually i'll try to make it better!
I. F. well i'm glad to see you like the story even though i personally think it sucks! sorry it took so long to update but after a while i had too many inside jokes (this is based off tons of inside jokes) that i had to further plan out and everything. Anywho thanks for the review!
Emilee: get over it.
Heather: Yes heather i remember the asian pizza man, I was the one who put him in your mind remember? he's the whole reason you have a loser boyfriend this chapter, REMEMBER?! Jeeze! LOL Anywho but thanks for the review and eat more latkes...i make really good latkes! (I'm not jewish (those are the ones who eat latkes right? i have all my religions confused!) but i still make amazing latkes!)