The Life of Christopher Jones

Chapter One

It was eighteen years to the day that I had been dragged kicking and screaming into the world, and I was on my way to becoming very, very drunk. I was having a small party, small being, of course, lots of friends with lots of alcohol, in my shared flat. At least twenty people were crushed into the tiny living room, and a further twenty spread around the rest of the flat somewhere. I knew most of the people here, a few of them were friends of friends who randomly turned up. My just turned 15 year old sister was here also, with a few friends, by order of the parents of course, I think the only reason my sister turned up was to get a chance for her and her friends to get drunk. However I was trying, (though failing) to watch over how much she drank, and making sure she wasn’t flirting too much with anyone.

I was currently in the middle of a drinking competition with my flatmate, Graham. Graham looked as though he had been stretched out on a rack, he was tall and thin, with black spiked hair. He was good natured and laid back, nothing ever seemed to get him down, unless, of course, someone challenged him to a drinking competition, as I had foolishly done. Everyone knew Graham’s reputation for holding his drink, despite his slimness. He had matched me shot for shot so far, four in all, without even batting an eye. Whereas I was struggling to find the shot that had been placed right in front of my nose.

“Someone hold this goddamned table still please!” I shouted, waving my arms, (with my eighth beer still in hand, so I also succeeded in spilling that), maniacally. Graham just grinned.

“Forget it Jones, you don’t stand a chance!” He sat back in his chair, holding his fifth shot in his right hand, or left, I couldn’t really be sure at this point in time. That’s me by the way, Jones My names really Christopher Jones, but everyone just calls me Jones.

“N-no, I will beat you I swear!” I said, slurring my speech slightly, and attempting to grab the swaying shot. Instead of grabbing it however, I just knocked it over.

“Ah shit,” I said and dragged myself off the chair and into the living room, shouting good natured insults back at Graham on the way. God I need to sober up, I thought to myself and I stumbled out to the tiny balcony. I gazed out over the railing at the city of Glasgow, until somebody came out beside me. Even in my drunken state, I knew that smell.

“Hey Claire,” I said. Claire Chalmers. My best friend. Claire was slightly smaller than me, (only two inches as she would point out at every available opportunity) and had long red hair.

“I’m surprised you even realised someone else came out here,” she said with a small smile, and held out a glass of water for me.

“Thanks,” I said, I tipped the glass towards her. “Cheers!”

We stood out there for a while, talking about nothing in particular, before I decided it was time to check up on the party.

“I gotta go do a check up, see you in five,” I said, she gave me a funny look and was staring at me.

“What?” I said with a nervous laugh. She slowly started to lean in towards me, just before our lips touched, she pulled away and started to laugh.

“Jesus Christ Chris,” she laughed. She’s the only one who calls me Chris by the way. “That’s like the fifth time this week! Why do you never learn?”

I pretended to pout. “God, why do you tease me woman?”

“Cause it’s just so much fun!” she said, blew me a kiss and flicked a loose strand of hair away from her face. I smiled, shook my head and returned to the apartment. I walked around the apartment, nodding and saying a few words to some people and grabbing myself another drink of water. Where is my sister? I suddenly thought to myself. I quickly started scanning the rooms again. Oh you haven’t, I thought as I slowly opened my bedroom door. Two figures were lying on the bed, one was some guy, one of the friends of a friend, and the other was my sister. The friend of a friend was wildly groping and kissing my sister, and my sister was drunkenly lying there and accepting it, until she seen me at the door of course. I was leaning against the door frame, trying to look casual. My sister seen my and jumped up, mumbling something and trying to fix her rumpled blouse. The guy looked around drunkenly, trying to focus on me.

“Hey, what do you thin you’re doing you perv? Get outta the room!” he slurred.

“Steph,” (my sister), “get out of the room please.” She had the grace to look embarrassed and keep her head down as she left the room. I turned around to leave, when the guy, showing surprising agility considering his state, jumped of the bed and grabbed my shoulder.

“Hey you! What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he shouted. I wasted no time. I pushed his hand off of my shoulder, and swiftly landed a fist straight onto his nose.

“Don’t ever touch me again,” I said and walked out. “Also, get off of my carpet, you’re bleeding on it.”

III

It was now half past two in the morning, and the party had pretty much finished, the only people left were Claire, Stephanie and her two friends. I had just said goodbye to the last guests and watched them get into the taxi taking them home, when I met Steph and her friends coming down the stairs from my apartment.

“Where are you going?” I asked with a puzzled look.

“Home, we’re all staying over night there,” she said with a sheepish smile.

“You can crash at mine if you want, it’s a little late to be heading home,” I said, genuinely worried. She shook her head. “Look,” I coughed uncomfortably, “I’m sorry about before, I-I lost my head a bit. It’s just-“

“It’s ok,” she said, putting her hand over my mouth. “He was a jerk anyway, he was just taking advantage of me! Thanks. Could you… could you not tell mum though?” she asked quietly. I smiled.

“Sure thing lil’ sis’,” I said, and let them walk by me. When I got back to the apartment, Claire was walking about in a tank top and a pair of short shorts.

“God woman, you’re still teasing me!” she pouted lightly and walked towards me, as she walked by me, she trailed a hand over my stomach and brushed her lips against my cheek, up to my ear, and whispered.

“You know you love me,” and walked away. I stared at her walking away from me until she closed the door to my bedroom. I gulped slightly.

“I guess I’m on the couch then.”