“Hello and welcome to another episode of The Adventures of Guy N. Head and Mr. Giggles Bottom. I am Guy N. Head, the main character. At the end of the last episode, my traveling companion Giggles and I had just entered The Blue Forest, continuing our quest to find the blue banana tree. Before we begin, however, I would like to apologize for the author’s behavior and continual disruption of our story. If she knew anything about writing, she would know that the author is supposed to let her characters have free reign over the narration and their actions and stay behind her desk at all times. She has broken several rules in the character-writer relationship and for this I am very sorr-crap.”

The author interrupts Guy. “I’ll have you know, you little voice in my head, that I created you. This is my fairy-tale (is this a fairy-tale?) and I can do whatever I want. If you don’t like it, go find another story. I try my best and they just never appreciate it…”

“She’s doing it again! At least this isn’t as bad as her ‘360 drop kick reference’ thing.”

“What’s wrong with my references?”

“They didn’t make any sense! Camels changing the Captain Planet lines into a cake recipe? Tell me that’s not the best you can do.”

“Potato!” Giggles said as a greeting, walking in between the arguing pair, not noticing the death glares aimed at his head. “Why are we talking again? I could be finding the Lost City of Dessertia.” A studio audience laughs at Giggles’s joke, vanishing as quickly as they appeared. “Look an audience…or not.”

Guy throws his hands up in frustration. “I’m tired of this, on with the story!”

“Come on Giggles, we’re one step closer to finding the banana tree!” Guy starts dragging Giggles toward the blue forest. A duck walks up to the sign they just passed, “The blue forest huh?”

To be continued!

Several feet into the forest, Giggles turns around, looking intently through the trees.

“What’s wrong?” Guy asks.

“I sense something; a presence that I’ve not felt since…duck!” Giggles pushes Guy down on the ground.

“…”

“…”

“What was it?” Guy looks around but doesn’t see anything; he didn’t hear anything flying at them either.

“What?” Giggles looks confused.

“You said duck!”

“Huh?”

“What are we doing this for?” Guy tries to remain patient with his goofy companion.

“Goosing?”

“Ducking.”

“A ducking is goosing?”

“No, you duck not goose.”

“A duck has a goose?”

“What?”

“Which what?”

“What?!” By this time Guy was completely confused.

“What what are you whating?”

“Why do I feel that we’ve had this conversation before? It’s going nowhere, I quit.” Guy slowly gets up, looking out for any spontaneous unidentified flying ducks…er...objects that is. He turns around and notices that the forest contains trees of every shade of blue, finding a cobalt colored tree will be almost impossible. Why me? Guy thinks to himself. He pulls out his handy dandy color wheel, quickly finding the cobalt card. He walks to the nearest tree, comparing the colors, but alas it’s a cyan tree. He noticed that Giggles wasn’t helping and shook his head, wondering about his current circumstances. I’m looking for a cobalt tree in a forest completely filled with blue trees! Someone hates me I know it. He thought.

“Hey Guy? I have a question.” Giggles rolls over onto his back. He was still lying on the ground.

“What is it?”

“Two witches watch two watches. Which witch watched which watch?” Giggles cackles merrily.

“Shut up before you get hit with a radioactive bagel!” Guy hisses, glancing around nervously.

The word witch was taboo in Fanangol. If the all-knowing Queen heard anyone speak that word she would send the Bagel God to smite the offender where they stood. Guy had heard some gruesome tales about the Bagel God and his loyalty to the Queen. After a while Guy realized that bagels weren’t going to drop from the sky anytime soon and went back to his task. Giggles starts to build a castle out of blades of bluegrass. After his fifth tree Guy had had enough.

“You monkey!” He pointes at Giggles. “Help me with this!”

“Why?”

“Because we both need this blue tree and I’m not going to do all the work by myself!”

“How do you spell prestidigitation?”

“P-r-e…why do you want to know?” Guy stares. That monkey is totally random, he thinks.

Giggles glances over Guy’s shoulder. “The dish ran away with the spoon.” The dish and the piece of silverware wave at him before they vanish behind a tree. Giggles rolls over again and curles up in a ball. Guy sighs and slides down against the nearest tree. He leans back against it and startes to flip through the color wheel, finding all the shades of blue. He lookes at the forest surrounding them and sighs again. Suddenly, Giggle pops up. He glances around alertly.

“There’s a duck nearby. We need to leave,” he says, standing up. A twig snaps behind them.

A duck smiles evilly, “Well, well Giggles Bottom, I’ve caught up with you at last.”

To be continued!