Dear Darling,

Well...it looks like we're going to have to chat (finally)...about that nasty “letter” that Em sent to Ellen (the “letter” that you found and freaked out about).

Sigh It's a long and complicated story that'll take a while to explain, but because I can't contact you anyway other than this, I'll cut it short.

Most of that letter was fake. Completely and totally fake, so you can calm down. No need to worry-you're barely involved at all.

My birth name is Amanda. I'm the Amanda that is referred to in the letter. But my group of friends dubbed me Alice for various reasons and it stuck. So, if we chat after this, call me Alice. They inspired my pen name, btw.

Anyway, Ellen (the one who received the letter) and I (Alice/Amanda) are going out. We are together. We are girlfriends. We've been going out for almost 6 months now. I'm the one who introduced her to poetry, to her writing style, to this site. I'm the one who's given her most of her experiences that she writes about, and her ideas. So when you added her as a fav. author, I noticed.

To really understand this story, we have to back up a few years. I was 10 years old when I met Em (The girl who sent Ellen the letter). She introduced me to drugs and alcohol (though I use neither) and to being bi (which is what I am). She was my life, and is still a large part of my life. I've known her for almost 5 years now.

Anyway, we also were involved for a while. We broke it off because it interfered too much with our lives (she's a prostitute, and I wanted a stable relationship) and was too emotionally draining. But we remained close, and she's quite possessive of me. On the streets, her word is law, and if you mess with me she'll mess with you. Break my heart, she'll break your neck.

She kept quite a tight watch on me after we broke up, so she knew that I was going out with Ellen (the one who received the letter) and she disapproved. For some reason, she didn't think Ellen was good enough for me. I laughed at her. That just made her want to break Ellen and me up even more. It didn’t help that Em wanted me for herself. So she set out to convince Ellen that I was unfaithful. That almost worked. But because it didn’t, she’s desperate. She’ll stop at nothing to destroy the fragile relationship that Ellen and I share. And so she’s taken to making up lies (based on truth) to convince Ellen that Em and I would be a better match.

It’s true that I was surprised that you’d taken Ellen as a favorite, though I can see why. I was proud of Ellen (and proud of myself, having taught her everything she knows) so I mentioned it to Em. I told her how happy I was, and that Ellen was finally making a name for herself on the site. People were starting to notice her. I’d given Ellen everything, even her pen name, so it was a huge ego boost for me as well as for her.

Em used this as fodder for that review. She twisted the things I said to make them sound horrible and hateful. I haven’t cut for a while (Ellen helped cure me of that) but she lied to make Ellen upset. I have not had my heart broken.

To really understand the feud between Ellen and Em, you’d have to look back to old “letters” and poems that were posted (on mine and other people’s pen names (I’m not sure how she got a hold of my account)). It’s an intricate web of lies and falsehoods. I’m sorry to have dragged you into this Alison. I’ll take Em in hand and tell her to stop, once and for all. I have never meant to cause you hardship, or worry.

You may have noticed-Both Ellen and I have quite a bit of stuff about Em posted. Em has also, as I said, posted storied/poems to Ellen on MY pen name. I’ve deleted most of them. You’ve read most of them. This feud goes back a few weeks, months, at least.

If you have any questions, just ask. You may not understand all this, and I don’t really expect you to, but I’ve tried my best to explain it.

Love, always,

Alice

P.S. I wouldn’t mind you telling me how you connected me to Em. Why did you leave me that review asking me to explain? Why did you think I was the person to ask?