Denial is the First Stage

Summary: She has a personality disorder, he's confused, everyone is tired and wants them to just shut up.

AN: Not really my current style of writing, just something I wrote a while ago. It seems fitting to post it now.

Ch 1: She

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I hate summer. It's stupid. It's boring. I just sit home all day and play video games. I sleep at odd hours and my parents tell me they are worried about me. I eat whenever I sit, and I sit for the majority of the day. I play Dance Dance Revolution with the controler instead of the mats. All the stepping and jumping makes me tired. Is it suprising that I gained about fifteen pounds over the summer? This short, two month holiday?

Even with that in mind, I wish that it will never end.

Does that make sense?

Didn't think so.

School will begin in a week. I am not prepared. At all. I have to write four essays, three of those I need to read two novels, each nearing four-hundred pages in length. I also have to complete a twenty page packet for AP chemistry.

Did I mention school starts in a week?

So basically, I am fucked. Big. Time. Big time.

I could possibly un-fuck myself if I just started working, but unfortunalty, I can't. I don't know why. When I complained to my friends, they just laughed and told me I will get through it. After all, I am a smart person. Right?

Right. Wrong. Wrong? Right!

I should just say, "Fuck all this!" and drop the classes, save myself the stress, but I can't.

The only thing that makes me special is my "intellegence". People think I'm smart because I get good grades and I took an AP class my sophmore year. Or, I used to get good grades.

But I am definetly not smart. I can't write a decent essay. So I took AP Physics my sophmore year. Whoo! Good for you, right? I took the AP test and guess what my score was?

One. On a scale of one to five, five is the highest, one is the lowest. And I got a one. My friends don't know about it. When they asked, I said, "What do you think?"

They said: Four? Five?

I smiled. They were happy with that answer. I do that sometimes. When I don't want to admit a fault, I just smile and my friends think the best of me. They think I am one of those intellegent, enigmatic kind of people who thinks everyone is stupid and inferior. Well, that's only half true.

The good thing is that they never question my answers.

Anyway, I hate summer. Did I mention that? Of course I did. Well, here is another set of reasons. During the summer, I don't talk to people besides my parents. That is because I hate calling people. It scares me. My charisma skills are near zero. Infact, I think they are negative. My friends don't call me. I think they think I am weird and think low of them. I see them once in a while when my parents force me to go out to the grocery store or something.

My friends say 'hi' and ask me what was my score on the AP exam.

You know what I say. I say 'What do you think' and they assume the best, and I smile, and they say they have to leave, and I agree, and we leave and I don't see them until the next time I run into them.

So there. That's my life. It took me three years to nail the smart image, and I don't feel like keeping up with it.

But I can always add more.

Alright, here goes. My family is as poor as... well, we could be bums, pretty much.

Not really. But we are pretty poor.

We live in an apartment, my parents and I. It's two bedroom, one bathroom. It is terrible. There are bugs. Mildew. You can only image the kind of neighbors we have. My bed cost about thirty dollars and it is covered with pillows because the springs poke out. The carpet in my room is disgusting. The walls are discolored.

I don't even have a computer. I go to the library when I need to type something.

What else... oh, my cell phone is ancient. My 'friends' laugh at it. It's huge. The screen doesn't have color- it's green and black. No camera. No games. It doesn't "flip" or anything. It's one of those old model "bar phones" from the late ninties.

I don't know why I even have a phone. It's not like I call anyone. And even when someone calls me, I dont answer it.

A cell phone is just one of those things a teen must have. If not, then you are really poor.

What else about my life sucks.

Right. Sometimes, I ramble(like now). I have odd fetishes.

Not a good combination.

So... A lot of guys at my school think that beyond my enigamic, intellegent facade, I am a kinky sex kitten that is into a lot of odd stuff.

That lot of guys aren't the hot, beautiful, sweet, rich, Prince Charming ones, either. I got the weirdos chasing me.

Just so you know, skimpy cloths cost less than nice ones. That doesn't help me much. Sweaters get hot in the summer.

Hey, summer! I hate summer.

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Fast forward one week.

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The usual questions.

"Hey you, how was your summer?"

The usual response.

"Good, and yours?"

Next.

"Good!"

Then, the awkwardness.

"...Okay well, I'll see ya later. Maybe we'll have a class together!"

Then,

"Yeah, that would be awesome!"

The best part.

"Alright, see ya!"

And-

"Bye!"

Laugh laugh, giggle giggle. Smile, grin, beam.

I go through that a couple more times.

The bell rings and its time to go to first period.

So, did I drop out of the AP classes or what?

No. I need my intellegence mask, or I am nothing. I like being something.

I wrote four essays. Two hours yesterday at the library. Ha. Procrastinator, c'est moi.

Technically, somebody else wrote them. I swapped words and mixed the paragraphs around, then dumbed-down the writing style.

It took me two hours.

As for the books? I read the CheaterNotes for them. That took me another two hours.

The chemistry packet? I bullshitted the entire thing. It took me an hour. Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll find someone and copy off of them.

There you go, ladies and gentleman, a summer's worth of work in five hours.

One hundred fifty hours of my summer went to videogames. Five when to school. The rest was probably sleeping and eating, showering and unrecorded videogame play.

I am such a geek. But underneath that enigmatic geek it a kinky sex kitten, mind you.

Anyway, on to the interesting part of my life.

My love life!

I don't have one. The problem with being an enigmatic, intellegent geek who's really a kinky sex kitten is that everyone thinks you have a college boyfriend.

I don't know how that works. It comes with the package, I suppose. But I dont have a college boyfriend. I don't have anything.

I have two fat, ugly, self-conscious guy friends who are afraid of me because I ramble and tell them things they don't want to hear. Like, you guys are fat and ugly and you will never get a girl friend because of it. They get ass-sore and bitchy. Then I tell them, haha, just joking, you have potential. I smile and leave and they assume the best.

Anyway. Fast forward to lunch.

I woed the teachers with my enigmatic ways and short, concise anwers to their questions. I am the master of bullshit.

Go me.

So, lunch goes like this-

We get forty minutes to chill. I sit in a good group that pretends like they enjoy my company.

We call ourselves the "Awesome Crew." The Awesome Crew consists of eight members. There is the Leader, the Cheerleader, the Cheerleader's Boyfriend, the Bitch, the Psycho, the Anorexic in Denial, the One Everyone Hates and...

The Smart One. That would be me. They talk to me when they need help in school. I tell them what they already know and add that people don't get smarter by having other people think for them. Wise words.

I'm useless, really.

But back to reality.

Something happens at lunch that will change my way of life forever. Something that will actually make me have to think to keep my image, work hard to keep what I had worked so hard to attain.

Aliens come and blow up the school. Everyone dies, except me. It turns out it was really the old seniors that forgot about the senior prank. They ran around burnt carcasses screaming, "Oh-Five!"

Just kidding. I wish that happened.

The two fat guys come over, dragging along a boy I have seen before. Summer treated him well. He looks... good. Nice.

"Hey, look who we found!" Blond Fatty says.

"It's the Dumb Kid!" Afro Fatty laughs.

The Awesome Crew stares. The hot Dumb Kid looks at me and says what others dare not.

"Hey, you got kinda fat over the summer!"

I stare. Anorexic in Denial throws away her plum, just in case he says something to her.

Dumb Kid says, "Oh!" Laugh laugh. "Well, it just looks like it, anyway."

My down fall begins.

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AN: Ah, highschool. Lol. Review please.