When I Met You

I screamed where no one could hear me – inside my own head.

It wasn’t hard – just a lot quieter, so the effect wasn’t as great as I had hoped it would be. It certainly didn’t do anything to alleviate my frustration. I threw another glance at the small heap of flesh and bed sheet on top of the bunk next to me. Damn; how annoying.

Normally I wouldn’t have been so frustrated; as far as I’m concerned, I’m queen of playin’-it-cool. But that story changes when that time of the month comes. Yes, that time. Believe it or not, it’s a lot easier to get on my nerves then. I also reach more emotional extremes, and I must cry in the middle of it at least once.

Too bad she was the same way. My roommate of barely 3 months, Sara… it was ridiculous that I got stuck with her. She slept early (way too early for my taste, and that was at 11 or 12), and she was the lightest sleeper I had ever met. There was one time I stayed up extremely late (as is, sometimes, my habit), and didn’t end up sleeping until 4. I would have stayed up longer, except she suddenly sat up after 3 hours of tossing and turning, then turned to me with tear stains all over her face.

“Could you please stop typing so loud?!” she sobbed. I looked at her blankly for a second, before struggling to keep a straight face. Was she freaking serious? My typing was loud?! She couldn’t even sleep through my typing? That was when I knew I was doomed from the start. And to top it all off, it got worse when either of us was on her period.

Tonight, we were both on our periods. It was Disaster… yes, spelled with a capital D.

The bed squeaked again. She was tossing and turning every which way, seemingly to find a comfortable spot on the bed. I knew for a fact she was just trying to press the side of her head further into the already flattened pillow in an effort to drown out the noise of my incessant typing. Little did she know that I was really complaining about her to my friend online.

After a few more minutes, I threw one last annoyed look at the bed, said good-bye to my friend, and grabbed my keys. It was midnight, and I wasn’t sleepy in the least. I also had nowhere to go. Despite that, I got out, locked the door, and proceeded to the student lounge just downstairs.

I sighed. So this was what dorm life was like… nothing too great or too special. A roommate who doesn’t really match me, plus the insatiable sexual frustrations of the young ladies next to our room – and that was just during quiet hours. I mean, do they really think no one can hear the squeaking beds?! And for the love of God, don’t try to turn up the music to hide it – it only makes everything more obvious! It didn’t help that I saw the two pairs of girls practically everyday; well duh, they lived right next door.

At least at midnight, there was less going on in the dorms. The real party seemed to happen outside, at least 30 feet away from the building itself – weed, cigarettes, liquor. Freshmen had always been made out as if they were nothing but animals, living for the pleasure of the moment. The freshmen here at school certainly lived up to that, but the school itself was anything but a “party school.” I shook my head, and hoped they didn’t invite me. Then I looked down at my pajamas and brightened – probably not.

I took a quick peak inside the lounge and was surprised to find that no one was inside. Usually there were people studying, or maybe people watching porn on the big screen TV. If there was no one, that meant… YES! The pool table was free!

I had been planning to try and play pool for the last 2 months, to try and get back into it again. I was by no means good – I just wanted to play for the hell of it. Every time I felt like hitting a few balls, there were people at the table, or there were people in the lounge that could possibly make fun of me when I missed (and it was inevitable). But at that moment, the table was mine.

I turned in my ID card at the front desk and got the pool set they rented out. The beat-up stick was a little too long for me, but it wasn’t like I could do anything about it. The balls were in better condition, though the colors were faded on most of them. When I took a closer look at the table, the light green felt and faded wood stains showed its age. Still, I didn’t mind – anything to get away from her.

I set up the cue balls like I had seen my dad do before – though of course, in reality, I had no idea what I was doing. The break was lousy, and the balls stayed on one side of the table, not one of them going into a pocket. I frowned; I was in worse shape than I thought. As I attempted to hit balls into the pockets, my hands had to relearn how to hold the stick, and where to hit the ball, and where the two should be making contact in order to create a solid hit. I settled into a sort of habitual mindset – aim, steady, hit, follow-through. Still, 30 minutes later, I had only sunk one or two balls, and it looked like I was going nowhere. I stood up straight and sighed.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed someone watching from the lounge doorway. He looked to be about a foot taller than me, with shaggy, obviously bleached/streaked brown hair and piercing blue eyes. His jeans were worn and his white shirt looked like it had been washed too many times, but he was holding a bottle of soda, watching me play out of the corner of his eyes.

I had the grace to give an embarrassed laugh and held up my hands in front of me, waving them from side to side. “Oh dear God, please don’t watch me play… really…”

“Hm?” he mumbled. “But you were doing okay.”

“Uh… how long have you been standing there…?”

“Not long… maybe 5 minutes. Don’t worry about it. First time?” He walked over to the table, standing on the other side of where I was.

“Nah, not really. I just haven’t played in so long, you know?” I smiled.

“It’s kinda weird that you’re here playing at…” he glanced at his watch, “12:30 in the middle of the night.”

“Yeah, well it’s kinda weird to be at the lounge getting soda at 12:30 in the middle of the night too, don’t you think?” Usually I didn’t bite out sarcastic remarks, but I hadn’t worked out all of my frustrations on the balls yet.

“Well, yeah I guess so.” He glanced at the balls again. “Hey, it looks like you’ll be here all night just trying to finish this game. Why don’t I play with you, and we’ll start a new one?”

I blinked. This dude just offered to play with me… and I just met him. Strange, but hell, why not? I was bored, and maybe I could learn a few things along the way. “Sure,” I answered. “They already have my card, so you can just ask for another stick at the desk.”

“Sounds good,” he said, nodding, and left to get his stick. I attempted a couple more hits (both of which were fruitless), before he came back and racked the balls.

“Ah, so that’s how you do it…” I said, slightly impressed.

“Well, I know this is really general. I don’t really know the order. All I know is, for eight ball, the 1-ball’s here, and the 8-ball goes here. There’s something else going on with the other balls, but I dunno, it really doesn’t matter to me.” He took the triangle thingy away (I still didn’t know any of the lingo for pool) and asked, “Do you want to break?”

“Nah, it’s okay. You can go ahead. I suck at breaking.” I laughed and scratched the back of my head sheepishly.

He smiled back. “Oh and by the way, I’m Josh.” He held out his hand to me, and I shook it.

“I’m Galenne, but everyone calls me Lenne. Nice to meet you.”

“You too. Now, let’s play, huh?”

…

“Hm? Josh? What are you doing here so late?”

My laugh quickly died down, and I looked towards the doors of the lounge to find an odd-looking trio walking in to the lounge. The one that led them was blond, with a pair of deep blue eyes hidden behind a pair of dark-rimmed glasses. His clothes were stylish, and definitely more sophisticated than the pajamas I still wore. He was short too, just a little taller than me – and I was just five feet tall. Another one had dark curly hair, hidden by another pair of glasses similar to the blond boy’s. He wore something similar to the blond boy too, except that he wore jeans, giving him a more casual air. The third, somewhat lagging behind, had somewhat long spiky hair, and wore a leather jacket and tight jeans. When I say tight, I mean tight… I had never seen a pair of pants so tight on any guy. He might as well have been wearing leather pants.

“Oh, hey Sam,” Josh said, addressing the blond one. “I’m just playing a little pool.”

“Oh yeah? This late huh?” The one in the leather jacket seemed to be speaking to Josh, but was looking at me a bit strangely… really, too strange for my taste. I shifted uncomfortably in my spot, my eyes darting from the guy in the leather jacket to Josh.

Josh saw where leather-jacket-dude’s eyes were, and said, “Hm? Oh, guys, this is Lenne. Lenne, these are the guys.”

I wasn’t Japanese, Chinese, or Korean, but I habitually bowed. I blame that fact on watching too many anime and Asian dramas. Nevertheless, I bowed shallowly in their general direction. “Nice to meet you.”

They each nodded or did nothing, as their personalities allowed (whatever those personalities held). Josh continued. “The curly haired one is my roommate, Matt. The blond one is Mike, and the other one is Jake. We all live on the same floor here.” After a brief uncomfortable silence,

“So you guys are just playing, huh?” Jake said, taking a seat in one of the couches nearby.

“Mmhmm,” I muttered, still feeling uncomfortable.

“Hey, we’ll watch. We’ve got nothing else to do. That okay with you guys?” Mike asked.

“Yeah, sure. Hey did you guys just come back from smoking?” Josh said. It was his turn to shoot, so he made an attempt and narrowly missed shooting one of my remaining balls into a pocket.

“Yeah, but the weed’s still upstairs. We just used the rolled-up cigarettes from this afternoon.” I glanced up as Matt held up a small Ziploc bag containing papers and what looked like the insides of a cigar. I didn’t smoke, so I was somewhat disgusted. Still, I managed to keep my thoughts off my face, shooting a couple of balls into a corner pocket.

“Hey, we’ve got ourselves a pool shark!” Jake said, grinning. He was still looking at me strangely, but I smiled in return.

“Nah, I’m not any good. That was just lucky.” I shook my head and tried to hit another ball in, but missed. “See?”

“Ha, yeah right…” Jake said. It was hard not to be perturbed by those eyes. They just seemed to follow me in a stalker-like manner. I didn’t like stalkers.

…

“Oh, you know Chris?” Josh said, surprised. The other three guys had left already, gone to their room to get their weed, and then out the door to smoke it. I hoped to God they got caught smoking, rather than got caught dead. Then again, I was exaggerating… right?

“Who doesn’t know Chris?” I laughed. “That guy seems to know everyone. He’s like a little social butterfly.”

“Oh yeah? He lives on my floor,” Josh replied, laughing with me. “So what do you think about him?”

“That guy?” I mused, hitting my last striped ball into a pocket. “He’s… um… well…”

“Quite a character,” Josh supplied.

“Yeah, exactly!” I laughed. “That’s just it. It’s like, you can’t find specific words to explain it, so you find some vague words, and that about just sums it up.” I tried to aim for the 8-ball and missed. “But other than that, he’s pretty cool.”

“Yeah, he is. He’s sort of emo, but you kind of get used to it. It’s just him.” Josh hit his last solid ball into a pocket. “Great, now we’re both going for the 8-ball! Sudden death!”

I laughed. “Reminds me of Super Smash Brothers,” I muttered.

“I love that game!” Josh enthused, turning to me with wide, surprised eyes. “You play video games?”

“Yeah, I’m a gamer. I don’t do it a lot, actually, so I’m not as hard core as I’d like to be.”

“Aw, too bad. But have you played Melee?”

“Once, but it was so awesome!”

“I know! The controls are so much faster!”

“That might just be because of the game system though.”

“That’s true.” Josh hit the 8-ball into the corner pocket.

“Dang, you’re good.”

“Nah, I’m out of practice. I used to play a lot with my two best friends back in LA. We’d go out like, once a week and play at some pool bar.”

“Oh, I see…”

There was a brief silence while he re-racked the balls for another game.

“Hey, you know those three guys?” Josh asked, not looking at me.

“Hm? Yeah, your friends, right? What about them?” I gestured for him to break again, since I didn’t want to embarrass myself.

“Well, you know, I don’t think I need to mention this…”

“No, what is it?”

“Well,” he paused. “I’m not saying anything against Matt, ‘cause he’s been an awesome roommate. But you know… Mike and Jake… Well, Mike’s an art major. The only reason he’s an art major is so he can look sensitive, so it’s easier for him to pick up girls. Jake’s a business major like me, but he’s the same way. But like I said,” he laughed, “I didn’t need to mention it, right?”

“Oh… so they’re players,” I stated, matter-of-factly.

“Yeah. Pretty much.”

“I wouldn’t have picked up on it, actually…” I mused. “I usually don’t ‘sense’ things like that. You could pretty much say I’m completely oblivious to those kinds of things.”

He laughed. “Oh really?”

“Yeah really!” I laughed too.

…

“Man, I didn’t win one game tonight… that’s sad…” I said pathetically.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll get better over time.” Josh started putting away the balls, while I gathered the sticks. We both walked to the front desk, where I retrieved my card, then walked to the elevators. Josh glanced at his watch while we waited. “Wow, it’s 3 AM… it’s a good thing we stopped. I have an 8:30 AM class tomorrow.”

“Ha… I have a class at 8:05.” I shook my head. “Crazy.”

“Yeah, we’ll see who wakes up tomorrow…” An elevator arrived, and we walked into one.

When I stepped off at my floor, I waved at him goodbye, and said, “See ya later.”

“See ya, kiddo.” He replied, grinning. I shook my head and laughed as the doors closed; he knew I was almost a year older than him, even if we were in the same grade. It was just something I encountered in school… I didn’t know why I was older than practically everyone else.

When I unlocked my door, I realized I couldn’t stop grinning.

Stupid, stupid idiot. Foolish idiot. I berated myself as I popped my head in to see if Sara was still awake. She wasn’t, and I walked in quietly, and got ready for bed.

I didn’t make it to my 8:05 class the next morning.

…

Reflection

He had saved me that night. What I hadn’t realized was that I was on the verge of tears, missing everything that home was about – my friends, my family, and the heaviest sleepers my life could offer. He had saved me, and showed me that there was still hope on the horizon. Somewhere, sometime in the future, I would fit in to this school. Somehow.

In the months that followed, I grew fond of him, but didn’t like him in the way his friends and my friends thought I did. We laughed about the stupidest things, shared some of our darkest thoughts and secrets… I loved almost every minute of it. Until that time came, I was happy.

Our friendship grew still higher, but of course, there was a limit. Happiness doesn’t last… not for anyone. We grew apart, and my friends noticed I was sadder than normal. A lot sadder.

When I realized it was because of him, I immediately pulled away. And when he didn’t come running after me, I knew it was for the best. I didn’t want to pulled down. I didn’t want to be sad all the time. Mine was a happy nature, and his was somehow dark, at least until he pulled himself out of his own rut.

He saved me; I couldn’t save him.

Someone told me it wasn’t my fault… I wasn’t the one responsible for it. I didn’t have to save him. Though somewhere deep inside me, I still want to, if only to repay him for that night. I really wanted to. It hurt me when he was sad, because he had made me so happy, if only for a while. But his moods affected mine to the point where I was like a barometer, and he was the storm. I reflected his inner turmoil and projected it to those people around me. I had never cried for anyone so much before, in such a short amount of time.

When I pulled away, I pulled completely away. And somehow, we grew to be enemies. I said one thing too many, and snapped the fragile line between us. I suppose it was inevitable, and it was both of our faults. Mine, because I pulled away so suddenly, his because he didn’t care about it enough to find out why.

But he’s one for ya, kiddo…. You’ll always stay in my heart, and I’ll always be here if and when you need me. Love ya.