The Self Portrait

I watch in silence as you work
Off in that world of yours away from me
But I guess I don’t mind, I do it too
The floor covered in paint
From your previous beauties
Your sneakers and pants sprayed with colors
That may as well be your blood

The face of the child you were in the corner
Just a happy child playing in vacant lot
With sunlight in your eyes
And the wind in your hair
Not knowing how your mother cried

Across the way is another child you weren’t
Because your older brother had a gun
The odds were bet against him
You lost him before you were ten

The addict you almost became between them
With sullen face and dark eyes
The one you claim I saved
But the teenager that you were is in front
That laughed without broken eyes
Dancing out in the basketball court
And blasting music in the art room

At the bottom is the man you might become
If the sins of the father were the sins of the son
But you refuse
Because there’s also the man you hope to be
One there to stop your kids
Before they fall over the edge

We both know
They’re all a part of you

The paintbrush drops as you hang your head
I hold out my arms and you collapse
From exhaustion and the pain in your heart
Don’t you know
I wish I could wrap my heart around you
As you confess all your crimes
And start to cry…

You say you don't want me to see the rest of you, and only see your heart for the good intentions that are there. What you don't realize is that it's because of your heart, I'm willing to see all of you - and I want to hold you and love you all the more.