A/N: Yo guys! Ehrm, this is just a "test" post... I'm trying out in the comedy department... I don't know if this is going to stay long. Well, if at least one reviews, then I would make sure to continue this. .. But of course, I'm still going to put The Girl on the Skateboard on my priority list... So maybe, if this continues, I'll only update it every couple of weeks! (maybe once every 2 weeks, I dunno)

Okay, so enough with the yakking. Please review and tell me what you think of it! This is kinda long (for me) .. The next chapters (if there would be sufficient enough reviews) would be a bit shorter. Okay now. Onward with the story!

FLUNK

CHAPTER 1 – Greatest Liar Ever

My name is Kentoshi Narusana. I am a freshman in Yutaka High, the prestigious school for the rich and gifted. Now, you’re asking, who am I to have made it into this school?

Why, I am no other than the light of the sun… The defender of the weak… The plumber of broken toilets… The voice of the meek… The eyes of the blind… The ears of the deaf… The prince charming of each pretty little lady… The knight in shining armor in every girl’s dreams…

I am…

Lying.

“Hey twit!”

Gingerly, I turned my head a fraction and acknowledged the presence of a few guys who were lounging in the narrow hallway. I gripped my books hard and said meekly, my voice forced, “Yes?”

One of them, a particularly fat one (who, in my opinion, needed a good shaving), swaggered around my side, his belly protruding from the too tight uniform on his body. “Well, well,” he grunted, and I swear I felt his saliva splattering on my left cheek, “What have we gotten here, eh? Lookie, lookie, boys, fresh meat, straight from the oven!”

His “boys” cracked up. I rolled my eyes heavenward. Was what he said even funny?

Fat Punk slid his hairy hand around my shoulders, leaning his weight on me. I gagged at his stench. Like, ew! B.O. at 7:30 AM?! I shifted on my right feet, trying to balance his weight so I wouldn’t fall down. I removed his furry arm around me and muttered, “What do you guys want?”

“What do we guys want?!” Fat Punk mimicked horribly, his beady eyes expanding exaggeratedly. “Why, me an’ my boys want nothing but dough, twit!”

“I’m not bread, sir. So if I could go now…?”

I tried to dislodge his hold and stepped away. His hand closed around on my arm. I suddenly felt a tad smaller, staring up at him, his pig like eyes darting left and right. He grinned, his yellowish teeth showing, “’Course you ain’t bread! But that ain’t what we’re talking about here, righ’ boys?”

His comrades hooted agreements, clearly enjoying the “show” before them: Fat Punk Leader of Idiotic Group Bullies Small Freshman Twit.

I lowered my voice, trying to act tough. But then, who was I kidding?

“Get your paws off me, fucker.”

“Ooooh, I’m scared!” His group started cracking up again.

I gritted my teeth, staring up into this fat, hairy, stubby, stupid, idiotic thing who was gripping my hand, trying to decide what kind of torture I would do to him. Chun Li’s Hundred Kicks attack? Goku’s Kame Hame Wave? Yugi’s Dark Magician? I punched him with all my strength in the chest.

Ha. As if. I couldn’t even reach his head. My hand bounced harmlessly off his chest.

He grinned maniacally.

I am soooo dead.

Fat Punk raised his arm, his fist clenched. I closed my eyes, his stench filling my nostrils as I waited for the inevitable pain...

It never came though.

Whap!

Surprised, I opened my eyes and gaped as I saw the Math textbook bounce off the fatso’s sweaty forehead, leaving a reddening spot. Ew. He looked even uglier, if that was possible.

Fat Punk turned his head slowly and directed his piggy eyes to where the book came from. Standing there, in all his shining glory, was a tall young man, his broad shoulders blocking out the daylight as he strode forward, Physics textbook in hand, snarling.

“Bojo, let go of Kentoshi.”

His deep voice made the few girls watching the scene swoon in delight.

The stinking kid holding my arm let go at once. Beads of sweat rolled down his neck as he bowed down low almost immediately, his cronies following suit. “Yes sir, Oni-sama. Er- we were just playing, sir, not to worry! Not to worry…”

They bowed once more, and then quick as a wink, they all scampered back into their filthy little holes. I rubbed my wrist, scowling a little at the guy grinning in front of me.

“Why, Kentoshi! That was the third time this week! You’ve set up a new record for Yutaka High, man.” His sarcasm washed over me as I bent and retrieved his Math textbook.

“Shut up, Onisuke.”

I frowned again at the grinning teenager in front of me, reaching out and giving him his textbook back. Of course, there was more to that frown that mere annoyance at his sarcasm. I was embarrassed; and naturally, angry at the heavens for giving me this ill destined life I’m leading.

Oni has been my best bud since 4th grade. As close as we are, our personalities are far from similar. Oni is the cool, boy-next-door, easy going type, while I’m, unfortunately, the complete opposite. Although it has been just two months since we enrolled in Yukata High, Oni had already managed to become a part of the school’s basketball team. A freshman at that! Kinda reminds me of Sakuragi and Rukawa in Slam Dunk... I suppose the main reason he got accepted was because of his height. At 16, he was already up to 173 centimeters! But then he also had the skills... and the looks.

Onisuke Mitsugi. Star player of Yukata High’s basketball team, campus crushie, the envy of every boy in school.

Silently I berated the gods again.

Why, oh, why couldn’t I have been as talented as my best friend Oni?! As handsmome?! As tall?! I hated my 152 centimeter frame. Albeit I’m a year younger than Oni, but… I am shorter than him by around 20 centimeters! Admittedly, I am quite good looking (no kidding)... Black wavy hair that reached just above my nape, honey colored eyes, and lashes girls would kill for.

But my body – it was slender, for goodness’ sake! I want muscles... Ehrm, real muscles. And, height! To think that most of my female classmates are taller than me...

Oh, the shame of it! (enter various swear words here...)

I began to walk down the aisle, looking daggers at the few students who were pointing at me and whispering to one another. Onisuke caught up with me and began striding beside me. It reminded me of a father and his 8-year-old son together. An, no, I’m not talking about the father-and-son relationship, I’m referring to the difference in our heights.

“Hey man, you, uh, got the assignment for Math class?”

I smirked and slipped him a sly glance. He thumbed his collar nervously. “Why, Oni, don’t tell me you haven’t done yours? After the remarkable shot you made with the Math textbook ealier?”

He winked at a couple of girls in a corner before raising pleading gray eyes to mine. “Come on, man! You know how I hate to do those quadratic equations, whatever they are.”

“I don’t know…” I mumbled, enjoying the pleasure of watching him squirm.

We reached the classroom door, and I adjusted my backpack. Suddenly I stopped. My eyes were drawn to the ethereal creature standing outside our classroom. My heart pounded hard and my eyes glazed over as I stared. And stared. I heard myself sigh wistfully.

Aw. Stupid me.

When I looked up, Oni was looking at me with a devious gleam in his eyes. I cleared my throat hastily. “Ahm…”

“Why, Kenny...” he drawled. I hated that stupid nickname. “You’ve got a crush on Shiza Mitsugi!”

I felt my face heat up. Oni’s sparkling eyes told me I had blushed. Rather furiously, in fact. I averted my look and stared at the specks of dust on my shoes. “Every man can dream.”

“well, maybe you can! But I...” Oni took a step forward to the girl we were talking about, “I believe I feel an itch here right about now...” he pointed to his grinning mouth and walked over to Shiza.

I froze. The moronic jerk was going to tell on me!!

“Hi Shiza!” Oni greeted warmly to the black haired girl beside the classroom door. “Warm weather today, huh?”

Shiza smiled at him shyly, a small dimple appearing on her right cheek. Intstantly I felt my heart swell. Oh holy saints in heaven, am I in love?! Then, I saw Oni talking with the love of my life. Instantly, I felt jealousy and rage. How dare that Onisuke make moves on my girl!? My girl, Shiza!! I could punch his scheming face right now! Just he wait –

Aaargh. And get pummeled in return. Oh my big black tongue.

Onisuke crossed his arms over his chest and flashed Shiza his award-winning smile. “You know, Shiza, I know someone who really, really, really likes you a lot.”

Shiza blushed a bit and pushed back a lock of shiny black hair behind her ear, “Oh... really?”

“Yeah, for real. But putting that aside...” Onisuke turned and faced me. “Shiza, have you ever met this gorgeous hunk before?” he drawled, pointing a finger at me.

I choked. I blushed furiously (again!) and smiled weakly at the staring Shiza. “Ahm... Hi there, Shiza-san.”

A spasm of disbelief crossed Shiza’s face as she looked at me, up and down. She turned to Oni and arched a graceful eyebrow. “Are you kidding me?” She looked at me again, nodding curtly, “Hello, Kentoshi-kun.” Turning on her heel, she entered the classroom.

Kun?! Oh yeah. She was already 16.

My shoulders drooped. Oh, the pain of rejection!

Oni patted me gently on the back. “S’okay, man, com’on...”

He led my unmoving body into our classroom, waving to the other “cool” students who either stuck their noses up when I passed by or looked down on me. One day... One day they would look up at me... One day, they would bite my dust... One day, they’d treat with the just respect I so deserve...

Mweh.

First, I must get taller. So for the time being... Cherifer and growth balls, galore!

I collapsed in my seat, heaving a sigh. I was hopeless. I opened my notebook.

Shit.

Quickly I spun on my seat and shot Oni a venomous glare. He grinned at me from his seat at the back, waving, his hand clutching a familiar piece of paper.

My math assignment.

I growled as I slouched again. I tore a sheet from my notebook and scribbled on the page. If only...sigh...

“MY GREATEST DREAM : TO BE TALL.”