Challenge #: 30
Genre: Humour
Rating: T
Likes: A girl with a crazy cat. Randomness galore. A hot guy ;).
Dislikes: Um... A corny ending? Like, "'I don't know if he'll forgive me!'... But guess what? He did."
Words/phrases to use: Cumquat, Trumpet, Tulip

Maid to Perfection
Chapter One: Once Upon A Trumpet
By: Queen Beryl

Once upon a time there was a beautiful hero who saved the world from the evil clutches of the hideous villain. And they all lived happily ever after.

What a lot of bull. First off, the prettier the hero, the cockier they get, and it goes all downhill from there. Second, evil sometimes wins. Yes, yes they do; no matter how good the hero is.

Forgive me; I digress.

Let’s tackle the big questions, like: who am I? Why am I here? And what is my purpose in life?

Well, I’m Alicia Salazar, and I’m here because some deity hates me. Also because I’m a hero. Maybe not a super hero, but I’ll explain later. And my purpose is sadistic entertainment for said deity. I swear someone in high power hates me.

I firmly believe that there are two types of people in the world: dog people and cat people. And these people never get along.

This is one of the reasons why I happen to not get along with Toby Frost. He’s not an archenemy or anything; he’s just so annoying with his “my dog is so great.” This isn’t the only problem; my cat happens to adore him. She practically worships Toby.

Traitor.

She also has no idea she’s a cat; if she did, she wouldn’t keep hitting on Toby. He was gorgeous… and my cat was attracted to him.

This isn’t even the worst part. You see, Toby Frost is my boyfriend’s best friend, so I just can’t get rid of him.

Like right now.

“Give it back, you idiot!” I yelled, reaching for my wallet. Toby had taken it from me. Again.

“Now, now, Dear Heart, you shouldn’t grab at things.” Toby reprimanded, yanking the wallet just out of my reach. I turned to my boyfriend, Gabriel Grayson.

“Gabe, are you just going to let him do this to me?”

“Toby, give Alicia back her wallet.” Gabe said half-heartedly. I hit him then reached again for my wallet.

“Where’s your loyalty to your girlfriend?” I demanded as Toby shoved me away.

“I have plenty of loyalty to you, sweets.” Gabriel answered, flipping a page in the manual he was reading. It was the latest Cars: Revved Up magazine. Gabriel is obsessed with cars. I sighed, defeated.

“See, he’s not even paying attention to you,” Toby sounded victorious. “Tsk squared.”

“That’s not funny. Nothing you say is funny.” I rolled my eyes as I walked in between Toby and Gabriel.

“You know you want me.” Toby wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Are you going to let him try and steal me away?” I asked Gabriel. Gabriel muttered something, turning another page. How could he even read and walk at the same time?

“Only if he doesn’t actually succeed.” Gabriel flipped through the magazine. I frowned and launched myself at Toby, effectively catching him off his guard. We tumbled to the rough-hewn concrete slab in a heap. I ripped my wallet from his vile clutches and let out a cry of victory.

“You sound like a goat.” Toby laughed.

“I do not sound like a goat.” I jammed my wallet into my back pocket when Toby’s hands found themselves to my waist, temporarily preventing me from rolling off him.

“Wait, don’t move. I might just succeed in stealing you.” Toby winked and smiled wickedly. I shoved him as I stood up.

“You’re disgusting. I don’t know why Gabe puts up with you.”

“It’s my good looks.” Toby winked at me again. I rolled my eyes.

“If you had any.” I retorted and rushed after Gabriel, who had continued walking. “Where are we going, anyway?”

“I told you, it’s a surprise.” Toby said when Gabe remained silent. Toby reached over and yanked the magazine from his friend’s hand.

“Hey!” Gabriel protested, finally zoning into reality. “That’s mine!”

“Yes, and I’m borrowing it. Your girlfriend is annoying me. I’ll meet you back at the… place.” Toby winked heavily and dashed off down the street. I had no idea what he was on about.

“Right. Shall we?” Gabe slung an arm around my shoulders and guided me toward… well, I wasn’t sure where.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“It’s a surprise.”

“Yeah, I heard that, but I-” Gabe stopped my speech and put a finger to my lips.

“Shh. Don’t talk.” He led me onward. We wove our way through the streets, the warm sun shining bright. No matter how much I pestered Gabriel about where we were going, he refused to give in. After we’d been walking for about ten minutes, Gabe stopped me.

“We’re here?” I demanded, looking around. We were stopped at the end of a residential area.

“No. Close your eyes and don’t peek.” Gabe covered my eyes with one of his hands and we began walking. We stopped all of a sudden and Gabriel removed his hand. “Tada!”

I blinked and looked around. We were at Toby’s house.

“We’re… at Toby’s.” I said slowly, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes. And what is today’s date?” Gabriel prodded.

“June ninth.” I answered. I searched Gabriel’s face for any clue as to what he was attempting to get at. Gabriel sighed heavily, and had the air of resigning himself to something.

“Trumpet.” He said.

“Oh!” I exclaimed, my cheeks heating up. “I’m so sorry I forgot. Happy Anniversary.”

“Ditto. Come on in. I have a surprise for you.”

“What is it?”

“A surprise.”

“I hope its Toby… unconscious in a ditch.”

“You can at least pretend to like him.” Gabe nudged me with his elbow as we stepped up to Toby’s front door. It opened the moment we got to it. Toby stood there, with a dishtowel over one arm.

“Welcome. Please come in.” Toby tried extremely hard not to smile. Gabe and I entered and Toby shut the door behind us. “Let me guide you to your table.”

We were escorted to Toby’s dining room table, where all but two chairs were removed, and two place settings were visible. I smiled. Gabe and I sat down while Toby ran off to get the food.

“This is a great surprise.” I whispered to Gabriel. “And I can’t believe you got Toby to play along.”

“It didn’t take much convincing; he was overjoyed at being able to be apart of this.”

“Dear Heaven, he poisoned the food!” I exclaimed. Gabe rolled his eyes.

“Can’t you ever be serious?”

“No. Can’t you ever be playful?”

“No.”

“Opposites attract.” Toby stated, coming into the room. He smiled down at me and winked. Oh, yeah, he poisoned the food.

“We’re not that opposite.” Gabe defended as his plate was set in front of him. Toby shrugged and removed the napkins from on top of the plates. I burst into laughter.

“Hot Pockets?” I demanded through my laughs. Toby reached over and smacked my shoulder.

“Don’t criticize the waiter slash cook. They’ll spit in your food.” Toby stated. I rolled my eyes. Toby then disappeared, and that’s where everything got dull. And by dull, I mean very, very boring. All Gabriel would talk about was the body… of a car. I nodded and poked my Hot Pocket. We’d been together for a year today… and for some reason, I just didn’t want to celebrate if this was what it meant.

Just when I was at the brink of losing my sanity, I heard the trumpet. I immediately giggled, and Gabe stopped mid-sentence. Toby marched in, playing some random song I couldn’t recognize on his trumpet.

“Once upon a time… about a year ago… today, there was a trumpet player who played and played beautifully. Then a beautiful alliance was made. Alicia,” Toby looked down at me, then over at Gabe, “Gabriel…. May you both live on in the beautiful song of my trumpet.”

“How romantic.” I rolled my eyes.

“Shh! This is my moment to shine!” Toby blew his trumpet at me.

“You’re not even telling the story right,” Gabriel shook his head slightly.

“Yeah, I heard awful music and I wanted to find out what it was. So, I walked toward the noise where you and Gabe were having band practice in your open garage. And it was sort of instant attraction. Not to you.” I clarified at Toby. He grinned.

“You know, if we didn’t hate each other so much, we might just be friends.” Toby grinned. I clicked my tongue.

“Yeah, right. You and I could never be friends.”

“Well, at least you have the joy knowing you’ll be stuck with me forever.”

“And the worst part is I’m dating his best friend.” I sighed and rolled my brown eyes. Gabriel laughed.

“So much for giving me thanks.” Toby set his trumpet aside.

“Thanks for what?” I asked.

“Getting you together with my mad trumpet skills and planning your super secret anniversary dinner-type meal!” Toby winked at me and blew kisses at Gabriel. I shook my head just as my cell phone started vibrating. I pulled it halfway out of my pocket, and realized it was the cell phone I’d received from the Governor. I stuffed it back down in my pocket.

“I’ll be right back.” I jumped up and rushed to the bathroom. I pulled the phone out and opened it.

“Omega Guardian,” the Governor’s voice was deep and sounded a bit frantic.

“Yes sir,” I answered in a whisper, waiting to hear of the latest catastrophe.

“A villain has arisen. His name is Cat Eye-”

“Let me guess, he’s like the Pied Piper and lures all the cats into the city to destroy us.” I rolled my eyes.

“You already know about him?” The Governor sounded amazed. I nearly dropped my cell.

“You’re serious! No flippin’ way!” I exclaimed before remembering I was in the bathroom and nobody was supposed to know I was on the phone.

“He’s in Area Square One, playing on his flute. I expect this mess to be cleaned up within the hour.” The Governor said and hung up. I closed my cell phone and slipped it back into my pocket.

“He’s serious. A Pied Piper of cats. These villains just get cornier and cornier. Where is all the originality?!” I cried before throwing open the bathroom door. I really hoped Toby and Gabriel didn’t hear me.

“…went okay?” Gabriel was asking as I came towards the place I last left them. I paused on the other side of the corner to listen.

“Of course it went okay. She probably just had to fix her make-up or whatever it is women do in bathrooms forever.” Toby answered. I rolled my eyes. I had to make this good; I didn’t want them suspecting anything.

“Guys,” I groaned, holding my stomach as I rounded the corner, “I’m so sorry.”

“Are you okay?” Toby and Gabriel exclaimed together. I was a bit shocked at how concerned they both appeared to be.

“I feel really nauseous. I’ve got to cut our anniversary date short. I’m sorry.” I sucked in air very quickly through my teeth and shut my eyes tight. A chair scraped on the floor and I felt arms around my shoulders, supporting me. I opened my eyes to see Gabriel going toward the front door, holding it open. I turned my head to see Toby looking intently at me, making sure I was alright. He squeezed his arms and smiled.

“You’ll be alright. Gabe’ll get you home. Take some Pepto-Bismol or Tums or something.” Toby suggested as he guided me toward the door. “Get some rest, too.”

“Yeah, right next to the toilet.”

“Sure, pray to the porcelain gods.” Toby winked and lightly patted my back. He helped me into Gabriel’s awaiting arms and waved as we walked away.

“I’m sorry, Gabe,” I groaned, relaxing against Gabe’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry about it. You just get better and you can make it up to me later.”

“You mean by buying you another car magazine?”

“Of course.” Gabe laughed as we reached my house, which was about four houses down from Toby’s.

“Thanks, sweetie.” I leaned over and kissed Gabriel’s cheek and pulled out my house keys from my pocket, remembering to act sick. I shut the door behind me with a sigh. I ran up to my room and quickly changed into my hero costume.

My outfit consisted of custom-made blue cargo shorts and a matching short-sleeve shirt with my hero name on the back in black. I pulled my long black hair back into a ponytail and tied the matching blue mask onto my face to cover my eyes and nose. I was extremely proud of my outfit – I’d made it myself. I admired my work in my bedroom mirror that was stuck to the back of my door before I headed out.

I snuck out the backdoor, took a look around to make sure nobody was around to see me, and I rushed off toward Area Square One. I was a fast runner, by nature and due to my powers. I didn’t have any significant powers, but I had a lot of little ones. I was what is known in the business as a Rounder; I basically have a little of a lot of things.

“Thank the Political Office you came!” A frantic voice jolted me from my rambling thoughts. I frowned at the Governor. He was sweating profusely and his brown eyes were wild. “You can defeat him, can’t you?”

“I don’t even see him or the cats.” I turned full circle with a shrug. The Governor sighed with the air of having to explain a simple concept to me. I narrowed my eyes behind the mask. I didn’t like being condescended to; especially by him.

“Omega Guardian, he’s around the corner.” The Governor pointed to the right, his eyebrows raised high onto his forehead. I stalked around the building and discovered my current nemesis: Cat Eye.

Who was dressed as a cat. Whiskers and all.

So, I did what any sane hero would – I burst into laughter. This, of course, drew the attention of Cat Eye and his feline followers.

“So, you have come because you believe you can defeat the great Cat Eye?” The man purred. I giggled.

“I came because you’re using cats to do your job.” I retorted. I looked around and saw something I hadn’t expected. “Hex!”

My black cat, Hex, was amongst the group of hypnotized felines that were under Cat Eye’s jurisdiction. Now it was time for me to get serious. I love Hex, and there’s no way I was going to let this fruity cat-freak use my beloved pet against me. I had to stop him.

“Well, pretty little girl, prepare to be destroyed by my amazing capabilities!” Cat Eye whipped out a pan flute and began to play something that sounded so beautiful, I stood there and listened. I didn’t even notice the cats approaching me until it was too late. I was about to be apart of a feline frenzy. It was catastrophic.