Quiet Abandon

The first born into a life

Full of chaos and misery

Protector from so much strife

You were more than a sister to me.

Dimpled, blue-eyed wonder

So much older than your years

Consoling a child blown asunder

With love you’d wipe away her tears.

Standing up to one full of deceit

Full of jealousy and contempt

More often than not you were the one beat

Instead of whom the punishment was meant.

Blind to the effort you bestowed

Words of praise were rarely spoken.

Seeds of uncertainty were carelessly sowed

Into a heart that had been broken.

Indifference became your best friend

An ally who subtly deceived

By denying what needed to mend

Self love could not be received.

The child within got tired

Of carrying the load alone

Its patience had expired

To you it would be known.

Sadness, anger, pain and remorse

Came flooding down upon you

There was no escape from the source

Retribution was long over due.

In order not to cause offense

The bridle was turned within

You saw yourself not worth two pence

So the healing could not begin.

Your feelings need expression

Not to cast blame or revile

But to state an honest confession

And abandon the denial.

She needs to see her merit

To her you must entrust

It’s up to you to ferret

The part of you that is just.

To do this would open the gate

To one you’ve kept hidden

Love would replace the hate

For her presence is no longer forbidden.