He stood on the balcony which was just outside of his room, staring at the moon. It was an October night, the breeze was just right. He felt a warm tear fall from his deep blue eye onto his hand. Every now and then he would look to the right hoping, he'd be standing there. With one last hope that it never happened, that it was all a nightmare.

“Only one last time shall I ever say his name…” he said softly. “Only twice shall I ever think of him…” he said, turning away from the moon and leaning on the ledge. “And…only forever shall I remember him.” He walked away from the ledge and walked back to his room, turning back just before entering the doorway. “I was not strong enough to let him go, I was not weak enough to cry as hard as I wanted to. I denied it to much to believe it.” He went inside, locking the glass windowed doors behind him. He sat on his bed, grabbing a tissue.

He did this every night. He went out to the balcony, looked at the moon, talked to himself, recited the same thing over and over, came into his room, and cried himself to sleep. He had never used to be like this, till the day he met the man he was meant to spend the rest of his life with. But somewhere along the way destiny intercepted their destiny as a couple…

One year ago.

The fresh scent of coffee came from downstairs. He awoke with a smile, as he knew Antonio was already up. He dragged himself out of the bed and put his robe on. He walked out of the bedroom and ran to the bathroom to take a quick shower. Once he got out, he went back to the room to change into his work clothes. But, only to find that Antonio was sitting there on the bed without a shirt.

“Morning…” Antonio said. He got up and smiled. “And how are you today Carlos?”

Carlos grinned as Antonio came up to him and wrapped his arms around his neck. Antonio then kissed him. Carlos was taken aback because usually in the morning Antonio would mope around the house. “Um, is something wrong?” Carlos said.

“No…why does something have to be wrong?” Antonio responded, while walking back to the bed and sitting down.

“Well you usually aren't very…um, what’s the word?” Carlos thought for a second. “Oh, yes you aren't always this…romantic in the morning.” he said, while walking into the closet to get a tie.

“Oh c'mon now, no need to go back into the closet, you just came out of it.” Antonio let out a laugh.

”Ha-ha, that’s so funny. Hun, where’s my red and white stripped tie?” he said while moving boxes around.

“Oh, c'mon, you were going to wear that tie with that?” Carlos sighed, “You know you'd think you'd have some taste in fashion since you're gay, but no…”

“Hey, that’s not fair…now where is it?”

Antonio sighed, “You won't get it…” he grinned.

“You didn't,” he paused, looking around clueless of what Antonio had done with it, “What did you do?”

Antonio patted his crotch, “Ah right here my love, right…here…” he smiled.

“Oh you tease…” Carlos laughed. “So tempting, but I think I'll wear something else now…”

Antonio frowned, “Aw, and I was waiting for the fun…” he pouted.

“Yea, you include fun as drinking a slushy till you get a major brain freeze.” Carlos said while shaking his head.

“Hey now that was ONE time…” he tilted his head, smiling as he remembered the event. “Ah, it was fun though.”

“Yea, so fun I had to rush you to the hospital because you had one too many and we thought you brain was frozen…”

“Well…” Antonio sighed, “I thought I had told you about the whole thing about me having weird phases when drinking cold beverages…”

“Well,” he leaned on a nearby dresser, “then tell me why you drank 5 of those?”

“Um, I would be so glad to tell you about that…” Antonio heard a ding downstairs, “But, muffins are done! Have to go get them!” With a fake smile he rushed out of the room.

Carlos sighed as he turned back to the closet trying to find a different tie to wear. “Oh, what to do with him?” he asked himself.

From downstairs Antonio screamed, “WOULD YOU GET OUT OF THAT CLOSET! I DON’T NEED TO GOING BACK INTO IT.” he let out a loud chuckle.

“Heh…” Carlos chuckled quietly. What would I do without him?

Antonio was singing as Carlos came down the spiral stairs. He was dancing around the kitchen while singing a song from the musical, “The Sound of Music” he paused for a second and resumed.

“Hey…I told you about the wedgies.” Carlos said as he sat down laughing. To hide the unbearable laughter he took a sip of his coffee.

“Oh, I see Mr. Funny are we today!” he skipped over to the table setting a plate of: bacon, eggs, pancakes, and orange juice. “Now what do you say?”

“Um, next time try a spin at the end.” He turned away to let out a laugh. He loved to tease Antonio.

“Hmph!” Antonio said as he turned sharply on his heel and turned away. “Well you remember that my dear Car-los when you’re feeling a little happy at 4:30 in the morning…” Antonio said mocking Carlos’ laugh.

“Aw c’mon babe!” he looked at his watch as he gasped. “Oh crap! I’m running late!” He got up from his chair and put his jacket on. “Well hun I have to go now.” He went up to Antonio and kissed him on the lips. “I’ll see you when I get home k?” He said as he grabbed his briefcase and his car keys. He headed out the door with a wave goodbye.

“5...4...3...2...” Antonio said to himself aloud. “1...”

Carlos came rushing back in, “Hey where is my lunch mon-”

“On the table by the door.” Antonio sighed and quietly said, “Like it always is” he giggled quietly and took a sip of his orange juice.

“What did you say hun?” Carlos said while grabbing his money.

“Oh nothing dear…have a good day!” Antonio said.

“Oh, okay thanks!”

“Hey Carlos…” Antonio said quickly.

Before totally closing the door Carlos yanked himself back into the house. “Yea…” he said out of breath.

“Um, what would happen if you ever lost me?” Antonio said slowly.

“Oh, that’s easy…”

“Oh really, is that so?” Antonio said while taking another sip.

“Yea,” he paused taking a breath. “I wouldn’t be able to live without you…I thought I told you that…”

Antonio nodded remembering that Carlos has said that before.

“Okay…anything else?” Carlos said quickly.

“Nope…bye now.” Antonio said waving goodbye.

Antonio watched as Carlos drove off. He turned away from the window and sighed deeply. He hadn’t been feeling well lately. But he couldn’t figure out what was wrong. He glanced around the house. He may have not known what it was, but he knew it wasn’t good. He got dressed and went for a walk.

Later that day.

Carlos was still working in his office. He had regretted the day he dreamt of being a lawyer. He had just been assigned the hardest case of all time. It was a lawsuit against the government for supposedly cheating someone out of their taxes. Now he had to find evidence that the government really did cheat the guy with his taxes. He had to go through piles of files and read through all of them by 9:00 (it was already 8:40 and he was barely finished).

“Mr. Cruz” said Carlos’ boss. Walking into the room. “Are you finished yet?”

Carlos hated being called by his last name. “No sir I’m barely done.”

“Well what’s taking you so long?” he said with a cold voice.

“Well I’m sorry but trying to prove the government guilty isn’t exactly easy.” He said while rubbing his temples. He felt a major headache coming on.

As his boss was about to say something the phone rang. Thank god…

Carlos picked up the phone giving his boss a “one minute please” gesture.

“Is this Mr. Carlos Cruz?” said I a lady with a dull tone.

“Why yes it is. May I ask who’s calling” he asked trying to keep himself awake (that’s how dull her voice was).

“Hello, this is Community Hospital.”

“Uh, yes is something wrong?” Carlos responded.

“Do you know someone by the name of Antonio Rivera?”

Carlos’ heart felt a hard hit of pain. He struggled to respond. “Uh-yes I do…”

“Okay, well he was brought in by an ambulance and we needed to call his reference number to help us identify him.”

“Well why can’t he tell you himself?”

“Mr. Cruz…”

Carlos hung up and rushed out of his office with his jacket and keys. He told his boss what was going on. Then he left getting into his car and driving as fast as he could to the hospital. When he finally got there and found a parking space. He ran into the hospital going straight to the front desk.

“Mr. Cruz…” said the nurse who had spoken to him earlier.

“Where is he…” Carlos said out of breath.

“He’s in stall four…go ahead.”

Carlos rushed over to the stall seeing a couple doctors and nurses surrounding Antonio. He approached. Staring at Antonio’s pale skin. He looked so, dead.

“Hello?” Carlos said breaking the doctor’s murmurs.

“Oh, hello and you are?”

“I-I was contacted to come confirm who he was.”

“Ah, Mr. Cruz. So how do you know him? Brother? Cousin? Friend?”

“Uh…no” he paused, “Lover…what happened?”

The doctors stood quiet for a second.

“Oh c’mon like you have haven’t seen a gay couple before.”

The doctors stared at Carlos. One of the doctors cleared his voice. “Um Mr. Cruz, have you noticed a change in Antonio’s activities or abilities.”

“Um, no he’s been fine…why?”

“Because, he came in and we thought he was close to dying…but it seems that he’s be suffering with the lost of white blood cells.” The doctor then stopped talking.

“Leukemia…” Carlos said quietly.

“Hey Carlos…”

“Yea…”

“Um, what would happen if you ever lost me?”

“He knew…” Carlos said, “And he never told me…he’s been dying this whole time…and I never knew it…” he laid his head on Antonio’s stomach and sobbed. “And now it’s too late…”