Author: beautiful. only tempermental PM
i drew forty seven hearts on the linoleum and forty eight were for you and your total lack of trust in me.Rated: Fiction T - English - Poetry/Angst - Words: 923 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 08-31-06 - Status: Complete - id: 2239667
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trust me,you said, you have nothing except dependence and i could never depend on someone so small.
and i must confess that i believed in suicide until the day i met you. if there's one thing i learned from you it's that scars do fade and maybe you'll forget me but i'll always sense you behind me, i'll always trust you'll be there.
you told me you were headed for disaster and i didn't believe you. teeter on the edge like me, i told you. always be one string short of breaking. and trust your balance.
my string was pretty elastic, but you still managed to- snap and a cry that held silent. would i go back now and speak? fragments of thought and what did you just cross out? you never let me read and you didn't finish your sentence. guess there's a reason you're a failure. they'll take you away soon. trust me.
we're all frustrated, you drive people into the deep end with your eyes. you've got complete control- complete trust- and yet bloodshot and wet you tremble.
i drew forty seven hearts on the linoleum and forty eight were for you and your total lack of trust in me.
yes, it was a tuesday. leather jackets and guitars and tears of total trust. you make me sick. you didn't know it, though. but still. blame's a bitch.
drown. i'm telling you, it'll be faster. you're never going to be clean again. and you're head is underwater already, not even my love can save you and quiet, don't cry, i can't stand to see you trust me.
this song's too slow and it reminds me of you- beautiful and i hate it and i've never been colder and you've never looked so alive but hope needs no breath. it doesn't even need trust and i'm counting on me not needing it either.
don't let go, i'm warning you, i'm all you have left. you're defenseless and let's just try. closer. those hips are telling me lies. you're don't have that much power, just let me hold you for once and just trust that i won't let you go.
maybe it was just a wrong time, wrong place thing- no, i made my bed, i have to lie in it, with or without you. and you said with such eloquence that you were a virgin by choice. now i realize fear isn't such a martyr. fear always has to trust it won't be put to the test because a lot of sympathy is faked.
it's so simple, how did you screw it up again? all you had to do is change the past, forget the future, live in the moment and trust that you don't go out of your mind alone. you're not alone here, i'm bound. release my wrist and never mind... i hope jealously claims your throat, too.
i'm scared and i won't let you chase away the pain because your shadow brings more fear than your smile. which bone will you break this time? i trust you to leave me heart alone, you never wanted much to do with that, you knew your place.
choke. it has no effect on the blind/deaf/dead. but sometimes i honestly forget to breathe, or am i just hoping for mouth to mouth or even eye to eye because i trust you'd want to see me struggle.
walk away, fuck away... even if it's not you, i can pretend. do you know i actually considered going home with him, just to forget your glare? stop trying to fool me, i trust you only want glory.
but you can't save me. you can't even save yourself. and i'm watching, waiting. because i trust time. except i'm losing you again and i'm not looking for answers just logic.
how far down before i hit rock bottom and find a way to fall through? you wouldn't remember, you crashed years ago, and i can't believe you're that weak. i can't believe i'm this strong. i can't believe trust is this meaningless.
so follow me, i'll lead you into the dark and together we'll learn what it really means to trust.
because, baby, i'm not ready to give up on love. i can give up on you daily but it won't matter- you're something of a one night stand. and you can trust that i'll be there in the morning because you still haven't paid me yet.
but walk away... don't look back this time. trust me, i'll just be standing there, writing a letter in my head. i could tell you... mistakes will be forgiven eventually and lust will only betray you if you close your eyes and think of me.
but you can figure that out on your own. you certainly have enough alone time on your hands. because i'm not going to scream in your sleep anymore, i'll finally let you rest. i'll finally let you trust.
i couldn't depend on you if i was taller, i said, trust me.
a/n: i still trust him... i trust him to let me down.