He wasn’t sure why he was back here again, after so long. These streets didn’t look the same, especially now covered in a thick sheet of snow. This winter would be long and cold, he could feel it.

Everyday was dark, cast with melancholic blue as the flakes fell heavily onto the empty streets. He remembered a place full of life and color, with the smiles of the ones he loved before he had been driven away. This town had lost its joy a long time ago.

But still he sat, in the kitchen he was all too familiar with. The tea kettle was whistling on the stove and the faint sounds of the radio were coming from the living room as he stared down at a cup of coffee, steaming up and warming the tip of his nose when he leaned in to sip it from his iced hands. Winter days made him feel drained, the silence was drowning him and all he could do was think.

He had left when things went sour, when people didn’t care anymore. He left to get away from what he hated and what he knew he could not mend. Perhaps, it was cowardly to pack up and take off so suddenly, but it was for the sake of his own sanity that he did so. So why was he regretting it so much now?

That face was the only reason he would think of staying, but he went on without it anyway. His selfishness overrode his feelings for a gentle soul in a time when things were all too confusing and all too chaotic. He turned his back and never thought twice until now. He owed his life to this person , although she would never dream of forgiving him.

He was walking now, down the streets he had grown up on that he knew like the back of his hand, even now. Memories flooding back in rapid flashes and images. He could still hear the laughter of children and the patting of their sneakers against the pavement. He heard jovial screams as they were doused with water under the heated summer sun. Those seasons didn’t last as long as he had hoped for.

He stared at the dark, dead bark of the oak tree with its long branches once full of crisp autumn leaves in shades of crimson and gold. They swayed majestically in the breeze and young ones ran in circles below it. They’d gather up the leaves into a pile and tackle one another into the sweet smelling bed of colors. They’d wrestle until they got tired and a chill came into the air as the sun began to set.

Now, these children had grown and moved away. They had forgotten all about this place by now, as their parents stayed there and aged. Maybe they’d come back to visit on holidays, faking smiles while inside they were screaming. Their youth was long gone and they had nothing to hold on to but the shattered pieces of failed marriages and delinquents of their own to raise. Things were different now, and the young didn’t appreciate the littler things. They found no joy in the soft blades of grass beneath their fingers, or spending all day out on the black tar playing with an old ball. They were locked up in their rooms, wired into technology and being babysat by TV screens.

As these thoughts invaded his mind, he slowed his steps and turned slowly to the left, facing the street. He saw the tall, white house with the gray trim and a tire swing still roped up in the front. It also seemed his eyes were playing trick on him because he could see that girl, with the raven hair and deep blue eyes staring back at him.

But no, it wasn’t just a mirage. She was there, but she was older. She had grown but she looked as soft and wispy has 10 years prior with cheeks stained rosy red from the cold. She stared back at him, but her face did not change. It was void of anything, not happiness nor depression. Not shock or dismay.

She was clutching a shovel in her hands, in front of the old house he had been inside more times than he could count. He wondered if she remembered him, or if she was just wondering what t his strange man was doing, wandering around in the dead of winter as the day got darker.

He wished so badly to speak, but his voice would not allow it, and nor would his mind. He choked back on a million words he had been saving up for this very moment and now they just wouldn’t come. Instead, he lifted a gloved hand and waved. She hesitated for a moment before she waved back to him.

This girl….this woman he had shared part of his life with. Maybe it was dumb, to think so deeply into something that had been passed off as puppy-love to everyone else, but he felt differently about it all. She had shaped his life, opened his eyes, and broken his heart.

The front door to the house opened and a small figure stepped out. She hopped over the banks of snow and giggled as the wind blew cold flake onto her warm cheeks. It pulled her dark hair away from her face and she was spitting image of the elder woman. With a cry of “Mommie!” she bounded up to the woman and clutched at her thigh. The woman was broken out of her reverie as she smiled down at the little girl and pat her on the head.

He sighed heavily as he watched the scene, either the cold or his realization putting a deep ache into his chest. He clutched his hands into his pocket, looking at them one more time before he began walking again. He should of known, that things would have been drastically different. Maybe he hoped foolishly that when he left time would stand still for him. But the fact of the matter is that time does not wait for anyone, and we must take our chances as they are given. He smiled slightly to himself, burying his nose into his scarf as he returned home.