Rappin’ Wit’ Poe

Gangsta’ version, ya’ hear

I lie in ma’ bed wit’ ma’ eyes open wide

As words glide through ma’ head like on a slick slip ’n’ slide

Da’ rappin’ uh da’ raven finds a haven in words

Dat quickly flick from ma’ pen like a thick flock uh birds

Poe manufactya’s men who ah mo’ messed up

Dan would be Adrian Monk in New Yoke City Dump

But let’s depart from da’ art uh da’ current times

And report uh da’ sort dat Edga’ Allen rhymes

Edgaaaaaaaaaa‘! (Edgar Allen Poe jumps out on stage and starts rapping)

This goes out

To all my homies

And to those

Who didn’t know me,

I’m Edga’ Allen Poe

I won’t be slow

From the get go

So let go

Of your sassy-pants smirks

This two-hundred-year-old

Still knows how rapping works

The Cask of Amantillado

Was a bottle of wine

So fine

It inclined Fortunato

To leave reason behind

As did the scraggly, ugly eyeball

Of that weird old fart

That my main man murdered

In ‘The Tell-Tale Heart’

The perilous pendulum

Sure was the pits

The serenade

By its blade

Just made one want to split

And that repetitious raven

Became such a bore

If I’d just bust a cap in him

He’d squawk nevermore

So if you think I’m morbid

Or that I’m morose

That I’m bleak, weak, or weary,

That I’m eerie or gross,

If you claim

That I’m lame

I’m not up with the times

Or you resign

Yourself to whine

‘Bout my receding hair line

If you surmise

You can rise

To a mightier size

Than I could climb

In my prime

To a poetry prize

If you think my ink lacks spunk

That I can’t capture krunk

I will roast

Those who boast

Try to out-prose this ghost!

If you enjoyed this track by Edga’ Allen Poe, then check out his upcoming album, “Poe, the Poetry Pro from the Ghetto”!