
There are good memories and there are bad ones. Sometimes, though it hurts even to remember the good ones. - Femslash
Rated: Fiction T - English - Angst/Drama - Words: 1,626 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Published: 09-04-06 - Status: Complete - id: 2241545
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We were in the ninth grade when we first met. I didn't notice her at first. I was to busy trying to make myself invisible to even notice anyone. Two weeks after I started school she finally approached me and introduced herself.
I thought she was incredibly rude when she sat down at the table and invited all her friends to come sit with her. I ignored her through the entire lunch, but she didn't let that stop her. She just kept on talking and talking, even though it was obviously apparent that I was trying my best to pretend she and her strange group of friends weren't there.
She approached me at the end of that day, asking me if I wanted to come over at her house for the afternoon to study- or something like that. Truthfully I never believed she wanted to study. She simply didn't seem like the type who would suggest such a thing.
... you must know I realized this even though I had only known her for an hour or two at the most. Pathetic, isn't it?
She was always like predictable like that. Anyone around her could easily predict something she was going to do or say, even before she had said or did it. She was just that type of person. For the next three weeks after I had politely turned down her offer to do the 'hanging out' I suppose I became a sort of... conquest to her. She was determined to become my friend and no matter how many times I told her to leave her alone, she just kept on bothering me and inviting herself to sit with me during lunch.
One person could only take so much and after nearly a month of stalking, annoying, and pretty much making me want to throttle her on sight, I caved and agreed to go out with her and her two male friends, who were even stranger then her.
It turned out better than I expected it to be. Kris wasn't such a bad person to be around and neither were her two friends, Ryan and Trent. They were all very charming, actually. Yes, an odd and slightly old fashion word, but I thought it was a perfect fit at the time.
...but even if I had a good time that night, it didn't mean I opened up to them right away. It took awhile, because of my issues with trust and getting close to people. I was always a shy person. Social skills were never something I possessed and after the.... incidents, it only got worse.
Ten. I was ten when my mother was brutally raped and killed right in front of me. You can't imagine what sort of mental trauma this can cause for a young ten year old girl and after my grandparents died and I was shipped off to live with my absentee father, my social skills were pretty much as dead as the crypt keeper.
Besides, her and her two friends were completely different from myself. Trent was what you called a skater and I don't think I ever heard him utter one sentence that didn't somehow contain the word 'dude'. The other male, or Ryan, never took anything seriously and I to this day I have only heard him say something serious once.
...and last but not least, Kris. The brunette was a complete oddball from the day I meant her and her moods changed by the minute, literally. She was always getting in trouble with everyone and had such a bad attitude, that I couldn't fathom how someone like her would want to be friends with such a goody-goody nerd like me.
She once told me herself that she couldn't understand why she pursued me like she had and I don't think I'll ever really get an answer to that question. It took awhile. Quite a few months to be exact. It took nearly a year, but after a year I had opened up to them enough and considered all of them my friends and they thought the same as me.
Sounds like the perfect fairy tale doesn't it? Please, don't be fooled. It took a long time for me to feel comfortable with them and for all of them to accept me. However, Kris was the exception to this, because if it hadn't been for the annoying brunette, I wouldn't of even gave her a second glance.
After a year of dealing with those moronic boobs, I felt comfortable and was actually happy with my life, even if my home life with my father and my stepmother was slowly deteriorating. Then, that happy feeling was quickly replaced with confusion because of the one and only, Kristen Hayes.
She had invited me out one afternoon and I, of course, agreed to go because I had nothing else to do that day and spending an afternoon with the brunette didn't seem too bad. Just like it was planned, I met her in the park and we sat on that one bench for nearly ten minutes, before Kris decided to finally acknowledge my presence.
This angered me quite a bit, because she had been the one to invite me here after all. When all she did say was hello, I turned to her, prepared to snap at her. However, I was not prepared when she innocently pressed her lips to mine and nor was I prepared when I felt myself responding to the kiss myself.
I don't know who was more shocked. It could of been me, or it could of been Kris, because of how I actually responded to the kiss. I don't think she expected that. She probably expected me to push her away and not kiss her back.
It was by no means a perfect first kiss. It was clumsy on both our parts, Kris having a bit more experience then me because I was ashamed to say that my friend tended to get around.
We eventually parted because we, of course, had to breathe and as soon as my eyes met hers, I bolted. Looking back on it, I realize it was a poor decision, because running from something can never solve anything. I wish I had realized this then, because it would of made things so much easier for myself and Kris at the time.
I spent most of that day in my room, until finally at nearly eight o'clock at night, it dawned on me that my friend obviously liked me in a way that went way beyond friendship and I might actually feel the same way, because it wasn't like I pulled away when she kissed me.
.... though just because I came to this conclusion didn't mean it changed anything. I avoided Kris for nearly two weeks, until she finally cornered me one day after school and proceeded to kiss me until I was literally gasping for breath.
It was around that time I started to change my mind about Kris and I started to think of her in a way a girl would think of a boy. A few months into our relationship I asked the odd girl why she liked me and if she was always into girls. She responded by telling my she didn't believe in sexual orientation and thought that you like who you like.
I was shocked by her answer, because in all the time that I had known Kris, I had never, ever heard her say something so intelligent. After telling me this, she proceeded to ask me why I liked her. I told her I didn't really know and she seemed satisfied with this answer.
Our relationship was the same as any others. We had fights, we made up -and out- and tended to act a tad mushy in front of our friends. the only major difference was that we were two girls.
This was the main reason I kept it from my family. Kris's family, however, seemed to have no problem. Heck, her mother even once winked at us when she was asked if I could spend the night. Somehow, I think that wink started something, because that was the night we first had sex.
I was terribly scared that night. It wasn't planned and happened so suddenly, that I can't really tell you how or why it started. All I know is that it did and I really, really liked it and I'm pretty sure Kris did too if you consider the sounds she was making.
...though that happiness didn't last long. It happened a few days after our one year anniversary; that day also happening to be the day I first told Kris I loved her. The thing that happened was something I never would of expected.
A break-up. A few days after I told Kris I loved her, she dumped me and sometimes I wonder if my telling her that had something to do with it. It happened without an explanation and when I tried to ask for one, she simply snapped at me and told me she didn't wanted anything to fucking do with me anymore.
Her words exactly.
For days I was in a daze, now able to comprehend the situation, because I simply couldn't understand how someone who had pursued me with such a passion, was now hurting me in the worst way possible. It was after that incident that I tried to kill myself, because frankly I had just had enough of people hurting me.
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