I watch them as they sit under the tree. The smile, the laugh, the ever so slightly embarrassed embrace. His arms brushing over the back of her dress, hers’ recoiling from his neck as if burnt by his blush. The second as their smiling eyes meet, the instant the gaze is held and then wrenched away. She absent mindedly picks a stalk of grass from beside her foot, the tawny green slicing through the stillness surrounding them. He smiles and takes her hand, wrapping it up in his. “Thank you” the trace of his words in the air between them. The possessive tilt of his head, the lobbing upturned eyes, the bitter taste of freshly cut grass on my tongue. I turn away, I’ve seen enough. As I walk past they hush their whispered talk and turn to face me. She giggles and looks away. His ears, baby pink around the edges flush under my blank stare. “We need to talk” he says slowly and deliberately. The four most hideous words in the English language, nothing good ever follows “we need to talk”. My silence consents and she grins at me, her white teeth glinting in the sun (a predatory smile.). Malicious.

We walk out through the park, the warm sun on the back of my neck. I can register dimly that he is speaking to me, and I drag my eyes to his face. “I know we haven’t known each other very long” he’s saying, his eyes sad and worried as he speaks “you’ve already come to mean a lot to me”. The but is between us already, you can hear it splitting his lips “but…” and here it is. “ I don’t want us to carry on like this any more.” I feel the tears prick like knives behind my eyes and drag them back. My stomach lurches forward and my knees feel unable to support me, but he’s still speaking. “I want to be able to see more of you.” A tear escapes from my left eye, and slowly slides down my cheek. “I want to be able to see you every day.” My dull brain slowly digests his words. Still trying to catch up I turn to face him properly. “I want you to move in with me.” He says finally and I gaze at him in horror.