How to Write a Ten Minute Play in Ten Minutes- 7 -

How to Write a Ten Minute Play in Ten Minutes

The Characters

Eva- The control freak and leader of the group

Debi- The negative “squeaky wheel” of the group

Liz- The one who shouts random ideas

Norton- The nerdy video-game lover

Daisy- The wild Finnish exchange student

Dawson- An “Emo” poet

Setting: A Drama Classroom, Present Day

Directed by: Allyson

Written by: Ashley

1st Draft

August 23, 2006

Scene 1: Brainstorming

EVA- Okay, we’ve been assigned to write a ten minute play. Luckily, we drew comedy so it shouldn’t be too hard to pull off.

DAWSON- Dying is easy, comedy is hard.

DEBI- Lighten up Dawson, you’re so weird.

EVA- Come on, guys, this is no time to start an argument.

DEBI- Who made you the boss?

EVA- Well, I, uh… I’m the one with the most experience in Drama so it’s a given that I should be our director.

LIZ, DAISY- All hail our fearless leader! (Mock salute)

NORTON- We really should get started. Does anyone have any preliminary ideas?

DAWSON- Ideas are pointless, death is eminent. (ALL stare at DAWSON for a moment) What? Why do you stare at me in this manner?

LIZ- Anyways, I think that we should do a parody of a Fairy Tale.

EVA- Yeah! We can do a Fairy Tale Parody! That’d be so funny! What do you guys think?

NORTON- I like it.

DAISY- Yeah, yeah.

(The group leans in to watch as EVA begins to write the script.)

SCENE 2: TALES OF THE FAERIE PURSUASION

Eva- Once upon a time there was a scullery maid (DAISY leaps up) whose fairy “goth”father (DAWSON stands) was going to send her to the prince’s ball. Unfortunately, the scullery maid’s evil stepmother (DEBI stands and pantomimes ordering DAISY around) and cruel stepsister (LIZ points and silently laughs at DAISY’s plight) would not allow her to go nor give her time to assemble the materials necessary to create a dress for the ball.

DEBI- (gets out of the evil-stepmother character) Wait, wait, wait. Didn’t the class do a fairy-tale play last year?

LIZ- (looks defeated) Yeah, we did.

EVA- Looks like we need a different idea. (sinks into her chair)

DAWSON- See, I told you that ideas were pointless.

NORTON- I will not take a ‘zero’ for this project.

DEBI- Then present an idea, Norton “Antivirus.”

DAISY- (randomly rants an idea quickly in Finnish with the word “monkey” in there somewhere)

EVA- Uh, yeah. That’s a great idea Daisy. Anyone get that?

LIZ- I caught the word “monkey” and that was about it.

NORTON- Wait! I got it! A couple goes to a Zoological Garden and primates escape from their cage!

DAWSON- It’s not like we have anything better. O’ tis a foul day for thee, the nine muses, when we resort to becoming monkeys for a comedic effect. (hangs head)

SCENE THREE: TAKE ME TO A ZOO THAT’S GOT CHIMPANZEES

(DAWSON, EVA, and LIZ pretend to be Monkeys in a cage. DEBI is their bungling keeper. NORTON and DAISY become a young couple who decided to visit the Zoo.)

DEBI- Here Monkeys, lunch time! (mines placing out food, exits the cage but forgets to lock the cage door.)

ENTER DAISY AND NORTON

DAISY- Oh what a lovely day to visit the Zoo.

NORTON- Yes, the weather is simply superb. Look, there are the Exotic Felines!

DAISY- Oh, how I do love the lions. So majestic and prideful.

(All the while, the “Monkeys” discover that their cage door is unlocked as DAISY and NORTON look at all the other animals.)

DEBI- Oh no! The Monkeys have escaped!

NORTON- What do you mean: The Monkeys have escaped?

DEBI- Exactly that, they’ve escaped their cage and are now running about the Zoo!

(The monkeys come up and start to mess with the three. DAISY, NORTON, and DEBI can say such things as: shoo! Go away! ect.)

NORTON- This is one of the worst days of my life! I’m getting our money back!

DEBI- Oh man, that was bad.

EVA- It could be better!

DEBI- How, huh? How could it be better?

EVA- Well, I’m not sure but that’s why we have Liz.

LIZ- Huh?

EVA: How could that play idea be better, Liz? You’re the creative genius.

LIZ: Well, that’s a very good question. Let me get back to you on that. (turns around and converses with her invisible muse) I haven’t the slightest clue.

DEBI: Some creative genius. (scoffs)

LIZ: Let’s see you try to talk sense into my muse. He is a fickle one. (Dawson nods)

DAWSON: Indeed the muse is a most fickle character. He who has a muse must appreciate the muse lest the muse disappear and leave the writer or poet in a desert without the sweet, sweet water of inspiration. (again the group falls silent at DAWSON’S words) Alas, for the world does not understand me. (mimes attempting to slit his wrists)

NORTON: Wait, wait. I believe I do have a wondrous idea coming. We should do a play version of MORTAL COMBAT!!!!

DEBI: Whatever, let’s see what idiotic stuff we come up with now.

SCENE FOUR: PRESS START TO BEGIN SCENE

(DAWSON and NORTON appear as rivals about to fight. EVA acts as “referee.” DAISY “translates” for EVA, LIZ for DAWSON, and DEBI for NORTON.)

DAWSON: Speaks random words that sound like Japanese.

LIZ: You are my enemy, I must fight you to regain my honor.

NORTON: Also speaks random words that sound like Japanese.

DEBI: Yes, I will fight you for you are my adversary. You shall not defeat me.

DAWSON: again with the random words

LIZ: Let us begin our battle!

EVA: also speaks random words that sound like Japanese.

DAISY: This shall be a clean and honorable fight. Begin.

(NORTON and DAWSON bow to one another and begin a mock-fight, yelling out random words and attacks in a mock Kung Fu style. This goes on for a few moments until DAWSON loses to NORTON.)

DAWSON: random words that sound like Japanese

LIZ: I have lost. My honor is gone.

DAWSON: (mimes Japanese Samurai Suicide and falls down dead)

DEBI: Well, that’s more time wasted and another idea scrapped off the list.

EVA: Come on, guys, all we need is one really good idea. I mean something really good, really really good.

DAWSON: (still on the floor) Why do we have to strive so hard for naught? We are merely the playthings of the gods of creation. Oh happy rainbow that sings to us a song of death… (silence again. DAWSON has that effect on the group)

EVA: Someone has to have an idea. We will not stop until we have an idea, I forbid it! (pounds fist on the table)

DAISY: Oh oh! (again with the random Finnish)

EVA: Yeah, Daisy, I like that. Very nice. Anyone else have any input?

DEBI: Give it a rest, will ya. We just have to accept the fact that we won’t have a play and that we’ll fail the assignment.

EVA: I will NEVER allow that to happen.

(While DEBI and EVA are arguing, LIZ lays her head on the table. After a moment her head shoots up.)

LIZ: I have it! A day in the life of a Drama Student! (silence for a moment before everyone starts talking excitedly, trying to figure out exactly how to use the idea)

SCENE FIVE: A DAY IN THE LIFE

(Begin with DAWSON singing “The Circle of Life” as NORTON acts as if he’s coming into a room.)

NORTON: Hello, is this is Drama room?

DEBI: Yes, hi. Welcome to Competitive Drama. Meet the team. That’s Daisy, she’s working on her monologue. (Daisy stands at the far side of the “room,” talking to the wall.)

LIZ: (walks by) I’m headed out to the Potato. Mrs. B wants me to get some props for the upcoming play.

(DAWSON and EVA begin to move a pair of chairs to create something)

NORTON: What are they doing?

DEBI: Oh, when you perform a Duet, the only “set” you can use is two chairs. You must use them wisely. Hey, how’s it coming you two?

DAWSON, EVA: Poorly.

DEBI: I think that you’re going to fit in nicely with the group. (gets out of character) Does this even have a plot?

EVA: Thus far, no.

LIZ: (to DAWSON) Why does God let bad plots happen?

DAWSON: It’s okay, that idea is in a better place now.

EVA: We don’t have much time left before the bell. We have to come up with SOMETHING.

LIZ: I got it, I got it. (snaps fingers) “Created.”

NORTON: Beg pardon?

DEBI: It would be you, Norton.

NORTON: What. Why is it me?

DEBI: Apparently you’re the only one here who doesn’t watch STV.

EVA: Well, I don’t see how we can do anything with Created.

LIZ: Hey! It was just a thought.

DAWSON: We sat through all the other stuff. Why do we not at least attempt this one? I recall the earlier words of Debi: let’s see what idiotic stuff we come up with now.

DEBI: Guys, everything we’ve done thus far has gotten us nowhere. We’ve got only a few minutes until the bell, I say we give up.

LIZ: No, wait, I’ve got one last idea. Spy vs. Spy.

(Everyone becomes extremely excited and begins to stand to prepare something.)

DAWSON: We don’t have Jenelle.

ALL: Awww. (ALL sit, finally defeated.)

EVA: I’ve got a good idea. Everyone, we’re going to ditch tomorrow and just take a zero for the project.

(Postitive reactions all around. The Bell rings and the group files out, Leaving NORTON at the table.)

NORTON: A zero? I can’t take a Zero! GUYS?!?!