9/5/06

Introduction

“Mamá? Where’s Papá?” Little, five-year-old Inagoddadavida Jackson asked one evening, as the two of them sat in her mother’s dressing room.

“I kicked him out, darling.” Her mother—infamous cabaret performer Annabelle McGee—replied, as she some very ornate, blue-green eye shadow to her eyelids.

“How come?” Little Vida further interrogated.

“Because he is a douche bag, my love.”

“What’s that?”

“A man who, after seven years of living in sin with a woman and giving her a child, informs her that he’s been married all the while and just forgot to mention it, therefore making said woman just some sleazy mistress.” Annabelle explained.

“Oh… okay.” Of course, being five, Vida couldn’t quite comprehend this. “Where’d he go mama?”

“Donno. Probably back to Saint-Elmo-the-Third’s-Burg to beg forgiveness from his shrill, unpleasant wife.”

When Vida was finally old enough to understand what had happened with her parents, she became very bitter towards her absentee father. So one day—her sixteenth birthday, to be precise… why sixteenth? Because it’s a tragedy age, that’s why—Inagoddadavida Jackson set out for the ambiguous city known as Saint-Elmo-the-Third’s-Burg to give her father—the esteemed General Lou Jackson—a piece of her angsty, teenage mind.

(end)