Chapter 2

Sam wrote to me in English again today, Katie past it to me when I first got in. It was on pink paper. I opened it:

Casey

What the hell is wrong with you? I thought you mite get over what ever it is but you haven’t. You didn’t have to be such a jerk yesterday! I rang you when I got home and your mum told me you hadn’t even gone home, so much for needing to leave. She also told me that you never went away over the holidays. Casey I’m worried about you maybe you should see a physiatrist.

Concerned, Sam

I screwed up the paper not even looking at Sam I can’t believe her, she is the one trying to Dawson with Alex. I ignored her for the rest of English and then when she tried to talk to me when I started to walk to maths. I turned around and walked into the toilets.

I don’t know what to do anymore, I wish Dawson was here. Then Sam wouldn’t be all over replacing him. It’s only been a month since he died. After I left the toilets I didn’t go to maths, it would just be a repeat of English, Sam trying to get me to “open up” and tell me what is wrong.

I went to the nurses office and said that I had a headache, the nurse knew me well even though I rarely come she gave me some Panadol and let me lie down for the rest of the period.

When the school finally ended I avoided the usual path home and took the long way. I walked down to the shops, too many memories I thought. On the subject of memories Dawson’s mum wanted me to stop by one day to collect things I had left.

I walked to Dawson’s walking through the bush behind his house. Me and Dawson always use to play soldiers in the bush, then we would jump his backyard fence and think that we were safe.

I knocked on the front door, when Dawson was here I would usually just walk in. Ellie, Dawson’s mother had answered the door. She was surprised to see me. “Do you want something to eat or drink?” she asked curling a smile in her lips. Me and Dawson looked a like, maybe I should have came.

“You said I had left some stuff here?” I asked patiently, “oh yes, that’s why you’re here” she replied as she started to walk up the second story stairs. I followed her. I walked down the familiar halls where I spent a lot of my childhood. We turned at the second door in the hall and she left me.

I opened the door to Dawson’s room.

Everything was exactly the way it was, when I had last been there. His books and cough lollies still on his bedside table. I felt uncomfortable in his room. I sat on his bed. There was a box on the floor filled with bits and pieces. Dawson must had been cleaning his room.

I picked up the box and looked through it, nothing much just bits of junk. There were a few old baseball cards videos. I picked up one of his old pens from primary school where we use to put notes in and pass them to each other. I picked it up and put it in my pocket.

There wasn’t much of my stuff there just a few books that I lent to Dawson that he never ending reading.

I left Dawson’s as it started to rain. Dawson’s mother still watching me as I walked down his street, avoiding the mud the rain would have made in the bush behind Dawson’s house.

The hair in my face was now clinging together over my eyes. I need a haircut I thought, no I didn’t.

When I reached home I was drenched and I left foot marks all the way to my room. I sat on my bed listening to my ipod, my phone was beside me, I looked at the screen and noticed it was off. I turned it on and had no messages. I was looking through my old messages of Dawson’s when I noticed that his last message was weirdest:

I’m sorry about Sam and Me Dawson

What had Dawson mean? Why was he sorry, he didn’t do anything and what did Sam have to do with this. Everything was a mystery. Dawson took his mind with the bullet and now we wont ever be able to retrieve the information he wouldn’t’ speak.

I passed the time listening to more music when my mum had came in and told me she was going to bed and that I should do as well.

I undressed into my pyjamas when I had noticed the note-passing-pen still in my pockets. I stared at the pen and noticed a piece a paper inside. Astonished, it must have been a note from primary school. I pulled the lid of the pen and got out the piece of paper, it said: date: 1/08/2006

www.Makeoutkidsjournals/Indie-Dawson

I looked at the note and re-read it a few time, It was wrote the day before Dawson died.

I had heard of the site ‘makeoutkidsjournals’ before by a few kids at school, but I never knew Dawson had an account there.

I walked over to my computer and typed in the url to his account.

His last blog entry was also on the day before he died, it said:

She discovered my final secret,
the final part of me
It bore all my darkness
The broken romances-
were now un-fixable
She was killable

And I was cynical

Dawson

In the comment box, Alice Illiby, Dawson’s girlfriend had wrote:

Dawson it’s over get over it and now your just being a creep, you wait until everyone knows your dirty secrets!

Alice

I never knew Alice and Dawson had broken up, I guess it was because Alice had left town as quick as Dawson did. I guess she was just upset. Or maybe Dawson was afraid Alice would tell someone his “secret” that he supposedly had.

Dawson wouldn’t do that right? He had been my best-friend since forever. He would never you know, kill someone just because of a girl and a few secrets.

Or maybe I didn’t even know him at all.