And the mitten fell down.

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That had nothing to do with the story at all, I just wanted to have a really weird line as my first line. By the way, this is what I call an AI, or author intrusion. At various points in the book I may come in to say a couple words about life, the universe and everything.

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I settled into my seat just as the bell rang. I got ready. I revolved and talked to the kid next to me. I think his name was Alan. Either that or Tim. I've been in school for 2 months, and I still never got to know anyone's name. Everyone knew me of course, for obvious reasons. Reasons I won't disclose to you because it would ruin the story.

"Yo Alan." No response.

"Yo Tim?"

"You talking to me? I'm Chris." Rather then admit I made a mistake, I quickly looked to the guy behind him and then looked back at Chris.

"What? No, I was talking to Tim behind you."

"That's Mike." Damn, caught.

"Yeah I know man, I call him Tim just to piss him off. Jeez man, you think I don't know his name?" He gave me a look of "what a tard" and turned away to talk to some dame sitting on the other side of him.

"So, Mike, how are you doing?" He looked at me.

"Umm fine."

"So, you watch the game last night?"

"No."

"That's good, neither did I."

The door slammed shut and everyone shut up and pivoted in their respective seats to watch Mr. Smith come in. He started droning about rocks or something. I just turned back to talk to Mike.

"So, what do-"

"I'm sorry, am I interrupting you?" inquired Mr. Smith.

"Yeah, in fact I was talking about something of utmost importance, and you had the nerve to infringe on my sagacious exhortation. Don't worry though, I forgive you, my son." Then it hit me. In fact it hit me like a teacher swinging a giant textbook across my face and cracking bones with intensity that is only rivaled by the sound a car makes when it backfires. The most beautiful sound in the world. Nothing makes me happier. The sound of everyone laughing.

Some people call me a class clown, but I disagree with them. "Clown" is so under me. I excel "clown" blindfolded with all my limbs cut off. You can call me the class smartass. Has a nice ring to it. Rhymes too.