Author’s Note:

Alright, here’s the new chapter for CAS. I was planning to make it longer with more characters but since I’ve taken so long between updates, I figured I should just post it as is. Sorry about the delay. It’s been so long since I’ve worked on this story that I had to go back and read it and make chapter summaries just to remember what’s happening. I thought I would’ve had time off to write this summer but I had to home-school my little brother and sister and it took a lot of time out of the days to do it. That on top of work, I didn’t really feel like trying to concentrate on my writing. Anyway, this is what has come out during the last couple of mornings of sitting in front of the computer and here it is. Hope you enjoy it. Until next time…

Captive at Sea

CHAPTER THIRTY

Meanwhile, Brigitte was busy sulking in Murdell’s private cabin from her confrontation with Sebastien. She didn’t even hear her captor when he entered the room behind her. Lost in her own thoughts, she was, just like always. She selfishly pondered on her own pain and suffering and momentarily forgot about her husband’s condition. Then again, perhaps it was a conscious choice not to think about it. As usual, she was allowing her emotions to get the best of her. They seemed to be in control of her actions more often than not and she was still allowing them to now.

At the moment, she didn’t know which had more reign over her; anger or woe. She was angry with everyone, including herself. At the same time, she regretted her previous actions, which had led up to this point so greatly that she wished nothing more than to erase them all. She wanted to go back and undo everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours for a fresh start. For the first time, she hated the curiosity in her. She knew it had been responsible for getting her into trouble in the past but nothing this bad. She just didn’t know what to do about it.

She knew that her thoughts and actions were childish and whimsical. She was also well aware that others did not respect her as much as she’d like because of this cursed quality. She wanted to say that she was completely happy being the way she was, but it wasn’t really true. In a way, she recognized that her rebelliousness was nearly ruining her life. She began wondering why she never had the nerve to admit that to anyone. Perhaps she really was a coward. Apparently, that’s what Sebastien thought, as well as Murdell. She was on the verge of agreeing with them. That did not sit well with her at all.

Tired of the self-examination, for it only made her stomach hurt, she put it to rest and finally acknowledged Murdell. He wasn’t doing anything of interest, just pouring himself some of that wretched liquid before marking something on a map. Convinced she was finished with her curiosity; Brigitte remained in her spot and did not try to find out what it was. He finished his task and downed the rest of his drink in one gulp, slamming the glass down on the table. She couldn’t fathom how he could drink it as if it were water and not wince or gag. She had taken a gulp and it had felt as if her insides were on fire. She’d never understand and she was fine with that. She was starting to learn that some things are just not worth knowing.

“You’re awfully quiet,” Murdell commented without looking at her. “Still stewing from that kiss, are you, or did the words of your husband have more of an effect on you?”

“I don’t have any desire to talk about it, if it’s all the same to you,” Brigitte responded without emotion.

“Doesn’t surprise me,” Murdell admitted. “I mean, why would you? Your husband just rejected you and accused you of not living up to his expectations right in front of everyone. On top of that, your beautiful gown is ruined, your wedding night in shambles, and your trapped on a dirty ship filled with lowly pirates. I don’t blame you for being sore.”

“Are you trying to provoke me into getting in a fight?” Brigitte questioned, keeping her voice calm. “Because if you are, you can save yourself the trouble because I’m not in the mood.”

“Very well then,” Murdell returned with a bit of a shrug. “I’ll goad you no further.”

Brigitte was relieved. She didn’t wish to quarrel. The night’s events were a little too much for her and she wished to sleep. She turned her back on Murdell and proceeded to lie down on his bed. It didn’t occur to her that he would mind. Unfortunately to her dismay, he did, however.

“As I told you before, remove yourself from my bed,” he reminded her, “unless you plan on paying for it.”

Not this again, she thought to herself.

“So, we’re back to this old argument?” She asked, already knowing the answer. She rolled halfway over onto her side to face him.

“I thought I made myself clear the first time,” Murdell answered. He was leaning over the table with both hands flat on it, looking at her as if she was a forgetful child.

“Fine, I’ll pay for it,” she responded, “just add it to the ransom money you plan on asking for.”

She turned back around onto her other side, facing away from the argumentative captain. The nerve of him, she thought, won’t even let a lady get some rest.

“It’s not money that’s required,” he informed her.

“Oh, that’s right,” she retorted, “You want a woman to be humiliated and act like a whore. Is that the price you’re speaking of?”

“Being a whore is not a requirement, no. But if a lady acts like one, I treat her like one,” he admitted.

“Are you calling me a whore?” Brigitte was beginning to allow her emotions to control her again.

“No.”

“Then why do you treat me like one?”

“I’m not,” he answered.

“Yes, you are,” she claimed. “You want me to sleep on the floor. That’s certainly not how a man treats a lady. So, it must be how he treats a whore.”

“You’re being made to sleep on the floor because you’ve done nothing to make this a pleasant experience for me. You’ve given me no answers I seek. Instead, you’ve done everything possible to make sure I regret taking you and your husband hostage. In fact, you’ve gone out of your way to make me angry on more than one occasion.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to understand, Murdell. Have you ever been in my position?” Brigitte questioned.

“Aye, I have,” Murdell answered, “and I didn’t spend all my time making a nuisance of myself, either. There’s a difference between being brave and being smart. My advice to you is that you learn that difference. Otherwise, it’ll steer you so far from safety that you’ll never be able to get back.”

Brigitte wondered for a brief moment if a pirate even had the ability to give good advice. Wasn’t everything they did against the law, anyway? If Murdell really were smart, he never would’ve embarked on this little adventure. She had to admit though that there was some truth to what he said. There was a difference between bravery and intelligence. However, she wasn’t sure if Murdell knew any better than she did what that exact difference was.

Brigitte thought it over for a minute, and then decided to start learning a little more about her captor.

“What was it that you did then?”

“About what?” Murdell asked, seemingly more occupied with other things.

“When you were in my position…captured,” she reminded him. “What did you do?”

“Why do you want to know? Planning to try the same technique?” he asked suspiciously.

“Perhaps,” Brigitte admitted, “mine isn’t working too well.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Murdell disagreed, “you’ve managed to keep me at bay nearly this entire time. That’s an accomplishment.”

“I’ve only known you for two days,” she replied.

“Not even that,” he corrected from the table.

Brigitte then rolled onto her back, placing an arm over her head to cover her eyes and sighed. Biting her lip out of frustration, she realized she’d reached a crucial point in her life. On top of that, no one was making it any easier to make the right decision. She was dealing with the fact that, like it or not, she was stuck there. She couldn’t change that. Jumping off the ship and swimming for shore was not a possibility anymore. The dinghy had been destroyed, so she couldn’t steal it. Murdell wasn’t just going to turn around and take her back to her port so she could forget about that option.

It had only been a short while but she was already missing her simpler existence back home. She’d been regretting the way her life had turned out and had never bothered pondering the possibility that it could get worse. Now, life had just handed her a big, fat dose of reality.

I’m not coping with it very well, am I? She thought to herself.

She removed her arm from her head and looked toward Murdell. He’d removed his boots and his feet, still damp from seawater, were making uneven footprints across the wooden floor as he walked. She stared at him but he seemed to ignore her as he sat back down and began writing. She was ashamed to admit that the longer she gazed at him, the more attractive he appeared to her. He needed to shave, but despite that, she supposed the bit of stubble on his chin and cheeks only made him a bit rougher around the edges. It made him appear more masculine, virile, and quite alluring.

It was everything Sebastien wasn’t. Sebastien…trapped in a worse position, out on the deck, with none of the special privileges she had. That mental vision sent her reeling. It made her feel sick. Her actions up until this point may have suggested otherwise, but she did not truly want any harm to befall Sebastien. She didn’t actually wish harm to anyone close to her. It just sometimes happened that way. It wasn’t her fault. It couldn’t all be her fault.

She believed that disasters such as this did not occur because of one person’s doing. They occurred from multiple actions carried out by multiple people. Everything had to fall in place. That’s what had happened this time. We’re all to blame, she thought. Murdell, Sebastien, Gaillard, Murdell’s crew, myself, the guards at the Bastille, we’re all guilty. We’ve let all of this happen. Now we have to find a way out…or die trying. That’s what happens in life, isn’t it? People create their own misfortunes and then spend the rest of their days trying to free themselves of the prisons they’re trapped in.

Brigitte had reached that phase in her life. Her prison was not just a dark pirate ship. It was her guilt in being partly responsible for someone else’s misfortune and her shame that her own wandering heart was the reason behind it. She didn’t know how to explain it but suddenly everything was so clear. She had a plan and this time she intended to put it into action.

“Why did you become a pirate, Murdell?” she asked.

His writing stopped and he looked at her from beneath heavy lids, but he remained silent and went back to writing a second or two later.

“You don’t want to tell me or don’t you know?” She prodded.

“I’m a bit too busy right now to go digging that memory up just to indulge you,” he revealed.

She wasn’t letting him off that easily. “Were you an orphan?”

“I was dissatisfied with my life,” he answered instead.

“You were an unfortunate?” she presumed.

“Why would you presume that?” he asked in return.

“Well, that’s the only circumstance I can associate with a turn to piracy,” she reasoned. “If you were an orphan or an unfortunate, you might not have had the financial means to educate yourself or the ability to-.”

“You’re saying I’m uneducated,” he interrupted.

“I’m simply wondering why an educated person with the opportunities to better his or herself would become a pirate and forsake a decent future.”

“Why would a young woman with a devoted fiancé and the world on a silver platter forsake it all to satisfy her own curiosity?” Murdell asked in return, looking at her with accusation. He then went back to writing and continued, “Because one chooses to, that’s why.”

She held her tongue and refused to retort on the comparison. Instead, she kept the conversation focused on him.

“So that’s your answer?” She asked with some disbelief. “You became a pirate simply because you were dissatisfied with your life and chose to be a criminal?” She didn’t want to believe it.

“That’s right,” he confirmed, seemingly content with his answer.

“I thought there was more to you than that,” she admitted. She was a bit disappointed. He had to be lying. This infamous pirate could not have had such a dull history.

“What did you want me to say?” he asked, as if he were tired of having that question posed to him.

“I expected you to be honest,” she answered, “although I suppose that’s expecting too much from a dishonest man.”

“I suppose it is,” he agreed in an absent tone.

Why is he being so incredibly stubborn? Does he not know anything about women? Women crave emotional attachment to a man we want to get close to. Doesn’t he see his chance slipping away? She wondered.

The plan wasn’t working so well, after all.

“Why won’t you talk to me?” she asked, knowing he’d soon be fed up with her line of questioning.

“Because I don’t feel the need to talk,” he said, “thought you’d understand. It’s the same as you not wanting to talk about your marital problems.

“You’re saying if I talk about my problems with Sebastien, you’ll tell me what I want to know?” she questioned. She was a bit wary of Murdell living up to his end of the bargain.

“I’d consider it,” he reasoned.

“That’s not enough,” she argued.

“It’ll have to be,” he replied. “You’re not in a position of authority nor have I seen any reason why I should indulge your desires. Therefore, I will not be making a deal on your terms.”

Brigitte narrowed her eyes at him, “if I would have been more open to your advances, would you still feel the same way as you do now?”

“I wouldn’t trust you completely but I’m sure things would’ve gone much smoother,” Murdell answered.

“Would Sebastien still be in the same position?”

That question managed to get his attention. He seemed to ponder it much longer than any other before it.

“Do you honestly care for him or are you simply trying to find a way out?” He asked in return.

“It pains me that you find me so heartless, Murdell,” Brigitte replied. She meant it. If a pirate thought of her like that, she must really be cold.

“I find you concerned with your own self rather than another is all,” Murdell explained. “I’m rather ashamed now to admit that we have something in common.”

“Must you put me in the same league as yourself?” Brigitte nearly whined. “Do you see fit to torture me this entire dreadful trip?”

“Torture?” Murdell asked in disbelief before continuing with biting sarcasm. “How exactly, my dear, have I tortured you thus far?”

He put the quill down and leaned back in his chair, lacing his fingers together in his lap. He looked at her expectantly as if he couldn’t wait to hear her answer to that one.

How she wished she’d never said anything. She was rather fed up with all of the bickering and now it was beginning again. She could feel it. When was she going to learn to keep her mouth shut.

“I’m tired Murdell, must we have this conversation now?” She asked, trying to get him to forget about the whole thing and let her sleep.

“You’re tired?” he asked as if she had no right even to say such a thing. “How exhausted could you possibly be, Brigitte? You’ve had quite the restful day and night compared to me self. In fact, I found you sleeping in the Bastille, if you recall. You know, when I awoke yesterday, I thought life was going to continue as usual. I had it all planned out. Despite my reputation, I’ve lived a pretty peaceful existence out here on the sea. But, that’s in the past now, isn’t it? Since I’ve met you, I’ve been arrested, whipped, thrown in a grimy cell, spit on, cut with my own sword, and had my ship attacked, all because of you.”

“Afraid to take responsibility for your situation, Murdell?” Brigitte asked. She was not about to let him lay the blame on her.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means you are as much at fault, if not more so, for your current predicament,” Brigitte elaborated. “It looks as if you are a coward, just like me.”

“Well, that’s one thing I’m not called very often,” Murdell admitted.

“That surprises me,” Brigitte remarked.

“Watch your tongue,” he warned. “I’m not one to appreciate being called such.”

“Is this another threat, Murdell?” Brigitte asked wearily. “Are you going to force poor Sebastien to suffer through some punishment again for me displeasing you?”

“That husband of yours has been given his own ultimatum,” Murdell revealed.

“Which is?”

“That is between him and me.”

Brigitte was now dealing with a mixture of curiosity and dread. What was Murdell talking about? Did he make a deal with Sebastien? If so, what did it involve?

“Why have you not given me one?” She decided to ask.

“Because I still have use for you,” he replied.

“You no longer have use for him?” She inquired, getting more worried.

He smiled bitterly but it quickly faded on his smug face.

“I’ve come to the conclusion that his presence, while it serves some purpose, is not required for this journey.”

“But mine is?” She asked with some hesitation.

“Much more than his… aye,” he confirmed.

She stared at him intensely, trying to see beyond his façade to determine whether he was telling the truth or not. Unfortunately, she was not too skilled at that ability. She decided she was better off being direct.

“What are you planning to do, Murdell?”

“I’m planning to wait for your husband’s decision,” he answered. “For now, the rest of your journey lies in his hands.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“If he wants his freedom, he must let you go,” Murdell explained to her dismay.

That was not what she wanted to hear.

“You mean you told him he could go but it would be without me?”

“Aye.”

“You bounder!” she exclaimed, “How could you do such a thing?”

“I’m a selfish pirate, remember?”

Brigitte was seriously having a fit. Sebastien was being offered the chance to go free and she was stuck here in this wretched place with no means of escape. It wasn’t fair. She couldn’t let it happen. She couldn’t be here alone with these debauched men. Sebastien was the only means of salvation she had right now. She couldn’t lose him.

What if he agrees? She wondered frantically. Would he really do that? What would happen to me? He can’t leave me here alone, he just can’t! I’ve got to speak to him. I’ll plead with him not to leave. Anything to get him to stay.

“You can’t do this, Murdell,” she said, trying to reason with him.

“There you go again, trying to assert some authority and order me about,” Murdell replied, casting it off. “I’m afraid it won’t work, my dear.”

“It has to, something has to,” Brigitte begged near tears. “Please let us go.”

“I’ll await the setting sun and your husband’s decision,” Murdell said. “If he’s smart, he’ll agree to my terms and will walk away no more harmed than he already is. If he doesn’t, we have other ways of getting rid of dead weight aboard this ship. Either way, come sunset, Sebastien de Fornier will no longer be a thorn in my side.”

He smiled the devilish smile that Brigitte remembered from their early encounter. The smile that drew her to him on the docks. At the moment, however, it only served to make him more wicked causing her anxiety to worsen by the second.

“And let me say, madam, I cannot wait for that moment to arrive. With Sebastien gone, there will be no one to interfere with our time together. No one for you to be concerned about but yourself. Then it’s just you, me, and the crew.”