Rainbow colored skies

Jessica Atkinson

Mr. Clarke

Madison was the odd one out never really fitting in with any one, no matter how hard she tried. Everyone seemed to know something about her see something that she couldn’t see. Something that made them move when she walked down the hall, it had her sitting in the back of the class room not wanting the looks that she got when she sat next to someone else. She often wondered if she would ever find out what everyone else knew about her, would someone ever tell her. So she had placed herself in the back of the room today, but when she heard the sound of whispered and people pointing at the door, she to wanted to know what was there.

She walked down the hall as if she had walked the same hall a million times. She smiled moving her lips to a song that was playing in her head, brown hair dancing to the inner music. There was a clicking echoing down the hall, the sound of her high heels hitting the hard tiled floor. Faces popped out of cracks in class rooms looking for the source of the sound and only found her. There were small whispers behind her back, but she didn’t mind she still moved her lips along to a soundless song.

That was the first time Madison set eyes on her, with her black bag and gay pride pins and a rainbow flag pinned to it. She was peering out from her class room door watching her walk down the hall. Having no idea what her name was and trying to shake the odd feeling she was getting, her throat tightened forming a lump that she couldn’t get rid of. She walked back inside, letting the dull sound of her teacher’s voice wash over her.

Days went by without a flicker; Madison wondered down the hall and sometimes she saw her in passing. If Madison was brave she would make eyes contact, she swore she could see a twinkle and little bit of a wink in the other girls eyes. Every time there was a strange feeling in her stomach like a million butter flies where flying around, their wings beating against the inside of her stomach walls. She knew this feeling she had gotten it before when she was with a boy she liked, she had the same butterflies. But she was a girl and girl didn’t like other girls it wasn’t right, she knew that. Sure there were some gay people at her school not may, and not a lot of people openly hated them no where in the school did it say “we hate gay people”, but everyone knew it. Liking another girl that was so wrong you just couldn’t do that, you had to be like other girl and other girls liked boys end of story. But Madison was not about to go against what everyone else was doing she was trying so hard to be normal.

But a few days later, nothing that would have told her that this would be one of the most important days of Madison’s life. Madison sat alone in the library a random book open in front of her, and that’s when it happened. Someone had just pulled out the chair right beside her and sat down; she turned to see who it was. Brown eyes meet the most beautiful pair of green eyes she had ever seen, and the breath was stuck in her throat. There she was sitting right beside her, wearing a smile that Madison knew all too well she had seen it in the day dreams she tried so hard to forget. She thought about her when she was sitting alone in class her mind would wonder, she wondered if maybe she was gay and maybe she liked that girl.

“Hey I’m Paige,” Paige smiled resting her elbow on the table and her face in the palm of her hand. There was that feeling again deep down as Paige looked at her Madison couldn’t find the words couldn’t bring herself to speak. Finally Madison found her voice and they talked at a small table in the back of the library, just the two of them at a small table. They didn’t go to their last three classes they talked for the rest of the day until it was time to go home, and Paige walked Madison home. Madison thought she was the most amazing girl in the whole world, she thought about her all of time and reamed about her as well.

The new semester came and people had started to talk, Madison wasn’t ready to talk back. She wasn’t even sure what was going on how could she tell other people. She didn’t want to be seen near Paige if she wasn’t with her then people wouldn’t talk. When Paige finally found her she had reached the end of her rope, but Madison wasn’t ready. There was a battle inside of her mind raged on day and night, her love battled her reason. Love told her that gender did not stop her from falling in love and she couldn’t deny that. Reason told her that she wasn’t allowed to be gay; that her parents would look down on her because she was gay it wasn’t right.

“Madison tell me that you love me!” But she didn’t not with the people standing their watching her there jaws working with the words they were waiting to say. Madison ran not stopping until she felt the cool air of the outside. She passed someone that she knew from one of her classes, a girl standing outside smoking. Madison stopped asking her if she had any more then lite one for herself. The girl asked if she was dating Paige, for a moment Madison didn’t know what to say. What would this girl think if she said yes, that they where going out, but Madison changed her mind and told her that they where just friends. The girl smile flicking out her smoke on the ground before turning away and saying.

“You should stop laying to yourself she wont wait for ever.”

She pulled out a mirror looking into her own eyes. That’s when it hit her like a bolt of lighting coming out of the sky; she had never seen herself looking so happy before. All of this time she had been spending time with Paige telling herself that they where friend when she knew that they where so much more then that, she just never said anything. But now it was different she knew what she was and she knew that she was in love. She knew it there was no more lying to herself her mind wouldn’t let her anymore. The belief that she once had to please the people around her by doing and loving who ever they where loving was gone.

Time for class walk the halls; open the door third row sixth seat down, sit down turn around brown eyes looking into beautiful green eyes, Paige. The rest of that class passed like a blur. That’s when Madison was able to say the words in her own head, she had a girlfriend she was homosexual.

Months passed then and the school year was over and a new one began all too fast for anyone. Madison and Paige had seen each other over the summer, and gotten even closer than before. They talked about what Paige was going to when she had to start applying to university. They joked about her having to move far away and going to school there.

Two months into the school year, after the last bell had gone Madison found herself walking home alone Paige no where to be seen all day. With a shrug of her should she went inside and started on her home work. It was a few hours when she heard a knock on the door she raced to get it thinking that it was Paige with a long reason why she wasn’t in school. Megan was there but different not the same happy Megan that, Madison knew so well.

“My dad got a job in Nova Scotia.” Tears leaked from those beautiful green eyes, Madison held out her arms holding Megan to her chest. They spent hours crying together in Madison’s room, they were heart broken with the knowledge that they would be apart soon. Two months that’s how long Megan had left until the end of semester and then she would leave.

They tried to make the most of their time spending as much as they could together, doing the things that the wanted to do. After that night Paige hadn’t cried over leaving again, she put on a mask that only Madison could see through. She was trying to be strong so was Madison, but when the lights went out and she was alone Madison let the tears come, and they didn’t stop. On their last night Paige spent the night at Madison’s, and gave her a gift. After all of the things she had done how far she had come to make it here, Paige was leaving her.

“This is for you.” She said handing Madison a small black box, a golden bow tied around it. Madison took the box in her shaking hands, gently pulling the bow off and letting it fall down to her lap, pulling the top off the box brown eyes filling with tears as she looked inside the little black box. Inside the box was a ring with a rainbow heart in the middle hands holding it on both side, and crown resting on the top of the heart.

“It’s a Clatter ring,” Paige whispered her own voice thick with the tears she wouldn’t let Madison see. “The heart means I love you, the hands means no matter what we are still friends, and the crown means I’ll be loyal to you always.”

Madison burst into tears throwing herself into Paige’s arms, tears running down her face. Paige tilted her head up placing a kiss on her lips. Time had stopped the world around them melted away, this was the first time that Paige had kissed her, and Madison had never been so sure of anything more then she was now. She was in love, she was a lesbian. The night was spent with tears and bliss, Madison held in her arms Paige as she slept, she looked like she fell from heaven right in Madison’s arms. She knew it was too good to be true Paige was Madison’s angel and there's no smile of an angel without the wrath of god (1)

The Paige was gone and Madison was alone, with a whole in her heart the she could never close. A week of locking herself in her room and crying her eyes out, playing the same song over and over, heart ach every moment by one of Paige favourite bands seemed to tell their story. “Oh it's heartache every moment
from the start 'til the end it’s heartache every moment without you” Madison wrote the line over and over on anything she could find.

Then finally Madison had to go back to school, she wondered the halls alone. Deaf to the comments she could hear being shouted her way, no one would have said that stuff with Paige with her, but was gone and she was alone. Open the door third row, sixth seat down, turn around and there are no green eyes of an angel there for you to look into, she’s gone.

The character of Paige is the one of my first love Melanie who taught me not to be afraid of who I am and how to love someone without letting gender get in way, and how to love myself not matter what. And everything that happened and that she said occurred in real life. The character of Madison is me everything that she said I have said in real life. (1) Is a line from a song by HIM called Heart ach every moment, and I don’t own that song Ville Valo dose.