Extant

My heart is shaking

Something’s bleeding in my arms

My hands are clutched together

And this simply won’t stop

I can’t hear myself talk

I’m trembling under this weight

My whole body is numb, I wouldn’t have it any other way

Something’s tight in my chest

Can I breathe? No, I can’t breathe

The mirror is turning to dust before my eyes

I can feel nothing but the void

It’s grey like my soul and I can hear whispering

They’re saying I’m not worth it

I fear I will be alone now.

Why do I wake up every day?

When all I want is to do is sleep forever?

I know all I have to do is keep waiting

But it doesn’t seem possible to survive whole

So easy to fall and shatter

And carry on, glued together and scarred

It’s not the right road for me

So which one is? I dissolve slowly

Thoughts racing through my head

I can’t make up my mind, so I remain

Extant.

-11:11 P.M.