Smothered

I can’t stand up to this

I know you want the best for me

But since I live for the now

I can’t take these sheer moments of pain

You’ve taken everything away

So what remains

That I can still experience today

Without your prodding words?

I know you’ve given me freedom to stretch

But I can’t help this feeling

Like I’m being smothered by my rights

I don’t think anyone can get me out of here

I’m not hopeless

Just helpless with a bullet

I’m at the bottom so this can only mean one thing

There’s nowhere to go but even deeper into the darkness

And I don’t want to know what happens then

Maybe I’ll sleep now to dream nightmares

I’d rather face them asleep than awake

When I wake I’ll continue on

And when in doubt, I’ll stay quiet

So no one will know what I’m thinking

Except the pen and the paper

My soul in these lines.

(A/N: This poem is actually for my mom and not my grandma…)

-11:11 P.M.