a/n: aka Mitternacht here. As a form of taking a break after writing Wish, me and fellow member Dice Darwin (aka Snake Eyes) made the plans for this insanity, in order to make everyone laugh or think we come from mental wards. Do note that several of the characters here are named after our main characters, though without any other resemblance. It’s just a coincidence folks, it really is. Finally, any member of aka Meteor-Infinity could join in the insanity, add a character, make a funny story, make guest appearances on the story, whatever. Just email me when you want to post/or have an idea for the story, kay?

Prologue(?)

Whenever there is light, there would be a malevolent shadow cast by it. Demons lay awake night and day in order to tempt the unbelieving and unprepared. They shall lead their armies, ready to strike at our god-given world. They would also come in the form of criminal activity: bandit attacks have increased, thievery has reached a new height, and vampire sightings have doubled over the year.

…so visit the adventurer’s guild now for your problems and you get a free estimate!

That advertisement, among many others, could be seen in any pub, inn, library or school; within almost every city in each continent of the world. True, it had been hard times for many adventurers and exploration guilds. One fact had been noticed by the leading Magical academies of the world: As soon as evil reaches the completion of their evil scheme or army, the cosmos would have also finished the fate of the several warriors destined to vanquish evil “for all eternity.”

Ever since the “Ultimate Meteor Catastrophe” was finished (courtesy of the party of Sir William, Red, and Dogman), villainy has declined to a small, bite-sized problem. For the past few centuries or so, the quality of villains have decreased from Galaxy Engulfing Colossus to Forest Dwelling Gangster. As a result, the commodity of Heroes has decreased in its need.

Magic jewels and talismans have been pawned for a few gold coins; legendary blacksmiths have given up on their profession for the kitchen tool business, and even the adventurer who seeks many women with fine legs and large bosoms have been castrated to a life of monogamy. Indeed, the world has passed their time of adventure.

Ah, to hell with fate and destiny. Many guilds still stand in the present age, doing the thing that they do best. Despite the lack of excitement of the old days, there were still frequent wars and criminal activity, and sometimes the occasional war. But at most times, errands would be done; people are needed to deliver magical tomes or search for missing kittens…

And that’s the (semi)main reason for the existence of many guilds. Dear reader and/or adventurer, enter the guild at your own risk, your sanity may never return…

(0..0)

Princess Ie (pronounced as E-yeh) is in a predicament. First of all, where was her hair dryer and comb, and second of all, where was his bodyguard, Dante? Ever since being hired as a bodyguard (since Sir Leo was removed from his position due to the budget cuts of the royal place), Dante had been late in every working day; which starts when the princess wakes up until she sleeps. Then again, he was useless anyway, save for the ability to carry heavy shopping bags.

Plus, his specialty in magic, bending spoons was obviously useless.

“Where the hell are you?!” note that she was directing that comment to the hair dryer, not the bodyguard. Such complaint of the sixteen-year old was already a daily occurrence, but today was special. Today was a day with much more irritation, and a little bit more anger.

Flashback to one day ago, yesterday in their time. Her birthday; not that large of a party compared to the generations of princesses before them, but close enough. The royal garden was packed with guests, though they were rather bored at a certain bodyguard’s magic show (which consisted of only one act.)

Of course, there were presents. His uncle, the duke of somewhere incoherent had sent her a beautiful carriage-convertible, solar powered, mind you. Then there was the royal dining set, pure gold in every aspect, though it was rather suspicious tht the spoons were bent. But one thing, one present nagged Ie’s mind.

Her father was of course the king of their kingdom, so it was expected that the gift would be great. Princess Liona of the western frontier had received her own castle, plus a cat which turned into a handsome knight under the moonlight; so in her mind, a gift just as good should be given to her, right?

The gift came into a small parchment. Ie wasn’t that disappointed as thoughts filled her head. It could be a magic scroll to summon a cute dragon or an ogre (cute?), or an unlimited gift certificate to her favorite mall. Or better yet, the deed to her own mall. Untying the rope which bound the parchment, the princess hoped for the best.

Dante, magic academy dropout turned bodyguard was at that time during the party, royal camera man. As he took the picture, he laughed at how priceless Princess Ie’s shocked face was.

The flashback ends as the royal bodyguard extraordinaire Dante entered the room, holding a hair dryer in his hands. Unlike most guards who wore full-plate armor, he dressed almost casually. A black long sleeve shirt that reaches below the waist, the sleeves long enough to hide the hands; while a hood covered his shoulder length black hair. Black pants and sneakers finished his ensemble, plus dark yellow sunglasses.

“You called, princess?” Dante yawned, handing the hair dryer to Ie.

“Idiot! It’s 10:00 PM already, who the hell told you to be late again?”

“…Personally. You’re not an early bird too, milady…” he whispered. Ie heard what he said, a small, empty, tube-like bar appearing above her forehead. Moving close to Dante, Ie raised her foot a few feet in the air, bringing it down with powerful force towards Dante’s foot.

Footstomp Toecrusher, 300 hp damage.

Dante hopped in the room with one leg, both hands consoling and holding on to his injured foot. A small trace of orange filled half of the bar above Ie’s head, disappearing a few seconds later. Arms crossed, Ie walked towards a window, staring at the city outside, a frown etched on her face.

“Just shut it already. Today’s my first day as guild manager, and I have too much problems as it is.” True. The gift, the job of manager in one of the most rundown adventurer Guilds in the city, was non-negotiable. Either she took the gift/job, or be sent off in exile towards an education in the convent.

For a second, Ie pondered if there was a door number three.

“Geez… can’t we skip work today?” Dante said, sitting on the edge of Ie’s bed while rubbing his left foot. “You could go to one of the malls and shop, while I stand by your side to carry your stuff. At least the mall has air-conditioning—“ This time, the footstomp was repeated again, this time on Dante’s good foot, the bar that appeared above Ie’s forehead filling up with orange three-fourths full.

“Like I said: shut it!” Ie said while combing her hair. A few minutes later, Ie began to walk out of the room, her long blonde hair straight and fixed. She had one foot through the door when she turned to look at Dante and said, “You better be waiting outside with my carriage before I come down!” closing the door, Dante stood up with a lazy look in his face.

“Yes milady… geez…”

--Insanity Prologue, End—

--The prologue ends! You know, this would be the time that I would be asking for reviews, but let me post one thing first. Dear reader, if you want something to be added to the story (fanservice), just email me or one of the members, or better yet, through a review! (lol)

Current Characters:

Ie, the spoiled brat/princess: spoiled, conceited, and complains way too much for a sixteen year old, this irate teen has the responsibility to run an adventurers guild. Though she really does complain a lot, it should be noticed that she actually (though reluctantly) agreed to work in the Guild as manager. He has a bodyguard named Dante. Also bad-tempered. Special attack: footstomp toecrusher (overdrive variation when limit gauge is full)

Dante, lazy, sarcastic, and has a hidden addiction of porn. He was formerly a student of a magic academy, but dropped out due to his laziness, followed by being hired to bodyguard princess Ie. His specialty in magic is… bending spoons (not sporks or forks, mind you), and it is unknown if he has any other magic skill that doesn’t involve bending spoons.

The Next! Enter the… Ashion. Eye-pokes, armpit hair, and special overdrives!