I staggered into the room I sometimes call my own
& drunkenly threw myself onto the dirty futon
that still smelled like last night’s sex
and last weeks cocaine.
My eyes blindly grazed the ceiling
& briefly absorbed the white nothingness
before they slid closed,
and I wondered if anybody would notice
if I smashed and destroyed and burned and
utterly wrecked absolutely everything & furthermore-

would it even matter?