reverence

if i was improvisation, i’d be something of a genius.
but you know i am really the girl in the bookshop,
leaving coaster coffee stains on every copy of the key of Solomon
and wishing she understood more than five words
of what she reads.

my lord, my lord, my lord
Roland shakes off the words like he’s not aware
that he’s become Pagan’s god.
(Pagan isn’t really religious, after all.)
and it takes more than a saintly expression
for Pagan to realize that they
are in fact the same age, under all those battle scars,
and in love, and, that Roland, of course
can’t accept it.
And so Pagan has the sense to stay quiet,
and the sense to hold very still
when Roland touches his cheekbone.

and i am the pilgrim who doesn’t believe in god
but who nonetheless watches you praying with reverence
and rather fancies – but is sure she cannot understand –
the idea of devotion to the point of a sacrifice
for every step
you
take.

(you’re right, i am religious)

a/n: just realizing how stupid i’ve been. hah.

a/n 2: it’s true, the pagan’s crusade reference is unnecessary, but it embodies so perfectly what i mean and i love that book so much that i decided to write it anyway. though, if it soothes your conscience (i suppose this does not qualify as mine anymore, since the names – and dubious slash – is all Catherine Jinks’) you can simply replace the names with something else, more humdrum. i do hasten to add that i only half way realized how well it fit for pagan/roland, and then changed it, so it’s still mine. sort of.