Chapter 2: The Concepts of a Dark Mind

(Tony’s Perspective)

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Of all people…the one person who knew epitome of what I was and maybe am, it was Tony.

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(One day after the Incident)

Staring into the dark patch of stained stone, my eyes lifted the veil of shock set before my eyes. I stood before the very memory of that sudden chaos. Right before was the reason of my confusion along with Mina. I just do not understand why he did it. It was almost as if the skies knew he was coming when it stormed on the way there. Then the bonfire we had with the teens and…it just doesn’t come together. Suddenly I saw him smile as he stood beside me there in the dark, faded light. It was not the playful, crazy smile he usually does; it was a smirk, which held the essence of a good-bye. “Look alive…,” he said in that dormant night, “I’m sure this is it…” Then the deafening the bellow of thunder echoed in the distant skies with the preceded light, and he was gone. The last moment he spent near the cliff edge was as an agile silhouette moving across the darkness amongst the river boulders. From what I knew, he never knew his way around this place before (until the moment we got there, did he seem to have an understanding of everything about to happen…he predicted the details of the storm), and when everyone was supposed to go in. I told the teen leader of this and he grew very concerned. Rallying several others, he searched out in the outer places about the area. Soon he found this mountaintop and then it happened.

Recovering from my deep thoughts, I looked back out to the river. “Somehow, he must have known something…he did it for a reason!” My thoughts stopped to subdue the rage. I just can’t explain anything this time. The river flowed on in the silence of the lost, searching for what I cannot and harboring the answers if it could see.

-Three months later, in October-

Part one

I woke up to another day, a Saturday filled with the leaping beginning of what it should be. Slowly pushing myself out to stand on two feet, I stretch to smile at such open cool day. Then it clicked into what just happened. Looking towards the drafting desk, I remembered the book Mina had. The wonders that had echoed from long ago shivered back deep inside my mind. Shaking my head to release me from slow drudge, I noticed the urgency to look back into a never dying incident. I walk out to the living room and into the kitchen with breakfast on my mind. I noticed it was a bit dark outside with the clouds shifting in accordance. The scene opened my tired eyes as they now fixed on that dark night.

At noon, I picked up the bass to practice a bit before reading, when the phone rang. It was rather quiet since my brother was the only one else in the house. Picking up the phone, I was greeted by a rather excited or frightened voice.

“Tony! I think he spoke to me!”

“Uh, what? What are you talking about Mina?”

“Look, he did! He said that he wanted to mend his broken heart…”

Now that things were weird, enough…I got this.

“Okay…I understand that he left his book behind and disappeared before your eyes and all…but-“

“He’s trying to…”

There was a pause before we both said it in unison, “Change his past…” Dead silence blanketed the moment, as the impossible had to be chewed.

Thinking back, I noticed a rather odd but coincidental occurrences across past summer. He began to say things about the near couple of months that actually happened as if he had been there, yet he was still himself. He remained to be normal all until that day. I saw the pain in him that seemed to hold knowledge of something to be done.

“Did he date any of his entries?”

“Well, some…I think he might have written most of these at camp; he was always writing.”

“Come by, and bring the book with you. I think I understand what’s going on.” I heard her agreement and she hung up, leaving me to ponder upon the explanation. “Camp? She was there, she saw him, and he was acting different…what did you do…” Muttering my thoughts to him, I lounged on a leather couch; stretching all of my muscles except my tense, taught mind. Why did he have to leave…and how?

Soon enough, Mina dropped by and brought the book along. Somewhere there were greeting smiles, yet their reason was somewhat void compared to the matter at hand.

“I didn’t read much of it, though what I did read was enough. There’s a lot about his regrets and such, all the negative emotions.” Mina informed immediately while handing over the journal

“Hmm…when did he write that entry?”

“Uh, I think it’s” Mina opened the journal to the first couple pages, skipping the introduction page rather briskly, “The 28th of July…2003”

I noticed the page she tried to cover up.

“What in the first page?”

“…Uh…oh, that…”

The silence overwhelmed her. She looked at me, gave the book to me, and smiled with a shrug. She looked away regretfully as I turned the hard cover.

“Whoa, nice…he must have done this…but man…that’s a big step from what I’ve seen!”

“Yeah…heh, I guess so. It even moves…”

The last comment confused me so much that I forced myself to believe I misunderstood her.

“Eh, what was that?”

“Nothing…”

“Hmm…I’ll check it out for myself if it’s frightening you so much. I’m sure he had something written about this. I figure it out, okay?”

Honestly, I really didn’t know what I was saying by then. Words came out the way they should, but I’m not sure how I would fulfill them. Mina seemed a bit more relieved that the book was out of her hands; it disturbed her greatly. Then the whole thing with, “it even moves” makes me question even more. Just as I was putting the journal on the table, she interrupted me.

“You said something about him changing his life from the past. Why would he want to do that? I mean there’s…” She stopped, and her eyes got wide with awe, “He got to camp, and he preferred to be alone then. He was kind of freaking us out, but since the 28th, he changed immediately.”

“How drastic was that change?”

“Well, before, I couldn’t find him. I believe he just did not have anyone to hang close to, yet when he came back from the lake, he was different; There was just this new air about him. Just not his usual self, I mean, I’ve never seen him like that. It was almost as if he changed personalities.”

“There not much to assume from that; I really don’t think he saw his future. That’s just flat out impossible! I know he may have predicted a bunch of stuff, yet it just doesn’t ring clear.”

Mina’s cell phone rang, and she remembered an errand she had back home. “Oh, okay, hey I need to get back home. Maybe it is just best to keep this in secret. I don’t want to have this issue waking me up in the middle of every night! It has freaked me out bad enough, so of all things…keep that book away from me…” She chuckled out the last words as she put her point across. She wasn’t angry, but she just didn’t want to have to deal with it any longer.

“Okay, I’ll find what I can with it, I’ll keep you informed of what comes up.”

“Thanks, see you tomorrow.” She hurried out the door.

Taking a good look at it gave me chills as well, yet there were not much of his fears that scared me…I thought.

Getting up quickly, I rushed to get my stuff for school on a late Thursday morning. Instantly I found myself on my bike gliding through the wet sidewalks and road. It was by this time I gained my consciousness of what I had picked on the way to school. I checked myself to make sure I had the geometry homework from yesterday. Recollecting the instances of the early morning, I reviewed the stuff I grabbed under my breath. “Biology…Geography…Geometry…” I paused as I took a turn and smiled in elation to find out I had it. Then somehow an extra book jabbed my back from the loose bag. Then I remembered from my subconscious-ness that I had also thrown the journal into my bag as well. Odd as it was already, I could not remember putting it there, but it does not really matter now.

The day left a bit of free time so I pulled out the infamous tome from my bag. I opened it up and got a result I would never expect. The picture on the intro page was intact but the words intact were not. Being a bit bewildered by this I calmed the conscience in believing that it was probably never there. I turned the page, and there was nothing as well. Now question arose in my mind. I turned another page with anxiety building. Looking at the page before me I saw the journal actually being written. The words etched themselves onto the page as I read them.

“Quaking here I remain, wondering whether I left my pursuers behind or they chase me still. In disbelief, I shiver in glee to awaken from a dream of a greater possibility I long for. My eyes fix upon my goal set now to redeem myself from that chaos. Anything is to be done upon the will of my soul…to save her…to save her…”

My eyes left themselves locked open all until the bell rang and forced my concentration away from the ever-writing words before me. I looked back down to the book and saw that it was closed. “What the…” Quickly I picked it up and continued to the next class.

Returning, I noticed the skies were a bit darker than before…it was going to be some heavy rainfall on the way. I got my bike to the garage and let it slide in. I took a step back outside to see the clouds once more. They reminded me of the day…a day I wanted to forget.

“Did you ever wish that for once, you could be exactly whom God wants you to be. I mean, to fulfill His purpose…” My distant memory of him echoed back in word from the moment we switched cars before we reached the River house. “Well, we can’t be perfect, yet we always pursue to fulfill His will.” James replied.

“But what if whatever you do, even though you try to fight your sin, ends up in smoke from the chaos of the sinful nature. What if you knew…that you can try a thousand times…and it overtakes you…” The curious eyes of his grew solemn. Shaking his head, he responded to his own question, “You always fight back, and there is nothing that can separate God from his children.”

The dead silence died and life returned, leading me to respond, “Why are you so concerned, is there anything you need to get open about?”

“I wish it was that easy…too many regrets of things that won’t change, bound powerless to them. I can’t look up. I couldn’t save her…” James’ exclamation interrupted him. A bolt of lightning flashed and blinded us as the dark clouds prepared the light show. “It wasn’t like this at first…” he said at last.

The distant memory was the weirdest of all somehow those clouds above me now brought me back to the faded echo of that dark day, those troubles within him were uncommon before.
Still staring, I remembered the odd writing in the book. I looked down to the bag and pulled it out. Everything in it was normal as it was at first. Opening briskly to the page I found before, the exact words were there, but were already written in entirety.

“A dream…?” the thought made me chuckle. “Why do you say the things you say? For you knew where you were going. Wasn’t that so? We all thought you were a bit on the off-side…yet…what were you trying to do?” I muttered the words under my breath. “To save her…lightning…fear…the war of the sinful nature…not being able to do what is right…” I began to put the clues together. Then my eyes opened and I realized that he was and is, from then to now, trying to get our attention. “To save her?” I gently pieced it, but from what was he trying to save Mina from?