Prologue: Katherine Blake

Katherine Blake. If you’d met her, you’ve forgotten her by now. Seriously. I should know – I’m the only one who has remembered.

Katherine who? No, not Taylor, or Wang, or Cohen. Not short Katherine, Kat the redhead, Kathy with the glasses. Not Kate, as in half of Kate-and-Brian. Not Katty the Cutter, whose suicide attempt was broadcasted across the school. Not the blond, bodacious head of the cheerleading squad, or the mousy newspaper person. Wait, that’s with a C.

No, it’s Katherine Blake, and this is her story.

Chapter One: KitKat

“A KitKat, please,” a clear little voice said.

Mr. Jones jumped. “Who’s there?” he growled suspiciously.

“Me,” the voice said, and a little tremor crept in.

“Who?” Mr. Jones asked. Mr. Jones owned the variety store.

“Me. Katherine Blake.” The voice whimpered.

Mr. Jones peered over his drawbridge of a glass counter, behind which he lolled on a high stool, puffing a fat Cuban cigar and watching a tinny television set that was always tuned to a fuzzy black-and-white news channel. He spied the said Katherine Blake, who was just a small speck of thin blond hair and a scrappy beige play dress.

“Oho!” Mr. Jones half-laughed, half-bellowed. “It’s only a little girl!”

“Katherine Blake,” the little girl repeated stiffly. “A KitKat, please,”

“Katherine Blake!” Mr. Jones chortled. “A KitKat for Katherine Blake!”

“Yes, please,” the little girl said. She stretched and reached up and placed a dull coin on the counter. “A KitKat.”

“KitKat!” Mr. Jones chuckled, and reached behind him and pulled down the candy bar.

“Thank you.” The little girl said politely, and snatched the chocolate from the high glass counter.

“A KitKat for KitKat Blake!” Mr. Jones said to the little blond girl’s retreating back. He laughed, a funny laugh, stale and warm.

The little blond girl turned around. She opened her rosebud mouth but no sound came out. She simply nodded, turned, and left, chocolate bar snug in her bony hand.

A KitKat for KitKat Blake.

Chapter Two: Kitty

“It’s a secret club.” Evelyn Smith said solemnly. “Me, and Natasha, and Gabby are in it. There’s one spot open. We’re inviting three to try out.”

“Who?” KitKat Blake asked.

“You.” Evelyn said.

“Courtney.” Natasha added.

“And Alice.” Gabby giggled. Evelyn glared at her, and she stopped.

“Oh.” KitKat said. “Courtney’s really nice and sweet. And Alice is so energetic and fun. Either one of them would be great additions to your club.”

Gabby glanced at Evelyn, confused. Natasha coughed nervously. Evelyn stared at KitKat for a long time.

“KitKat…” Evelyn finally said. She cleared her throat. “Could you give us a minute?”

“Sure,” KitKat stepped away.

Evelyn, Gabby and Natasha huddled in a group for a few long minutes, whispering loudly. Then they sauntered up to KitKat, smiling.

“Okay, well, we’ve –“ Natasha started, only to have a sharp elbow nudge from the glaring Evelyn. She immediately fell silent.

“We’ve decided that you’ve shown a great generosity and a wonderful personality. You have completely surpassed both Courtney and Alice. We have chosen you, KitKat Blake, to join our club.” Evelyn said regally.

KitKat looked baffled. “Oh. Thanks, I guess.”

“Great!” Gabby gushed. “Oh KitKat, I’m so pleased we get to hang out now!”

Natasha whispered something to Evelyn while Gabby twitted around KitKat.

“One thing.” Evelyn said, interrupting Gabby’s senseless babble. “KitKat is a fine nickname. For a puny child. Now, as a member of this club, a more mature name is fitting. I think… Kitty would do nicely.”

“Kitty! What a pretty name! It reminds me of cats!” Gabby giggled.

“Oh.” KitKat, no Kitty, said.

Kitty Blake. Meow.

Chapter Three: Kay

“Hey, Kitty,” a boy who was not very boyish said nervously.

Kitty glanced at Gabby, who giggled and hurried away. “Hi.”

“I’m Neil, Neil McMurray.” The boy stuttered.

“Yes, you are.” Kitty nodded. “I am Kitty Blake.”

“You’re in my math class,” the unboyish boy said shakily.

“I know,” Kitty agreed placidly.

“What did you think of Mr. Peterson’s algebra test?” Neil asked awkwardly, after a few beats of silence.

Kitty cocked her head, and a waterfall of thin blond hair swung across her chest. She looked at Neil, half amused and half bewildered, before quietly replying. “I thought is was quite easy.”

Neil blushed at Kitty’s searching look, and coughed twice. “So, Kitty, I was wondering what you were doing Friday…”

“Nothing much.” Kitty shrugged.

“Oh.” Neil blushed again. “Well, would you like to go to the movies with me…” he trailed off uncomfortably.

There was a few more awkward beats of silence. “Never mind…” Neil mumbled, embarrassed, and shuffled away.

“Wait.” Kitty called to him. He stopped, and slowly inched back to the thin blonde. “I would love to go to the movies with you.” Kitty’s voice was quiet and sharp.

Neil broke out into a relieved smile. “Great! Six o’clock?”

Kitty nodded, and then broke away from Neil’s painfully suffocating happiness. She scuttled to her classroom, and left a confused Neil hanging around an emptying hall.

-

KB! KB! KB! Dearest, darling, K. Kay. Kay said yes! YES! My sweet Kay. My lovely little Kay. Kay, my life, Kay, my love. Kay, part of me. Oh my Kay. Kiss me, Kay. Kay for today, Kay for tomorrow, Kay forever and always! KAY! Neil wrote ecstatically in a plain black wire-bound notebook which held his many, many scribblings on his adoration: Katherine Blake. Born Katherine, dubbed KitKat, snatched Kitty. Now harnessed as Neil McMurray’s adored Kay.

Chapter Four: Kate

“Neil,” Kay whispered hoarsely.

“Yes, my sweet Kay,” Neil crooned silkily. It was three years since Neil’s snatching of Evelyn’s precious Kitty, and the girl had faithfully remained by Neil’s side, silently doing whatever he bid of her. Kay’s automatic obedience had robbed Neil of his manners and he grew into a rather arrogant young man.

“It… it happened,” Kay choked out.

“What has happened, dear Kay?” Neil purred, his voice oily.

Kay bit her rosebud lip, and squeezed her eyes closed. “We’re going to have a baby, Neil.”

“Excuse me?” Neil snapped coldly, his smooth purr completely erased.

“We’re going to have a baby, Neil.” Kay repeated firmly.

“No.” Neil grunted angrily.

“What?” Kay asked, confused.

“You may be pregnant, but we are not having a baby. You are.” Neil snarled, badly shaken.

Kay gasped. “Neil!”

“Goodbye.” Neil stood up to leave, his eyes mean and hard.

“Neil!” Kay wailed. “It’s your baby too!”

“Prove it,” Neil smirked bitchily.

A tear slid down Kay’s flushed cheeks, and she thrust her head into a fluffy pillow. Neil bit his lip, his conscience pricking at him.

“Go away!” Kay sobbed, her tears leaking into the pillow.

“Wait,” Neil squeaked. “I–“

“Leave!” Kay howled. “Now!”

“But Kay––te,” Neil fumbled.

“Fine. If you won’t, I will!” Kay screamed, finally lifting her head. Her thin blond hair was tousled, and muddy mascara streaked down her cheeks as more salty tears flowed from her swelling eyes.

“Kate!” Neil scratched out desperately.

And so Kate was born. She flowed from the maiden Kay into Mother Kate, smooth as a tear.

Oh, Kate. Life will batter you, but don’t let it break you.

Chapter Five: Kate Continued

“Kate!” Mrs. Blake shrilled. “Your supper is ready.”

“Thank you, Mother,” Kate mumbled humbly. She stepped out of her room, thin blond hair tied back in a smooth bun, and her big belly half-hidden in a baggy blue sweatshirt.

She climbed down the stairs, back arched, trying to support the bump that was her baby-to-be.

“Good evening, daughter,” Mr. Blake said snippily. He eyed her protruding stomach in distaste. It took much pleading and begging from his family to not disown his eldest daughter. He sighed heavily. “How old are you?”

“Eighteen, Father,” Kate said quietly.

“How old is your baby?” Mr. Blake continued acidly.

“Eight months, Father,” Kate replied wearily.

“You are a child having a child.” Mr. Blake said icily.

“Yes, Father,” Kate finished the bitter nightly tradition that wove self-hate into her soul and distanced herself from her unborn child.

Mr. Blake’s cold eyes snapped away to Emma, his youngest daughter. “Pass the peas.” Emma did so silently, and Mr. Blake turned to his wife and began discussing the news with her. Outside of the short nightly talks that filled Kate with shame, he never mentioned Kate’s “condition”.

While her parents were talking about the municipal election results, Kate grew pale and paler. Emma noticed, but only the meek, quiet Emma who would never interrupt the Blake god, of Daddy.

But Kate paled steadily, until Emma forced herself to speak. “Daddy!” She wailed, trembling. “Daddy, Kate’s sick!”

Mr. and Mrs. Blake shot a glance at Kate. Mrs. Blake let out a soft scream, while Mr. Blake grew ashen. “Emma,” he growled. “Call Dr. Robinson and Nurse Adele. Your sister is in labour.”

Emma scurried away, and Mrs. Blake dragged a nervous Kate away to the stark-white guest room transformed into Kate’s birthing room, as Mr. Blake refused to let Kate go to the hospital in such a “shameful condition”.

Kate’s eyes were glazed and her face was scared as she lay down on the cot-like bed. Emma popped her ash-blonde head in. “Dr. Robinson is away on an emergency operation, and Nurse Adele went with him.”

“Christ!” Mr. Blake swore from behind Emma. He turned to his wife, a former nurse. “You’ll have to handle this yourself, Judy. She is not going to the hospital.”

Mrs. Blake nodded meekly, as her husband left the room.

“Kate,” Mrs. Blake said briskly. “Don’t look so tense! Don’t worry, it won’t hurt much!”

Kate grunted cynically.

Mrs. Blake turned to Emma and said cheerily, “Sweetie, could you call Neil and tell him his baby’s going to be born soon?” Emma hurried away.

Chapter Six: Katherine

“Jane,” Kate sighed sleepily. “Jane.”

Neil made a sour face, glancing tenderly at the pink bundle cuddled in the bassinette. “It’s so plain!”

“It’s my Jane.” Kate glimmered.

Neil smiled. “And you’re my Katherine.”

“No Kay? No Kate? Just Katherine?” The new mother asked with a smile.

“Just my Katherine. You are Katherine. Not tagged with another name, another person to be. Be Katherine. Be you.”

“Yes,” Katherine Blake whispered dreamily.

“And so my Katherine… will you become my Katherine forever? Will you marry me?” Neil asked earnestly.

Katherine sighed, suddenly snapping back to reality. “The dice have decided everything else. Let it decide this well.”