|Forrester's Fool Proof Guide To Teenage Rebellion
Author: K.B. Hanna PM
So what? Who cares if I steal pamphlets, mailboxes, and dentures. Nobody. But what they do care about is the fact that I ended up with Track Cambridge’s jockstrap. I mean, some girl offered me fifty bucks if she could smell it.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 37,077 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 06-09-09 - Published: 09-22-06 - id: 2250867
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Genre: Fantasy/Young Adult
Likes: Decent romance, fleshed out characters, tension& raw emotion, humor - i don't
mind mild swearing here and there at all.
Dislikes: Clichés/perfection, slash, sappy sickening lovey dovey parts, forbidden love.
Words/phrases to use: "Sometimes I wonder if you're real." "If looks could kill, my profession would be staring." "Oh, you definitely have a /hard/ problem, as you did last night Darling. I can't believe you're not satisfied after what went on then. What shall we do, hmm, what shall we do?"
.Is Rebelling Right For You?.
Have you ever felt out of place in society? Do you feel that the people around you receive more attention than you on a day to day basis? Many teenagers often feel this way at some point, but if you continuously believe the above, rebellion may be the right path for you. If you fit under three or more categories below, you may seriously want to consider rebellion as an open option or a last resort to solving your problems.
(Place A Mark Next To Each Category Below That Pertains To You)
Suffer From Overbearing Parents/Parent
(X) 2. Have Parents That Are Going Or Already Went Through A Divorce
(X) 3. Have A Sexually Active Parent
(--) 4. Are A Love Child
(X) 5. Have A Parent That Is Dating Or Having Sexual Intercourse With A Peer
(X) 6. Are The Youngest In Your Family
(X) 7. Have An Incredibly Strong Urge To Terrorize Squirrels
(X) 8. Helped Senior Citizens Cross The Street Then Push Them Down
(X) 9. Been The Mugger Of A Mugging
(X) 10. Suffer From Homophobia or Hemophilia
(--) 11. Frightened By Pelicans Or Flamingos
(X) 12. Shield Your Eyes When Viewing Nudity
(X) 13. Attend A Private School
(X) 14. Employ A Professional Insect Murderer
(X) 15. Wear A One-Piece Bathing Suit With A Frilly Skirt Attached To It
(X) 16. Tried To Boycott Playboy Magazine
(X) 17. Frightened Of Pee Wee Herman But Continue To Watch Pee Wee's Playhouse
(--) 18. Intimidated By Those Of The Same Sex
(X) 19. Write Anonymous Letters To The Editor Of The National Enquirer or The Sun
(X) 20. Read How-To's On How To Be More Spontaneous
Great! Now the easy part is done, and the harder portions are soon to come. While reading this self-help booklet, please do not put yourself in a state of denial. Remember, denial is not a river in Egypt, though you may wish it was. The first step to helping yourself is admitting you have a problem. When you have marked all of those that describe you, count them up and compare them with the results below.
1-2 Marks – Terribly sorry, we're afraid rebellion is not the right path for you to go down. We suggest that you pre-arrange a meeting with a school counselor and have a deep and meaningful chat about why you chose to confide in this pamphlet. Remember, suicide is not a way of rebelling, if anything it's the cowards way out of a difficult situation.
3-12 Marks – Rebellion may be a suitable choice for you! Nothing drastic is necessary for you to get your point across, so we suggest you simply tweak your routine just enough that people notice a difference in your behavior. An example would be to procrastinate or merely choose not to do your homework so your teachers and parents will start to question what is causing this change in your behavior.
13-20 Marks – Woah! Rebellion is definitely the right choice for you. You are in dire need of our help. We suggest that after you have successfully completed reading this that you continue to read the next section in this pamphlet or call our support line at 1-800-DAY-REBEL. Our job is to help you, we cannot help you if you do not wish to help yourself!