The Man in the Driver’s Seat

“I love her.” You say.

“I know you do.” I reply. I try to hide my disappointment with a brisk look out the window.

You picked me up, needing to speak of a problem. I’m the only one you trust.

The feeling is mutual.

“What should I do??” I look at you with a shy resolve…I know that this was never meant to be…

I just fooled myself into thinking it those years ago, secretly holding out hope that you’d “come to your senses” and realize that true love was right in front of you, staring you in the face…

…In your passenger’s seat.

“Who would you rather be with??” I say, trying to keep my voice steady. You realize every change in my mood…

…You know me too damn well.

“Well, I really like Christina…But, I think I’m still in love with Elaine.”

“Well, there ya go.” I say with a smile. “Let Christina down slowly, and…just…”

I pause.

“Just what??” You ask, pulling into the parking lot.

“Be with the one you really love.” I hear myself say and I regret it the moment it leaves my lips.

You lean over the arm rest and hug me so tightly.

I wonder if you can feel my heart beating so intensely inside my chest…

I wonder if you know that I still feel the way I did all that time ago…

I wonder if you know I still think of you…

I wonder…

“You okay??” You asked with a smile, turning off his car.

“Yea, just glad to help.” I smile as I open the door and begin to get out.

“Hey.” You call to me before I have a chance to leave.

“Yea??” I ask, turning back around.

“I love you, ya know??”

It feels so good hearing you say this…

…But it stings.

You don’t mean it in the way I want you to mean it.

“Yea,” I say. I see my boyfriend approaching the car.

I swallow my unresolved, unrequited feelings and smile back at you...

The man of my dreams.

The man in the Driver’s Seat.

“Me too…”