Show Me a Smile

By Myriddin

Chapter Twelve: The Recital

To say Lucas was startled as Gavin slipped a possessive arm around his shoulders as they walked would be the understatement of the year. He tensed under Gavin’s touch as they followed the crowd filing out of their seats after the recital and headed toward the stage, casting a questioning look in his partner’s direction. “Gavin, are you sure…” he trailed off uneasily, glancing hesitantly at the families assembling at the stage, awaiting the children to come back from changing out of their costumes.

Gavin squeezed his shoulder, flashing him a reassuring smile. “Relax, Lucas. I’m not going to hide you. I’ve nothing to be ashamed of.”

Lucas nodded, though he still looked dubious. He exhaled sharply, struggling internally to try and force himself to relax as he leaned against Gavin’s side. Gavin smiled at him once more and then turned his attention elsewhere, expertly threading his way through the crowd as his blue eyes scanned the assembled heads in search of his family.

“Daddy!”

Another smile blossomed upon Gavin’s lips as he spotted a familiar figure and then Lucas found himself being gently tugged forward as Gavin rushed to greet the person. Lucas caught a flash of pink ruffle and blonde hair and then Heero’s free arm was suddenly full, and the Lucas found himself beholding the most adorable girl-child he had ever seen. A cherub face, complete with a rosy complexion, dimpled cheeks, and sky-blue eyes far lighter and more amiable than Gavin’s, peeking up at him curiously as she embraced her father.

She was utterly adorable, and every inch Gavin’s daughter, though the gentle femininity to her softened the severity that marked her father’s facial features, sporting long curls of wheaten-blonde hair that swept down her back. Lucas flashed his best grin and she returned his gesture with a tentative smile, resting her head against Heero’s shoulder as she continued to peer up at him.

“I like your hair,” she told him softly, pointing toward the ponytail grown out over the past few months, falling past his shoulders. He mimicked the gesture, pointing his finger toward her thick curls, held back in a large red clip, ladybugs painted upon the plastic surface.

“I like yours too.”

Her smile grew a little wider and she hid her face in the crook of Gavin’s neck with childish shyness. Lucas felt a sudden tugging at his pant leg and he looked down to see a petulantly frowning little boy, very much Gavin-like in miniature. The same unruly hair, albeit dark in hue, the same intense shade of eyes, though like his sister his face was softer, outlined with baby fat, and accented with a delicate air by thick lashes that feathered those familiar raging blue eyes and a small, pert nose.

It only made sense that Gavin had such handsome children, Lucas supposed as he smiled down at the child who from the way he was glaring at his father and sister seemed rather disgruntled over the occupied state of his father’s arms. The ply for his attention made sense and Lucas disentangled himself from Heero, opening his arms invitingly as the boy, Nathaniel, grinned and allowed himself to be lifted up, settled at Lucas’s hip as a wide, innocent blue gaze continued to study the man.

A small hand reached out to grasp his ponytail and Lucas allowed the boy’s preoccupation as Nate did not pull or tug, only curiously playing with the tufts at the end of the long rope of hair. Lucas glanced over at Gavin and Aimee, the former watching with warm affection evident in his eyes, his face soft with a strange mixture of love and wistfulness. The girl reached out her hand to him and Lucas obediently grasped it, returning her small smile as her small palm was enveloped in his, but she politely shook his hand.

“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Grant. Daddy’s talked about you an awful lot. You make him smile a lot, too. I like that.”

“Well,” and Lucas shot a look at ‘Daddy’, who flushed and cleared his throat, deliberately avoiding looking directly at him, “I’ll tell you a secret, little missy.”

“What’s that?”

Lucas leaned forward conspiratorially, cupping a hand over his mouth. “I like seeing your daddy smile too.”

Aimee’s face broke out into a sunny smile, glancing up at her bashful father. She affectionately pecked his cheek and giggled at the befuddled expression that crossed over his features. “Yeah. He’s a handsome daddy when he smiles, isn’t he, Mr. Grant?”

“Yep, I’ve got to agree with you there. One thing though, pretty girl.”

She blushed prettily, smiling shyly at him. “What’s that?”

“You call me Lucas. Mr. Grant makes me sound old.” His brow furrowed as his face took on a contemplative look, and he held up the end of his ponytail for her to see. “You don’t see any gray, do you?”

Aimee laughed again, and Gavin’s lips twitched with amusement. “No, Mr. Lucas, I don’t see any gray.”

“That’s good.” He made a face. “Here I was thinking I’d gotten old.”

“Did you see me dance, Daddy?” Aimee asked her father, gazing up at him with those wide, bright eyes, “Was I a pretty princess?”

“You were beautiful, sweetheart,” Gavin reassured, kissing her forehead as he brushed his fingers against her cheek, “You danced perfectly.”

Aimee beamed.

“Daddy,” Nathaniel said suddenly, restlessly shifting in Lucas’s arms, “Daddy, I want a hug too.”

Gavin smiled, reaching out with one arm to relieve Lucas of his burden, and Nathaniel twined his arms around his father’s neck, pressing his face to Gavin’s shoulder. “Missed you, Daddy,” he murmured, nestling even closer to Gavin. Gavin closed his eyes with a quiet sigh, kissing his son’s head.

“I missed you, too, Nate. Very much.”

Lucas watched his boyfriend interact with his children and he felt a pang in his heart he could not quite explain, a foolishly sentimental feeling at the almost picturesque image of Heero, serene and content in a way he had never seen, effortlessly holding a child in each arm as they cuddled close to the sheltering strength that was their father. A family. That’s what they were.

Question was: where could he fit into such a pretty picture? Especially when he himself represented everything that had interrupted Gavin’s once perfect life?

He closed his eyes, taking in a shaky breath as he struggled to rid himself of such thoughts. Damn it all, hadn’t he already come to his answer? He couldn’t let himself get that close; it wasn’t fair, not to him and not to Gavin.

He could be what Gavin needed in the here and now, but he couldn’t be his future.

His head saw the logic, but how did he chase away the empty feeling that filled his heart at the very thought of leaving Gavin?

Damn it all.

“Wonderful,” he heard Gavin mutter, an uncharacteristic irritated tone to the older man’s voice that Lucas’s eyes fly open with the sudden grasp at his attention and he followed Gavin’s gaze to see the slender form of a rather refined woman heading toward them, a well-kept young boy at her side. Seeing Gavin’s glower of displeasure and the way the woman looked he could only guess this was Gavin’s ex. Lucas took his time in studying the infamous Nadine Jeremiah, a beauty with a definite cold, collected air about her and an almost haughty air of self-possession that left Lucas with no doubts of what exactly went sour between her and Gavin.

Gavin was withdrawn but not patronizing and his solitary nature had more to do with natural shyness rather than his ex-wife’s better-than-thou disposition. Knowing Gavin the way he did he could only guess that these two would get along just fine in the social circles they had both grown up in, perhaps even form a casual friendship, but there would be little foundation to build an actual relationship.

Of course, the fact that Gavin played for the other team probably dispelled any notions of something even remotely romantic between them.

The boy, it seemed, was a younger version of his mother, in the raven-black shade of his hair, his willowy build that rendered him more on the thin side than Lucas would have expected from a boy his age, and the aristocratic set of his face. The only thing he showed of his father’s influence was the darker shade of his eyes, though his shared the cold hauteur of his mother, rather than the passionate intensity of the blue that made up Gavin’s.

“Hello, Gavin,” Nadine stated coolly as she came to a stop before them, staring straight at her ex-husband and deliberately ignoring anyone else around him, “I was not expecting to see you here.”

Gavin’s displeasure hardened into a mask of controlled civility, though his tone was still barbed as he replied to her, “Of course I’d be here. You called me yourself with Aimee’s invitation.”

“Yes, but I found myself doubting you could find the time to pull yourself away from other…obligations,” she said, the last part of the statement colored with obvious disapproval and disgust, especially as she cast Lucas a sidelong look. Gavin’s lips pursed, his face clouding, and Lucas moved quickly, laying a hand against his lover’s arm in an effort to calm him.

“Gav, why don’t I take the kids for a few minutes so you and Ms. Jeremiah can talk?”

Gavin spared his boyfriend a glance and nodded, letting down both Aimee and Nate, who stared at their parents with wide eyes, though they obediently accepted Lucas’s outstretched hands. Lucas sighed softly and patted Gavin’s shoulder, cantering over to the eldest boy. He smiled at him as reassuringly as he could, well aware of the palpable tension thick in the air.

“Hi there, you must be Jeremiah. I’m Lucas Grant, a friend of your dad’s. Do you mind coming with me for a bit so your parents can talk?”

Jeremiah stared blankly at him, turning his head over his shoulder to look to his mother. Nadine’s mouth thinned into a tight frown, but she nodded her approval, and the boy turned back to him, shrugging indifferently.

“Alright.”

With their parents’ approval Lucas allowed himself to be led away by the two eager youngsters tugging at his hands, and soon his ears were filled with chatter about how glad they were to meet him, and didn’t they think their daddy was the best, and how their daddy was always doing things with them, and how much they missed him when he was away. As he was swamped with stories of birthdays, and picnics, horseback riding (something he had no idea Gavin could do), and trips to the zoo, he felt that familiar pull at his heartstrings, and this time, it did not feel so bittersweet.

It felt…almost as if…he belonged, listening to the happy chatter of his lover’s children as they pulled him willingly along, walking idly around the perimeter of the theatre. Occasionally, Lucas would glance over his shoulder to make sure Jeremiah was still following, and the eldest boy was doing just that. He followed behind, looking rather petulant and bored, his only contribution to the constant conversation the occasional biting remark.

Lucas found himself wincing as he saw the boy’s young face contort into an ugly expression very much like a sneer, and snap at him, “Yes, I’m sure you and Father are such close friends.” Where a seven-year-old learned to make such an innuendo, Lucas would never know, but he buried his hurt as far down as he could, remembering what Gavin had said about his son being well under his mother’s influence.

As they finished making the rounds and approached the children’s parents once more, the two adults seemed in the middle of a heated debate.

“…the nerve of you, parading around that little fag of yours…”

“…no right to talk about him or me like that…”

“…you never gave a damn before…”

“…you can’t do this to me, Nadine!...”

Lucas watched his lover’s face flush with the exertion of his rage, his fists clenching at his sides, and he felt a sinking feeling in his gut. He knew this afternoon was not turning out the way Gavin had wanted, just wanting time with his children after a near two-week separation.

As he was internally debating whether or not to physically break into the argument, Lucas caught sight of a flash of glossy raven-black hair before he saw his startled lover being pulled into a one-armed embrace by what Lucas saw was now a startlingly attractive man, tall and muscular. Short, ebony-hued hair combed high and tight, a rugged straggle of beard and a pair of playful, almost mischievous cerulean eyes met his sight, and from the sudden warmth of Gavin’s expression, the man was no stranger.

“Gavin! I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”

Gavin smiled as the man greeted him with a hearty clap to the back before releasing him, stepping back to look him over, apparently seeing something he liked as he nodded with approval. “Well, Gavin, it’s good to see you looking so relaxed! I don’t think I’ve ever seen you out of a suit!”

And Lucas had to agree with him there, as his lover pulled off rather nicely his ensemble of a forest-green polo, untucked and loose around his frame and a pair of stonewashed jeans. Gavin only shook his head at the man’s acknowledgment, moving aside to Lucas Duo and his children.

“Please, Eagle, you make me sound as stuffy as one of them. I have to say that I’m offended.”

A light of mischief entered Eagle’s eyes, apparently recognizing right away who them was and before he could open his mouth to reply, a red-haired woman appeared at his side with a small boy of perhaps two or three following closely at her heels. As they approached, the small boy attached himself to one of Eagle’s legs and hid his face in the material of the man’s pants. Eagle smiled indulgently, and ruffled the boy’s dark hair. The child lifted his head to glance up momentarily, revealing a pair of light-hued eyes and a face that announced clearly his relation to Eagle, before hiding once more against his father.

Eagle sighed and shrugged. “Don’t mind Marco. He’s gotten to a stage where he’s gotten extremely shy.”

“It’s alright,” Gavin said, “It seems strange, however. He’s not much his father’s son, is he, Miss Greevy?”

The woman at Zechs’ side smiled slightly, leaning into her lover’s side as the dark-haired man slipped an arm around her shoulders. “No, for that I think we can be grateful, Gavin. And I swear I’ve said before to call me Claire.”

Eagle shot them both a sour, exasperated look, and just as Gavin opened to his mouth to reply, he found himself interrupted.

“Uncle Zach, Uncle Zach, did you see me dance?”

Eagle grinned as he looked down into the imploring expression of his niece and he nodded, leaning down to embrace both nephew and niece. “You bet I did. You were like an angel, Aimee. And look at you, Nate, getting so big. Gonna be as tall and strong as your Uncle Zach someday?”

“Yeah!” and the small boy grinned cheekily up at his uncle, earning a chuckle from Eagle and a ruffling of his unruly curls of hair. Jeremiah gave the man a cool greeting, and sensing the distance Eagle did not push the issue. He also received a curt remark from his sister as well.

“Zachary, you’re looking well.”

“You as well, dear sister. I trust you’re doing fine.”

Claire was less demonstrative, but seeming just as pleased to see the children as she quietly kissed them and asked after their well-being. After a few moments, she cocked her head, looking up at Eagle. “Eagle, it’s been forever since we’ve seen Gavin or the children. Why not invite them out with us?”

“Sure, love. But first I think introductions are in order.” He flashed Lucas a friendly grin, an expression Lucas was grateful for, and held out his hand to Lucas to shake. “You must be Gavin’s beau. Zach Jeremiah, or rather, Eagle, at your service. I’m Gavin’s brother-in-law.”

“I’m Claire Greevy. And please, just call me Claire. I can’t seem to get Gavin out of formality, but not everyone is so uptight.”

Gavin glared at her, and Claire smiled back pleasantly. Beside her, Eagle chuckled and gestured down to the small boy still wrapped around his leg.

“And this is our son, Marco.”

“It’s nice to meet you all. Gavin’s told me a bit about you. You’re the retired pilot, right, Mr. Jeremiah? And Ms. Claire, you were a flight instructor?”

“Right on the ball,” Eagle replied, companionably clapping him on the shoulder, “Greev and I met in flight school and moved through the ranks together. We’ve been partners in everything we do ever since.”

His significant other winced at the address and lightly reprimanded him. “I wish you wouldn’t call me that. No one else has called me that since the academy.”

“That’s why it’s up to me to keep up the tradition, love.”

“I wish you’d just let it die,” she replied dryly.

“I’m shocked she’s put up with you for this long,” Gavin commented dryly, shaking his head at the older man, “Why don’t you just marry the woman already, Eagle?”

Eagle shrugged and glanced down at his lover and son. “What’s the rush? We’re happy the way we are, right, love?”

Claire affectionately combed her fingers through Eagle’s dark hair, glancing at Gavin a wry smile as she bent down to pick up her son. “He’s right, Gavin. Our situation suits us both just fine.”

Gavin smiled. “I like the sense of freedom you two have with things. It’s different, to say the least.”

Lucas couldn’t help but notice the way prim Nadine’s lips pursed and her expression grew tight. So, she didn’t approve of her brother’s lifestyle anymore that she did her ex-husband’s. Interesting, he thought.

“Well, then,” Eagle announced, rubbing his hands together, “About those plans…anyone up for ice cream and the park?”

The children, even shy Marco, exhibited considerable enthusiasm at that announcement, and while Jeremiah and Nadine excused themselves from the festivities, the younger three tugged at the adults to get going.

The children, Eagle and Claire were a few paces up ahead and Lucas found himself back at his boyfriend’s side. Gavin slipped an arm around him but the gesture was absent-minded; his attention was cast elsewhere in the form of his retreated ex-wife and firstborn. His look was one of wistful sadness.

“Gav,” Lucas said gently, rubbing the taller man’s shoulder, “What is it?”

“Nadine’s going to sue me for custody, Lucas. She even changed the grounds of our divorce from irreconcilable differences to marital misconduct.”

“Oh, Gavin.”

“Daddy, Mister Lucas, c’mon!”

Watching his lover’s face fall into a false smile, Lucas felt his heart aching and he found himself reaching half-consciously into his jeans pocket just to brush his fingers against the tiny brass key he housed there. It was his own little piece of tangible reassurance that Gavin loved him and as part of Gavin’s heart, he hoped he could help cure the pain there.

Now if only he could find a way to quell his own.