Ein Vampir auf der Zug (A Vampire on the Train) by H.J. Bender

Foreword: The is an English translation of a German poem I wrote. ‘Hilariously horrible’ is the phrase I think fits best. You can view the original (awful) German version here: /u/HJ(PLUS SIGN)Bender

I was waiting for the train,
The night was dark and cold.
Then at midnight it came:
Light on the trainstation-stop.

At first I did not want to go,
But I was completely alone
At the trainstation, in the night
So I was a passenger.

I have no ticket,
Only a passport.
But empty is the train;
I take a seat.

Then a man I see,
In the corner, standing tall.
With eyes like hungry ghosts,
His face like icy death.

His hair is black like night,
His clothes are also thus.
Beautiful is he, and I feel
Fear; my heart is high.

We ride far for hours,
No word we speak now.
He looks at me not once.
This train ride is my last.

And then the train stops,
He goes without a word.
Now I am completely alone again,
But with a suitcase, there!

I shout to the man.
Too late! He heard me not.
The doors close, I am off!
With the suitcase. My fear breaks.

I go to the suitcase and
I open it. I look
Inside and jump:
Women's underwear!

The man was a vampire
And likes to be a woman.
He has lost his suitcase,
And now it's all mine.