The Perfect Answer to the 21st Century ‘Paradox’

Behold! It is the 21st century, and a new era has begun. Technology has taken the next step forward, as we seek to create new ways to do the same things that we once did, but now at maximum output, and with, this is the big one, MINIMUM EFFORT. The telephone has become Instant Messaging through computers, the Walkman has become the CD player/iPod, and the most economical and practical form of transportation, the bicycle, has become the bank-plundering Segway. It seems that we as a race will never fail to find new ways to shrink our world to bite-sized format.

However, this rush of innovation has left the largest demographic group of most populations, teenagers/young adults, in mass confusion as to what to do and what is the next path to tread. In short, they have begun to ask themselves a deceptively tricky question: “Who am I?” I say deceptively because the answer is so simple that it has been often overlooked in the past. Let me make it a simple riddle: What does one do with a group of people who, after being bedazzled by a slew of new inventions, cannot find any way to connect with each other beyond such things as similar colour preference or favourite foods? Let me give you a moment to puzzle it out…….. Is it too difficult? I see. How utterly depressing.

Well, fear not, for I, your humble narrator, am on the scene to shed some light on the situation. To give a large demographic some way of bonding for an extended period of time, whoever is the person in charge of demographics in a country must manipulate them into conforming. That is to say, he/she must set out a syllabus which will eventually worm its way into all of the little impressionable brains out there and take root, growing the fruits of his/her strenuous labour. Soon, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, will become of one unified image that solves all demographic problems: The Marketing Automaton. This new social breed will swallow every little bit of information shoved at them, whether it be factual or fey. Thus, the answer to this seemingly paradoxical question is “I am You”. In fact, I have already devised three start-up methods which will start the process, and may lead to full automaton capability, thus controlling both present and future generations so they may live in soulless harmony for the next 20 years. This may even last for time uncounted, as those affected sell themselves endlessly to the marketing machine of bureaucracy.

To begin, we must eliminate that which is just so very problematic when manipulating people who have no sense of individuality: Range of thought. If this demographic has an infinite range of thought, then they can disregard any attempt to reel them in, and perhaps begin to discuss things that are entirely not of your making, such as books, opinions, and even abstract concepts. This will have the undesirable effect of widening their knowledge to the point that each one of them can find things truly unique about themselves, and act as true individuals. My god, how horrible that would be, killing off all your plans with such a simple thing. Therefore, we must use such devices as empty movies which have no point or message, or endless advertisements about useless gadgets which will gouge their savings to the point of oblivion, or even resorting to creating ‘new’ creations in the fast food industry, such as ‘Crispy Fries’ or ‘Mcdeals’. All of these will serve to dull the brains of our target audience until they have nothing to talk about except what we tell them to, thus narrowing the range of thought to be a razor thin vessel, allowing only conformist concepts to be supported.

Don’t begin bowing to me in elation yet. This is only the beginning, for this is just one idea I have in mind. One might think it is enough. One, however, would be wrong. We must continue to eradicate any possibility of individuality, because this just does not suit the times that we live in, where innovation requires everyone to BELIEVE in its usefulness, whether it is in fact useful or not. This brings me to my next start-up method. As I mentioned earlier, devices which were in constant use just seven years ago, such as telephones and Walkmans, have become semi-obsolete, yielding to Instant Messaging and iPods, and after all, easier is better, that’s my motto.

But before we continue, let’s look at this logically. What takes up more energy? Walking to or reaching for a telephone and holding it to your ear for an indefinite amount of time, having a proper conversation with someone, or endlessly typing stupid, meaningless phrases to equally dull people for hours at a time, while absorbing information through a T.V screen that amounts to the square root of zip? True, it is the latter option, but being slovenly is so much more fun.

Forgive me, for I am branching off in euphoria. Let us return to the subject at hand. It is the iPod which is at the core of this method. First, however, we must take a trip back to the 70’s. Back then, it was a time of similar, but less drastic confusion among the young masses. One of the ways of coping with the insufferable temporal entropy was having pet rocks. Think about that for a minute, faithful reader (I still have your interest, correct? Don’t you find the loss of individuality fascinating?). Time is….UP! So, what do you think? The pet rock is a rather strange and ridiculous notion, perhaps? I couldn’t agree more.

However, these seemingly useless items had the grievous effect of making people think beyond the confines of the proverbial ‘box’, which made the rocks of great interest and thus not quite as stupid as first surmised (excluding cynics-what do they know, besides pessimism?). This is not what is desired in our conformist demographic. We want people thinking within the box ALL THE TIME. These people must believe in the value of their iPods as those ‘rockers’ did in the 70’s, only within the confines of the ‘box’. Therefore, we must market iPods constantly, within EVERY SINGLE ADVERTISEMENT that is ever aired or shown for the public. More over, we must do so in a way that subliminally says, ‘Do not create another hip item, for that is the path to the imagination and individuality (e.g empty bottles, pen casings etc)’. A conformist demographic must have no imagination, or these carefully laid plans will be annihilated in the sundering of the manipulative growth within the brain, every last seed. I cringe and weep at the very thought of teens/young adults WANTNG to be unique.

Now we come to the third movement of this beautiful symphony, with its theme of manipulation ready to reveal its final message. As I’m sure everyone is aware, one of the very things that defines a person is the choices they make and why they make them. We must displace the driver that controls this, that being the individual himself/herself, and take the reins for ourselves. How might we do this? No advertising power or media monolith can take this power away or hide it. Unless, as is the fate of things on occasion, they don’t have to. If enough of the demographic has been affected by our first two methods to tip the scales, then the proliferation of our devices will carry out the third method for us, as we sit back and laugh with each other over our MSN conversations. What this means, precisely, is that the majority will claim that these things are ‘cool’ or ‘the fashion of the times’, and no matter how hard the majority fights to dispute these claims, they will eventually be overwhelmed by their desire to ‘fit in’, since that’s all that matters to the average high school student, those impressionable youths that surely cannot think for themselves, and we shall not let them. This will continue from past, to present, and on into the future of soulless harmony that we have constructed.

I know that this is a lot to digest, as conformists are rocky vessels, but I will attempt to boil this down to a simple mixture. An individual is a person of their own mind, unique and singular in his/her existence, until the tide of society sweeps him/her up, no matter how they may run or fight, and bears him/her off to a new and unlooked-for land. A land that requires you to do nothing but just sit back and relax, and forget that you ever had your own ideas, or that conversations meant anything. All you need to do in this marvelous land is to be one among many. After all, it’s much easier and effortless to think along the vein of many than to push against the tide as one, and discover what is hidden beneath the waves.